just because the earnining are less these days she has become abusive, insulting and she keeps hurting my feelings even in front of the kids. she has always been very insulting and abusive, but that was tolerable but now she has broken all rules.. pls advise ... pls help,,, i love my kids and my wife.. help
2006-09-01 15:46:34 · 10 answers · asked by cargo s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Tell her how it is! Are you her paycheck or her man? Tell her that should come bring in some money herself! Explain to her that it is very hurtful and you wish that she would appreciate your trying. I would also tell her that she has a major problem that she would hurt her own kids to try and make herself look good, this is exactly what bringing the kids into this is doing! I would tell her that you love her but if she doesn't start showing you some respect you will be around only for the kids, tell her that you are wondering if she meant the vows she took, and that she could help by saving money and being supportive.
I would let her know that she is going to be cut off emotionally and physically from you until she straightens up. The silent treatment may be a good option if she doesn't agree to stop.
I would also remind her that she needs to learn how to love and make a man feel like a man. Tell her she doesn't have the package to be a trophy wife so quit acting like one! I wish you very good luck if this doesn't work when the kids are raised I would be out of there!
Sometimes we need to make our point and then stand up and demand the respect if nothing else she will know you a Man and not going to take the abuse!
2006-09-01 16:19:04 · answer #1 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if she doesn't have any respect for you at all if she does these things, especially in front of children. Has she thought of getting a part-time job so she contributes? She insults you and puts you down so she feels better about herself- she is nothing better than a bully. She's using money as an excuse to do this. There's many people who don't have a lot of money and don't insult their husband/wife/partner because of it, they band together to work out a solution to the problem. Your kids are learning from her and they will think that it is normal to do these things when they get into relationships later on. Not good at all.
2006-09-01 15:57:07 · answer #2 · answered by strongagrl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one should ever accept abuse.
Tell her you are doing the best you can, is it possible for you to get a better job or a second job?
Does she work, maybe she can do something to help out. If she has to be home she can take in laundry or ironing. Be creative.
But set her down and have a heart to heart, let her know how she makes you feel. Tell her you love her but that she has to quit the verbal abuse or you may have to leave. If she can make a bigger income tell her to work and you will stay home.
2006-09-01 15:55:00 · answer #3 · answered by bustin out 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
21 years is a long, long time. 'You teach people how to treat you' and I believe that. Why do you think she should change her colors now when she has been like this all of the time and you never stood up to her before?
You sound like you are insecure that's why you let her treat you like that. You probably need counseling, to find out the 'whys'. You have two choices as I see it....Stay there and put up with it, or make a change...and a change doesn't necessarily mean leaving...but something has to happen. Good luck. I hope you find your way through this and have some happiness. You definitely are NOT happy living like this.
2006-09-01 16:08:32 · answer #4 · answered by Nisey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a man. Leave like a man.Make arrangements with a lawyer for a divorce.Fight for joint custody.She does not love you, probably never has.Pick yourself up and start over with someone else and never hint of the abuse you tolerated.Seek happiness and it will find you in time.Also once you leave do not take her back under any circumstances, ie begging, suicide threats,general threats, Tell her its better for your children to be happy away from the home rather to be enemies within it.There could be a guilt complex of cheating or just pure hatred against you causing her outbursts.Probably her pride is too great for her to confess anything to you.
2006-09-01 15:57:52 · answer #5 · answered by triple sec 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah the eternal question. Unfortunately this is becoming a pattern girls focusing on money. Here in the USAwe are soooo lucky we all and i mean all of us live better than most kings ever did and still chase material things that we then throw away. Sir Theres no little witty response you your question living with negativity is just like poison you must find a time when you both are calm and talk to her calmly and slowly and with understanding We all have so much its a shame for relationships to suffer because of a focus on material things.
2006-09-01 15:52:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one deserves to be abused, not either spouse, not even in tough times. I know it would be difficult, but for the sake of your mental health, I would advise moving out for a while to a relative's or friend's house if you can. Your emotional health DOES count!
I'll pray for you, and I send my caring. No one deserves this bad treatment.
2006-09-01 15:51:50 · answer #7 · answered by catintrepid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
put the kids aside and talk to them they know whats going on anyway .let them know that if mom dont act right you may have some hard choices to make for your wife tell her when you had money she spend it and now that you have hard times so should support you cause I know women forget how much you did or do for them when time get hard. let me know how its turns out?
2006-09-01 15:53:27 · answer #8 · answered by young one1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
divorce her and find a lady that will accept you for you. You deserve better
2006-09-01 15:50:25 · answer #9 · answered by bolandalbaby@verizon.net 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask her to get a job to help out .
2006-09-01 15:51:01 · answer #10 · answered by shepardman1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋