People who choose to stay in abusive relationships (emotional, verbal, or physical) even when they know the relationship is abusive, I don't understand. What is appealing about feeling like you are always wrong, living in fear. What keeps people going back to that kind of relationship?
2006-09-01 17:32:48 · 5 answers · asked by Bridget C 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
ok, ok, ok. I think I know this one. Say you're in a relationship with a guy who runs hot & cold. He's been distant & unaffectionate and just when you are sure he has someone else or just doesn't want you anymore, he comes back with something (however small it may be) that makes you feel like he still loves you. *Sigh* drama over, back to normal right? I suppose that rush of doubt then relief is appealing. Makes some people feel loved to have someone who always apologizes and comes back to them and no one else. It is not usually real love that makes this type of relationship stick. I think it is maybe an addiction to drama, co-dependency or lack of self esteem that keep some from seeing things as they really are or as what they could be. Either way both parties have to be sick to stay in that type of relationship. Now to answer your other question... maybe you don't let go. Maybe you get this person back into the world and doing things that remind him/her that there is more than their f'd up significant other (p.s. clubbing would not be the thing to do here). If he/she is not ready to accept help, maybe you can distance yourself until this person has enough time to realize you (and probably many others) are right.
2006-09-01 18:04:05 · answer #1 · answered by - 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're referring to a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, most of the time they stay in the relationship simply because they are afraid to be alone. These people would rather have a crappy relationship than to be alone. Alot of people absolutely fear being alone, but these people will put up with these things and make tons of excuses for their abuser so that they won't have to leave. My advice is not to completely let them go but somehow just tell them "Look, I've told you what you need to do, you know what you need to do, and now it's up to you to do it. Call me if you ever need help." especially if they're being abused. Let them know that you will help them if they need it.
2006-09-02 00:39:16 · answer #2 · answered by Jenn 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They feel like the person will change and the relationship probably didn't start out that way...They also have low self-esteem and probably believe they can't do much better.
You can't really help that person unless they want to get help...All you can do is be there for them if that time ever comes...
2006-09-02 00:36:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To answer your first question I don't think you should let go just keep praying for them and be there for them and to answer your second question sometimes love makes you do things that you know aren't right you become so attached to that person you just rather put up with their mess than to let go knowing that you could do better
2006-09-02 00:43:57 · answer #4 · answered by tpchick22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can only help those who want to be helped. Some people prefer to learn by their own exoerience, and pushing ideas onto them is not a help
2006-09-02 00:45:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋