I have been happily married for 6 years, but recently I started talking to a guy that works for the same company I do. We do not see each other but we do talk and email each other all day. I feel guilty sometimes but then again we do not see each other. Should I stop talking to him??
2006-09-01 16:49:59 · 60 answers · asked by estrella 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To be perfectly honest with you, I do believe u have answered your question ! If as you say you are feeling guilty (sometimes or otherwise) about your communications or dealings with this male friend of yours... then more than likely it's something you shouldn't be doing . And , I don't think it's simply the fact of you "talking" to him( your friend) that has you feeling guilty . Perhaps, it has more to do with the nature of the conversation & e-mails being shared between you both that causes the so-called guilt feelings.
Besides, if whatever it is that's transpiring between you & this male -person can't be mentioned to or shared with your husband of 16 years... then chances are that you shouldn't be indulging in it yourself.
I would suggest that you discontinue with your "flirtatious" affair with the gentleman as soon as possible... and, before it gets too far out of control. To the point that it could even jeopardize your marriage.
Also do keep in mind "Murphy's-Law" ( All that can go wrong...Shall go wrong ), eventually ! And once having lost your husband's trust...it will be the hardest thing to ever recover... if u ever can!
Really think about what you're doing; and all you place at stake !
Good luck !
2006-09-01 17:15:14 · answer #1 · answered by anthony J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong in talking to and having a casual conversation with someone. You say you feel guilty because you talk and e mail each other. Could it be that you feel guilty because you may have more feelings for him than your letting on? I am not trying to say anything out of context here, I am just trying to play the devil's advocate. In any case I wouldn't feel guilty for just having conversations with him. Being married does not mean you have to stop talking to people from the opposite sex. It is when you start playing with fire that you should feel guilty, or worry.
2006-09-01 17:12:07 · answer #2 · answered by Lei-Loo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should stop talking to him! How would you feel if your husband was doing the same? You would hate it and be highly suspicious as any reasonable person would. I can say from experience that casual and friendly communications USUALLY leads to other things(use your imagination).You are feeling guilty because you know it is not right. Respect your husband and the happy marriage you have going for you. Don't ruin a good thing!
2006-09-02 04:10:13 · answer #3 · answered by JistheRealDeal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feeling guilty is a good sign of wrong doing. Your getting emotionally involved with someone else besides ur husband, and that is just leading to more trouble. There is a saying that goes "a mature person does the right thing when no ones is looking."
2006-09-01 16:59:12 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no. Oh but you said you are happily married. Well then yes because if you continue communicating with the other guy you just might fall in love and screw your happy marriage up. So if you are truly happy stop communicating with the other guy or invite him over to meet your husband so he can be a friend of the families.
2006-09-01 16:54:47 · answer #5 · answered by florie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not cheating unless you are talking dirty to each other and things of that nature...if you are having feelings for this guy I think its time you sat down with your husband and had a talk as well with the other guy involved....don't feel guilty for having male friends and talking...as long as nothing else is going on.
2006-09-01 16:52:51 · answer #6 · answered by lildevilchild_87 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what you two say to each other. If it is personal, and leans towards the romantic.....then you are on a very slippery slope.
I have an ex-bf who I speak to and see from time to time as friends. He is involved and says he is in love with another woman now. But when we do talk, he always has a way of steering the conversation to sexual talk. He thinks this is not cheating....but I do. I feel he is not honoring me as a friend, nor is he honoring his girlfriend. And I wonder how she would veiw his behavior towards me if she knew what he was saying.
If you feel guilty...then maybe you should re-examine your motives.
2006-09-01 16:54:16 · answer #7 · answered by littleflower_57 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that your husband doesn't know and you're feeling guilty about it makes me wonder what your intentions are for having this friend. It may not be considered "cheating" in a sense but if you're sharing intimate information with him that you should otherwise be sharing with your husband then it's considered inappropriate. Consider also: What if u were to let your husband in on it, how would he feel about it? If your husband responds in anger then u can bet that this relationship u have with your friend, however innocent, will be inappropriate.
2006-09-01 17:08:24 · answer #8 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on what your husband thinks about it. Im sure he talks to other women while hes at work right? It also depends on what kinds of things you discuss. If you discuss stuff that should only be discussed with your husband then I think you are probably going too far. Other than that I don't see why a woman cant have guy friends just like she can have girl friends. As long as things don't get too close.
2006-09-01 16:53:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No honey, it's not cheating. Everyone needs someone to talk to. There is one thing that could make it wrong though, and that's if your husband does not know the two of you converse. He's a co-worker, nothing more, nothing less. As long as you have no intentions of straying from the hubby, it's a healthy friendship.
I have one of those guys too. But my hubby knows about him and we often do things together with this guy (baseball games, football games, bars, etc.) My husband knows that I vent to him as well as he does to me. I think that as long as I don't hide anything, nor have a hidden agenda or any fantasies about this guy, it's okay.
2006-09-01 16:55:23 · answer #10 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋