I am a teacher and was wondering how people feel about this. Recently it has become the 'younger the better' and I am not sure how I feel about that. Wouldn't it confuse them? Isn't there a certain age that children can understand 'sexuality' and that's when they can make their own decisons. What do you think?
Serious answers please....
2006-09-01 15:59:40 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I agree with some answers that it shoud be parents but here in Toronto, Canada it is part of the curriculum in elementary school...that's why I'm asking.
2006-09-01 16:05:32 · update #1
I don't see a problem with children being exposed to the fact that there are gay people in the world... just as they are exposed to the fact that there are black, brown, red, and yellow people... and that there are poor people, rich people, and good people/bad people.
I don't think that discussing the specifics about the SEXUALITY of gay people would be appropriate until the child has reached puberty AND HAS A NEED TO KNOW.
The truth is... I have a nephew who has lived with me on and off with and without his mother living here, too. I have been with my boyfriend for my nephew's ENTIRE life. He will be 17 in December and we have never discussed homosexuality with him. His mother may have at some point... I don't know. His father might have at some point... I don't know.
He knows my boyfriend as Uncle Robert... he knows we sleep in the same bedroom. I have never felt the need to discuss what we do in there with my nephew. I don't really know what I would have done if he had ever asked. I'm sincerely glad he didn't.
I remember when he was very young... probably about ten or so. We were at the store buying school clothes. There was a family in the same area as we were that was completely out of control. The children were screaming and running around, the mother was screaming and running around after the kids, she kept slapping the kids and they would wail and thrash around on the floor then get back up and continue the behavior that got them into trouble in the first place. My nephew looked at me and asked, "why are those people acting like that?"
I didn't really know what to say. I didn't know how to explain to him that some people shouldn't have children. I didn't know how to get his young mind to understand that out of control parents have out of control children. I didn't know how much a child's mind really needed to know about family dynamics and how allowing children to never learn how to behave is abuse equal to beating them or starving them.
I told him that there are lots of different kinds of people in the world. Some good, some bad. He was quiet and watched them for a while as the chaos continued, then said, "I'm glad we don't act like that." "Me, too." I told him.
The reason I told that story is that I think telling children about homosexuality, agree with it or not, should be similar to that. Why does a child need to know anything more than that there are lots of different kinds of people in the world... and gay people... are just one of them.
2006-09-02 02:34:09 · answer #1 · answered by Dustin Lochart 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't think kids need to know or even want to know much about "sexuality" when they are very young. If they ask about homosexuality, all a parent really has to say is that is that instead of a woman and a man being wife/husband or girlfriend/boyfriend, it means that two girls or two boys are like that. (And here you have to step in and differentiate between homosexuality and two same-sex friends.)
Back to your original question: I would say sometime in middle school the kids should be openly taught what it is, right around the same time they are usually taught things in sex education and health classes. (But quite frankly, most know, or at least have some basic idea long before this -- their peers tell them.) We first had sex education in 6th grade.
Parents can tell their children anything they want about homosexuality. However, to be educated their children have to know a little about everyone, including those who might be different from them, sexually. It's not really a case of allowing them to make their own decisions; it's about them not being ignorant of the world and the people around them.
I knew what a homosexual was in elementary school, probably just before middle school. I just listened to my parents as they conversed about people and also had a school chum who was very wise to the world. I didn't quite figure out what a bisexual was until later.
2006-09-01 22:10:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suppose I am a bit unsure of exactally what you are supposed to teach them. If you are to teach them that gay is ok, then no age is too young. The younger they are I think the best approach is to compare the animal kingdom, where some animals that mate for life, are attracted to and mate with the same sex. Teaching them the choice is theirs alone as to who they are attracted to is always a good idea, but also that all people deserve respect for their choices.
I think also I would teach them not to fear being "hit on" by someone of the same sex, if it is not their inclination, they can be flattered that someone finds them attractive, and clear that they do not share those feelings.
If on the other hand you work at a christian school who's intent is to warn children against gays, I believe you will do more harm than good and indeed will confuse them especially if they have gay tendencies. Warning them against pedophiles is not at all the same cup of tea. Acts of a pedophile and or a rapist are not sexual acts, they are acts of violence and should not be equated with sexuality.
Some years ago, I knew a woman who had escaped from Yugoslavia while a little girl. They shot at her as she and her family ran across the border. As an adult she had some issues of belonging and religious needs. She converted to being a Jehova's witness, and they convinced her she was doomed to an eternal hell... she tried to commit suicide. I found her before she died and saved her life. I ran into her many years later, happily alive and lesbian. In some ways she was like a child so that is why I mention her here. If her education had included acceptance of differences she might not have had to go through all she has.
I wish enneagrams were taught in schools before the age of 13 as I believe it is a far better way to prepare people to understand themselves and each other than any sex education.
No matter which slant your education has towards homosexuality, your attitude over the subject and the teaching will be apparent to the children on some level and you need to be very clear in yourself how you personally feel on the subject. If you are bias that bias will be what you are teaching even if it is not your intent.
If you are uncomfortable about teaching this, that too will flavor the education and may end up backfiring even if your intentions are good. Try to teach them to follow their bliss (that which makes them happiest) and you are on the right track.
2006-09-01 19:31:48 · answer #3 · answered by Silvatungfox 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
As soon as a child notices that there is a difference, you explain to them in terms they will understand. A five year old can understand that some other children have two moms or two dads. They don't need to know how a gay person makes love. It is not much different than how you explain any sexuality to a child. You are honest and tell them what they need to know and are prepared to understand.
I'm aquainted with a family where there is a gay grandfather. From age 4, the youngest boy knew that "some boys like girls, but sometimes boys like boys." That's a four year old's understanding, and there is nothing confusing or harmful in that understanding!
2006-09-02 02:24:42 · answer #4 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children nowadays question what homosexuality is before the age of 10, however, I believe the best time to teach it is around 12 years. I know when I was 12, I had feelings for women already, but didn't understand them. I knew I was different. It's best at that age because to those children who are already feeling this as I did, they won't be confused. They can identify themselves or find themselves better and faster...However, to some children, it can also be an influence...
2006-09-01 23:24:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing wrong with teaching diversity. Children for the most part haven't made the connection between a boyfriend or girlfriend and their chosen having sex, at most they know about kissing and hugging. I'd stick with everybody is different, some boys have girlfriends and some girls have boyfriends. That is ok. Sometimes, but not always some boys have boyfriends and some girls have girlfriends and that's ok too. I think I'd leave the connecting of the naughty bits for health and sex ed classes.
2006-09-02 02:01:00 · answer #6 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off I'd like to say that I just reported Gery for harassment. Second I'd like to say that I knew I was gay since I was 6 years old. I think for young kids you could just explain that some children have two mommies or two daddies. Not just a mommy and a daddy. Then you can explain the other stuff when you talk about the birds and the bees. I'd give them the option. I'd let them know that if they wanted to talk about it I would be glad to, but if they are straight they may not want to even know.
2006-09-01 16:43:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm not exactly sure how to answer this question but if it helps, I'll try. I'm a homosexual and I first came out to my mother at 14 years old. I felt the me being 14, at that time, was an appropriate age to safely come out to my family, without them thinking that I was just going through a phase.
2006-09-01 22:19:28 · answer #8 · answered by adam f 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is no 'age' appropriate time to teach children about homosexuality. At what age do you find it appropriate to teach children about heterosexuality?
When a child asks a question regarding sex that is the appropriate time to answer their question. Don't give more than they ask for and don't give less than their question deserves.
It occurs to me that you, and so many public educators, are, to quote my grannie, "Making trouble where there isn't any."
2006-09-01 18:48:53 · answer #9 · answered by Temple 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My children have always known they had two Mommies. Their friends always saw us in a family situation. It was never an issue. I had a harder time helping them understand algebra! I don't think they need the "physical" explanation of ANY relationship until they begin to ask, but the family explanation is a breeze at any age.
2006-09-01 19:03:54 · answer #10 · answered by Hidisar 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋