When I turned 13 I was sidetracked, bad crowd. A night I got home a bit drunk. Dad got angry and spanked me. And I was grounded for a month. Today, 7 months later, I'm the kind of daughter every parent would be proud of, in my parents opinion. My grades are excellent, I have good friends and even take part in some social activities. But I've never got over what dad did to me, what I see as a simple violence. And completely unnecessary, since I was grounded anyway. Since that day I've spoken to dad only what is strictly necessary. My mom helped me when I was grounded, helped me change, but I resent she supports my dad and says he loves me and spanked out of love. Impossible.Now my parents are upset w/ my resentful behavior,But I dont get in trouble, hardly talk to them and I'm polite though distant. I dont bother them, when I need advice I go to someone else.They want me to act like their daughter.That`s hurting me emotionally. Y dont they leave me alone? Want to punish me again?
2006-09-01 15:13:53 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Imagine please being a parent and having all your actions put under the kind of scrutiny you are subjecting your dad to. He is doing his best to raise you, something I am betting is not true of some of your friends' dads. Maybe he thought he was doing the right thing, or maybe he lost his temper but is afraid to apologize lest it make you think you can walk all over him. It is very scary to a responsible, loving parent to see his or her daughter walk out the door with a 'bad crowd' and come home drunk. They know it was just luck you didn't get more hurt than just a spanking, like raped. So they had to make the best quick decision they could make on how to try to prevent this in the future and protect you. Now you are punishing him for being a good dad. When I was 13, if I came home drunk my dad would have been too high to notice...and you have not the slightest clue what it is like to grow up knowing no one gives a damn. You probably think it would be fun...Fortunately, your dad is a real dad, who is willing to be hated temporarily and get his thanks from you later, when you are a mom. Of course it would be REALLY mature of you to give him some love now.
2006-09-01 16:47:03 · answer #1 · answered by z 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i am going through the same thing with my parents only i never came home a little drunk, that was kinda stupid and i stand by his decision to spank and ground you, if i did that i would have been spanked, grounded for 3+ months and had to write 1000+ sentances about hou underage drinking is bad, but anyway. Just give it some time, they will realize that you arent going to rebel again and i know that isnt what you want to hear, its all i hear when i post similar quiestions and it annoys the crap out of me but it really is the truth, your parents will realize that you arent going to rebel anymore and this whole thing will blow over, I am 15 so i know your POV, just dont let this ruin your relationship with your parents, you stuck with them for at least 5 more years.
My advice, just tell them what they want to hear, and be convincing, maybe even act like that for a little while then GRADUALLY pull away from them but dont go crazy and soon enough they will trust you and you will have what you want
Good luck, and if you get any better advice email it to me please, my email is I_dont_know_what_to_say@yahoo.com yea i know, stupid but thats it
2006-09-01 16:15:29 · answer #2 · answered by Bryn H 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Cute name mine uis Shayla but yeah anyway your dad was right for tearing that a** up im 15 and at 13 i got in with the bad crowd to the point where my parents took me out of school and home-schooled me for my 9th grade year im pretty much the wild child in the family the youngest so they say why cant i be more like my older brothers who are just so great at everything but i learned that if my parents werent so hard on me i would probably be dead or sprung out on drugs right now in rehab and that is just unacceptable for a preachers daughter so im glad my parents beat me and there is no reason you should be mad at your dad he loves you and he cares thats why he beat you might be hard to believe but its true he's trying to put fear in you so u wont do it again but then again my dad never beat me he never could do it so he made my mom which spanked me more than 10 times in my life and i love her no diffrent then i could ever love her
2006-09-01 17:11:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You came home DRUNK AT 13 and he spanked you? And YOUR POUTING OVER THAT? HELLO? I would have called the POLICE ON EVERYONE OF YOUR FRIENDS! And whipped your ***.
Stop POUTING, your not even 14 years old and your came home DRUNK, your father did that right thing. You WANT TO SOUND SO GROWN UP, well ACT it. "I'm the kind of daughter every parent would be proud of, in my parents opinion." Umm, NO, YOU'RE NOT! You're a brat, pouty and resentful, GET OVER IT and be an adult! Trust me, your gonna need to learn to eat crow as you get older. Any other dad would have called the Police and wow, you really would have been in hot water with your "friends."
"That's hurting me emotionally." What the hell are you doing to them by YOUR BEHAVIOR? By "punishing your dad" by his loving act towards you? Yes he spanked you, BUT THAT'S ALL HE DID, by the age of 5, I was having regular sex with my Dad you whiny little ***** and you moan about a spanking? Get over yourself, you're LUCKY!
2006-09-01 15:26:12 · answer #4 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you have to smarten up and respect your parents. they have the right to do what they feel is beneficial to you, whatever the consequences or discipline. It is sad that you have cut out your dad - and now that affects your relationship with your mom. You need to be a LOT more grateful for what you have and what they are doing for you. If you would rather go back in time and hang with that rough crowd, feel free I guess. But I think you know it's much better to be serious about school and life, and be happy in the loving home you are so very fortunate to have. Change your tune.
2006-09-01 15:40:06 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How old are you? Girl! Your mom was right. Your dad didn't nothing wrong. Think about it...You did the wrong and you got what you deserved. For you to sit there and treat your mom and dad this way is totally childish and selfish. Let me ask you to think about this. If you continue to behave this way to your parents and they were killed tomorrow, would you be happy with the way things ended for you and your parents? We all have tough lessons to learn in life and it's our parents responsibility to raise us the best that they can so that hopefully there will be some things in life you won't have to go through because they have taught you better and you grow up missing a lot of hard knocks that some kids have to go through simply because they had parents who didn't care enough to punish them when they did something wrong..They had to grow up and learn the hard way all on their own...Some even sit in prison as their punishment of the learning process...Be thankful you have parents that care. Get over it...Stop being selfish and be grateful that you can have a great relationship with your parents....if you'll just let them.
2006-09-01 15:26:59 · answer #6 · answered by Gigi 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
it would be a very silly thing to throw away the support of a parent for a lifetime over one silly thing
what does it matter whether he was wrong or right or justified or not
what does it matter if it was completely unjustified
have you never made a mistake
even if he doesn't believe it was a mistake
even if it wasn't or if it was
don't do this to you or to him
get over it
people have forgiven loved ones (and strangers) for much worse things, and there lives were better for it
it does not help you to treat your father in that distant way
wrong, right, who cares
forgive him
move on
love him
he's trying
if he didn't care he would have done nothing that night
forgive him
let him forgive you
move on
enjoy life
bring your father back in, bring your parents back in
do it for yourself
you know this behaviour is hurting you more than anyone
do it now , forgive, love, add joy to your life and theirs
this isn't giving in, this isn't admitting he was right what he did, this is being mature and making life better for everyone, especially you
love them
they love you
2006-09-01 15:21:44 · answer #7 · answered by enginerd 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is nice hear that family such as yours are still live and intact. Yes, you won't understand harsh actions of your father and that is fine. But know that you are loved very much. It is in this love you should look to take refuge, meaning that your thoughts and actions should arise with awarness of this love. Just to see how it feels, for one day let it all go, the resentment and negativtiy and just be with your parents. See how it feels. You have tremondious power, especially over your parents. Your one smile can make your home heaven. You have the power should you choose to use it.
2006-09-01 15:25:01 · answer #8 · answered by Do_what_thou_wilt 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ok thats cheap
a kid should NEVER be spanked but if thats what parents do fine BUT
a boy should not be spanked after the age of 6 otherwise he may do that in the future like you know abuse to woman or get in fights alot
girls should NEVER be spanked maybe like 3 or four but after that its wrong!
see now i am mad cuz thats not right what your parents did!
2006-09-01 16:34:49 · answer #9 · answered by luellenstar 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He he, it rather is humorous. user-friendly, yet humorous. :) Are you going to enable that scar you for something of your existence? To you, that's uncalled for and humiliating to be spanked at 13. yet, that's hardly a controversy, i do no longer think of it rather harm your bodily that lots -- they in all probability did no longer hit you no longer undemanding sufficient to bruise your backside. So, while you are the style of grown up -- i'm no longer asserting you're no longer -- then you definitely could merely swallow your delight on that and overlook it. perchance you should look at it this way: particular they have been incorrect in spanking you, ought to you come across it on your coronary heart to forgive them? ideas you, they have forgiven you for procuring inebriated -- at an unlawful age, did no longer they? Had you been arrested, that would have meant much greater hardship on your mothers and dads, guess you haven't any longer seen that. you're fortunate to have mothers and dads / relatives who cares., so treasure it. as properly, the rationalization you're asking this question is because you experience you like to take some action. perchance you should chat on your Dad approximately it and notice what he says and additionally clarify to him the way you experience. that's not a combat, purely a communique. that's going to do the two considered one of you good to air out some repressed emotions. starting to be up ability taking the accountability and imitative; and right this is your threat. that's going to be somewhat cake for you.
2016-09-30 06:24:04 · answer #10 · answered by murchison 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋