Yeah my birth mom apparently was 20 years old, never did drugs or drank and got drunk ONE time at a college party. Dont' know who the father was. I'm not sure how I feel about it. But I've always wondered about it. And I found it in a baby book yesterday. I found out the doctor who connected my mom with my real mom (not really they never met it was an anonoymous adoption) died in 2005. So I dunno wut to do. Someone close to me (an adult) is helping me and she found a site for the wife of one of the two pedictricians and sent her an email. But alot of people are saying I should talk to my parents but I don't know if i want to get them into this. Help!
2006-09-01 14:53:16 · 8 answers · asked by Hopeles Romantic 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I am a partent who adopted a child. Although my situation is different than yours (we have a relationship with the biological mom) I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you involved your adopted partents. I know that they will NOT feel hurt and WILL support you in your decision to find your bio mom. You will need their guidence and support as this will be a difficult journey for you. I know the day will come when my child will want to find his bio dad. I will not be hurt or upset. I will do all possible to help him.
Remember your parents are the people that LOVE you. They want you to be fullfilled and understand that this is a hole you must fill.
Gool luck and remember to keep an open mind about your bio mom. It was a difficult decision for her to make an adoption plan for you.
2006-09-01 15:17:28 · answer #1 · answered by sunshineathome74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, always remember that your parents raised you and love you. They will understand that you want to know who your real mom was, all adoptive parents have prepared for that moment from day one. If you talk to them sooner rather than later, they will be much less hurt and can probably provide some information to fill in the gaps.
Your birth mother gave you up for adoption because she knew she couldn't give you the life you needed to have. She also went with an anonymous adoption for a reason; she doesn't want to be tracked down.
Ask yourself why you want to know your birth mother. What kind of relationship you want to have with her? How will your parents feel about you wanting a relationship with your birth mother?
It is natural to wonder. But I honestly don't think knowing her or anything about her will make a difference in your life. She is the woman who gave birth to you; she is not your mother.
But if you really want to know her, talk to your parents so they aren't as hurt. It would be a shame to initiate a possible relationship with your birth mother at the expense of your existing relationship with your parents.
2006-09-01 22:02:42 · answer #2 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My real father was not around me growing up. I had a good step father. I found out when i was 7 that He was not my dad. I was so confused. I met my real dad when I was 14. It was weird. I am 25 now and don't have much of a relationship with him,. I am glad that i ventured out and found him, but it also hs hurt alot of my family. just think what makes you happy.
2006-09-01 21:58:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk this over with your parents, especially if you are under 18. Let them know how your feel about knowing about your roots. If you don't want them to get involved but be supportive, let them know. My parents have let me know that they don't want to me to go looking and I have respected them in this. If I ever do go looking, it will be only for medical information. I am thirty now and do not regret not knowing who my birth parents were and this has strengthen my bond with my "true" parents.
2006-09-01 22:01:04 · answer #4 · answered by sescja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to guard your heart, going in. She really is a stranger who happened to give birth to you. She may be wonderful, and be all that you are dreaming of, but it is unlikely. She loved you enough once to want you to have a full life, and that is quite a special thing, but you still need to have low expectations going in, so you don't get terribly hurt.
2006-09-01 22:14:42 · answer #5 · answered by n_of49p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the oldest story.
Everytime I hear of someone who desperately wants to find their birth parents I cringe.
Most of them are glad they were given up for adoption and wish they had never found their birth parents.
2006-09-01 21:56:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Dose it really mater who gave birth to you it was the person that raised you that is your mom
2006-09-01 21:59:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why go behind your parents back? They would be supportive, Im sure..
2006-09-01 21:55:30 · answer #8 · answered by Katz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋