Are Black Women intimidated by successful, educated African American Men?

Question

Very often we hear Black Women nursing their low self esteem and singing the same old song “Black Men are intimidated by an educated Black Woman”. Actually, I’ve experienced that it’s Black Women who are intimidated by educated, successful African American Men, or they wouldn’t have to constantly remind everyone of something that White, Asian, Indian, Latin and other cultures of women have as well. When ever in a social setting in the presence of Black Women, they are most often quick to inform me how educated they are, and some will even go as far as to tell me how intimidated Black Men are by them. Right away I realize how ghetto these - so common - Black Women are and how low their self esteem. My mother is a professional women with two degrees, so why would I be intimidated by any educated women. Then, when I’m not so competitive to share my level of education and success, many of these ignorant Black Women will tell me that I should not be ashamed, simply and ignorantly assuming that I’m just another uneducated, not-doing-so-well African American guy that they can look down on. But when I correct them and share just some of my minor achievements, these very same ignorant Black Women will neck spasm, buffoon and act silly with embarrassment. Not long after that I’m showered with phone numbers and business cards. I respectfully take the contact info out of good P.R. but I never call them. When some of these women realized that I have achieved and don’t have low self esteem like so many other African American Men they are so used to bashing, then they try to classify me as arrogant, simply because I don’t prefer to hear black male bashing. If I was arrogant, I would not take their contact info and simply tell them that I date White, Asian and other cultures of women.

Alleta, I see things from the perspective of a young African American guy who’s mother taught me a lot of respect and courtesy. But it’s most often my experience that most – not all – but most African American Women sincerely believe that they don’t have to give respect, but believe it’s pertinent that they receive it. I have a few Black Women friends who really like me a lot and they know that they can count on me more than anyone as they have done so in the past, and I never ask or expect anything in return. They say that I’m one of the nicest Black guys they have ever met. They’re only disappointed about me having a White girlfriend. But I respectfully believe that’s not my issue.

But you have taught me how Black Women see themselves in comparison to other cultures of women from a perspective that I wasn’t really aware of. I will take this into account and try to be more sensitive to these issues in the future. Thanks for you insight!

Answer 1

As an african-american woman this is a double edge sword for me. Yes, I am somewhat intimidated by an educated black man because me being educated also is sometimes not enough. Succsessful black men are usually well educated and they seek not only black women, but all women of different ethnic backgrounds, so the competiton is always fierce. As a black woman competing with a brazillian, hispanic or white woman you might always be second best. It dosen't end with him, his mother, friends may not approve of me because of where I come from or the choices I made prior to him. If he out educates me, I am considered a gold digger. If I make more I am a controlling or a *****. Either way we as black women never can win. I am working on trying to be more open minded about this situation, but until I am porven worng.....

Answer 2

Educated Black Men

Answer 3

Take it from an actual American male, American men here are greedy, arrogant, ignorant, self-centered, and self-obsessed assholes who want to dominate everyone not like them. You get this the most from the white men, those privileged elites who have never understood what it's like to be a woman, an African-American, or any other minority group. The white men have ruled America for 300 years and they don't want to give that up. They see the fact that women are making great progress and advancing towards total gender equality as a threat to their exalted position as male overlords. Don't let them fool you with their lies; they don't "love" women, they only love them in the way you "care" for someone by what they can do for you, how you control their lives, and that's true here. They don't think of women as people, but objects, especially since most men here are the most crazy religious fundamentalists on the planet. Not as bad as the ignorant men in Third World countries, but not by much. It's reached the point where I hate American men and I just wanna castrate the whole lot.

Answer 4

I have to tell you , I am so amused when I hear so called educated black men complain about black women being intimidated. Where the heckare you meeting these women? You obviously aren't going where you need to. I can list plenty of double and triple degreed (from ivys and top 10 schools), attractive, single black women, with at least one home, no children and that are financially independent that complain about not being able to find a black man capable of handling their accomplishments. Myself included. Change what you are doing and where you are going if you are that good and think you can handle it. Many educated women are not focused on taking your money--they are fully capable of making their own.

Answer 5

I been blessed to date very successful, educated African American Men, their is no intimidation for me nor my friends about dating an educated man. I wonder who you been dating??????
Why do you continue to ask these race question about black women and black men.... Need to be positive about your race of people.

Answer 6

I don't think the question is about Black Women being intimidated or not .. I think the question is whether you are able to keep your own over-blown ego in check. No one wants to hear about how great you think you are , or have you tell them answers to things they have not asked you. Keep your mouth shut and you will get along much better. Speak when spoken to, and only give an opinion when it is ASKED of you.

Answer 7

That's a great question

Answer 8

Sounds like your stereotyping, its quite alright if you don't prefer black women, but I don't think it has anything to do with there education or as you described----low self-esteem.......just say it, you don't prefer to date women who look like you.

Answer 9

The problem with black men and women in relationships is this competition that they main'tain. "I aint buying that ho sht." "I know that man is messin around but I got him, that's why i messed with his brother." Dont act like I am exaggerating. Black folks need to get over their insecurities and just love each other.

Answer 10

i'd love to date a smart and successful black man (guy/boy...i'm 17).
anyways, I dont think I'd ever be intimidated. i dont want to date some stupid guy that slacks off-that's for sure