I'm falling apart! I have been married for 7 years now. And out of the blue my husband comes home one day (Yesterday), kisses me on the forehead like he does every day. Hands me an envelope, and starts to head out the door, and as he starts out the door he looked back and said "by the way I’m tired of being married I filed for a divorce" What do I do I never expected this he seemed happy I know I was we have no children but that’s because he cant I just don’t know what to do I love him so much
2006-09-01 15:29:07 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i am so upset i just needed to tell someone i have no family left so i cant tell them and i dont have many friends beacuse we just moved here two months ago and i just dont know what to do it was so just right out of the blue i never saw it comming
2006-09-01 15:34:34 · update #1
you know we moved here about two moths ago he said to find a better job but if anything he got a worse job
2006-09-01 15:41:23 · update #2
There's a song that is apt. "I can't make you love me if you don't..." There are better things in store for you. Be strong and keep going. It'll work out.
2006-09-01 15:34:04 · answer #1 · answered by wildstar_2 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow... That is a shocker. I feel for you. Is he willing to talk to you why he want a divorce?
If you have a friend, family anybody that you could trust to talk to about your dilemna that would help you a lot. Ask god for strength and say a lot of prayer you will be needing it. It is an awful scenario when somebody handed you a divorce paper.
Next find a good lawyer if there is a lot of asset that you need to be protected. Open up a new account on your name only so you can establish your own credit line. Do that right away before the divorce. Closed any credit card that is both in your name as long as you are not paying any bills. Do not let your emotion get you down. Your will feel angry, betrayed, all that crazy stuff. It is an awful feeling but if you play it right you will be okey. God bless and goodluck.
2006-09-01 15:42:15 · answer #2 · answered by leyte6519 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, think we needed a little more information here. What was in the envelope for one?
Ok, with the information I got, there isnt anything you can do. I mean he didn't act like he was disrespecting you or that it was an impulsive decision. It seems like it was something he had been planing for a while.
I would get yourself some counceling or atleast surround yourself with family, friends and loved ones for awhile. Dont dwell too much on it or you will go nuts. Allow yourself a certain amount of time everyday to think about it, but dont over do it!! Keep busy and be honest with yourself about how things were going. There were bound to be some red flags that you just didnt want to admit or see. I wish you the best. Take care.
2006-09-01 15:34:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. What a shock that must have been. That's been happening to a lot of people I know lately. There will be this very shocked feeling for a while, almost like someone has died. Find out if he wants to try to go to marriage counseling. You may find out more there. My suspicion is there is someone else (both of my friends who had this go down that way found out later there was someone else and the spouse was just trying to conceal that, as if saying you just don't want to be married anymore softens the blow!). I could be wrong, but it's a hunch.
The good news (or maybe bad) is that as you explore this situation, you will probably discover that there were little things, little signs of trouble before, and that the marriage was not perfect. Maybe it wasn't on a collision course towards divorce, but you will probably see the flaws and what got you to this place.
Try to draw him out and get more details, but don't hold out hope that he'll want to stay together. Just do the best you can to find out why. If he won't go to counseling, consider going alone if you're having issues sorting it through. You will be ok. Good luck!
2006-09-01 15:36:10 · answer #4 · answered by Chris 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's probably been cheating. Call a private investigator to check it out first. If that is the case you have a great opportunity for alimony. Do Not sign any papers until you talk to your attorney. I've never had a man to kiss me on the forehead. What's up with that? Didn't that seem weird to you?
The only thing you can do is to find someone else. So sorry to hear this. This just reaffirms my opinion that a lot of men are insincere, married or single.
2006-09-01 15:50:05 · answer #5 · answered by Credit Expert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, im so sorry this has happened to u, what a chicken sh*t he is to do this to u, my husband basically did the same to me as far as just one day out of the blue, he wanted a divorce, come to find out he was seeing another woman for the month prior to deciding to leave our marriage.. and we have kids.. Men are insensitive ******* when they want to be, i know u love him and u probably will for a long time.. but u need to know that u will be ok, u will survive, heck if i survived i know u can survive.. I dont know where u are in ur life, but seek out alimony from him, do not leave ur home.. he is responsible for keeping a roof over ur head untill the divorce, if nothing else go back to school and make him have to pay for it.. i know these arent the things u care about right at the moment, i know u feel like ur heart is crushing into a million pieces, but hun..he is a miserable bastard and a coward for doing what he's done to u.. and if u could see this situation from a 3rd party point of view u would be saying the same thing.. THE BEST u can do is not to dwell in ur sadness, pick urself up off the ground, dust ur self off, and anytime u have to deal with him act as happy and confident as u can, act as if you dont care that he's left u.. trust me, he's expecting the tears and the begging, DONT do it..he may not come back, but dont u feed into his EGO by giving him the opportunity to see u cry or to see u sweat.. hold it in till he leaves then burst into tears all u want.. id be willing to bet though theres another girl involved, and he may of very well moved there to be with her...but wanted to make sure it was going to work between them before giving up his security, U.. so id follow his butt and take a camera with u, i dont know what state u live in but depending on which one u could get him for adultery if he is cheating.. id show up after work the next time he's there, watch from a far and watch where he goes after work..
2006-09-01 15:58:06 · answer #6 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know if you work or not. If you dont have a job get one. What friends you do have make plans to do things with them. It is very hard when your husband out of the blue tells you he wants a divorce. Get someone you can talk to about this. Ministers are always willing to listen and try to help. Is is very painful and you think right now it wont get better but it will. You also never know what will happen. Your husband may think thinks out and decides he has made a mistake. Get your self pulled together by staying busy.
2006-09-01 15:53:02 · answer #7 · answered by unique 2 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a shocking thing to happen to you. My question would be what happened to the communication between you. If you thought everything was good between you then he has not been honest with you. Have you always told each other your feelings? Have you drifted apart in this respect?
Even if you have drifted apart I would have thought he could have had more respect for you than to just walk out in that way. You must be feeling very hurt, confused and lonely right now. I am so sorry for you. Do you have anyone to talk to at all? A friend or colleague, someone you know enough to unload to? It can't be easy keeping it all bottled up! If you want to talk about this feel free to contact me.
2006-09-01 15:59:35 · answer #8 · answered by Mick H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's more to this story.......there can be no way that you could not have known that it was coming. He had to have been making some sort of changes, but maybe your love made you blind. Think about his actions in the last month or so...are you sure there were no signs!?!?
If he wants it and can be as cold hearted as that....he didn't love you like you deserved to be loved anyway. It's hard to move on, but you are going to be better off if you do. I have a feeling that maybe there was someone else in the picture somewhere.
Sorry for your loss, but for everything you lose a new beginning is at hand!
2006-09-01 15:36:06 · answer #9 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Chris--
I also had a friend this happened to. One night her husband of 6 years came home, got sick (apparently the little weasel was stressed out....) & then told her he didn't want to be married anymore. At first, she was devastated, but other friends and I started helping her backtrack- there were some clues. He had been spending WAY too much time and money with his friends, in bars.... And, not much later, she did learn there was another woman.
Go to your friends and family, soak in their strength. And while you are at it, make sure you get a good divorce attorney. I told my friend that I thought her soon-to-be-ex was hiding money from her. HE WAS!
Keep your chin up- things will get better.
2006-09-01 15:50:18 · answer #10 · answered by from HJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This was not out of the blue. I think you missed something somewhere. Try to talk to him. You at least deserve an explanation as to why he no longer wants to be married.
If talking doesn't work, I would suggest relocating to where you have family and friends to support up through the divorce.
2006-09-02 02:45:22 · answer #11 · answered by confused123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋