I am a gay and have got date with some guys.but I don't know why they just want to have sex with me but not love me.How can I find out if a guy is really love me or not?and how can I protect myself from hurts or prevent this? besides, I'm not a sissy guy, I just a little short,and all of my friends told me that I am a funky guy and is so cute.but why!!!
I don't want to be hurt again and plz help!!!THANX!!!
2006-09-01 14:09:21 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
yehyeh ic, maybe I've got the wrong place to met person.But can u tell me where I can meet person that is not who want to have sex like a animal?
2006-09-01 14:52:09 · update #1
Been there..unfortunatelly you are not the only one having this problem...you see, when you are dealing with male sexuality gay or straight it tends to be the same. Guys tend to look for sex and not for love. Try not to give in at once, date these people for a bit longer without jumbing into bed the very first night, and see what they are looking for and their attitude. My first bf told me that he loved me but all he wanted was sex...Now I have found love and I am with a great person. But we were friends for almost a year.
2006-09-01 14:17:12 · answer #1 · answered by Nostromo 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Except in cases of rape, it takes two to have sex. You can just say "no, I don't have sex until I'm in a real relationship with someone". If the person is interested in you, they'll persue the relationship with the sex.
Don't go out looking specifically for people to date. Instead, get involved in gay organizations, clubs etc. You can volunteer at an AIDS help line, a gay political group like Stonewall Democrats, or join a gay club like martial arts, hiking, sport, or dance. When you join a club you meet a lot of people without an assumption that you are there to date. Then you can develop a friendship that might lead to something more.
2006-09-01 22:06:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Even after you find that one special person who loves you there will be times that you will feel hurt. Instead of dating try just being friends for awhile and get to know one another. Dont be so quick to fall in love either and dont just accept the first guy that comes your way. Finding that special someone sometimes doesnt just happen. It took me 34 years and lots of boyfriends before I found someone that was worth keeping around. If you really look at the guys that have hurt you , you will probably find that you are better off that they didnt stay around. I know everyone wants to have someone to love them and it hurts when we dont but you cant expect someone to love you if you dont love yourself and no matter how bad you might want someone to love you and you love them it doesnt mean that they will feel the same way. Its like looking at a menu and you see something that makes your mouth water and you just have to have it. Then when its sitting there in front of you and you taste it , it really isnt all that you thought it was going to be. It doesnt mean that it isnt any good its just that it isnt what you really thought it would be so you order something else. You hurt because you cant understand why the other person doesnt feel the same way about you as you do for them right? and then you wonder what is wrong with you right? and thats what hurts. Just remember what I said above its not that there is something wrong with you and maybe the guys really wanted to try and be with you but then found that they prefer alittle different. It doesnt make you any less of a person. You will find that special someone who will love you the way you want to be loved dont worry.
2006-09-01 21:49:04 · answer #3 · answered by hersheynrey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww honey. In my personal opinion; everything works out the best when you let things go with their own flow. I have recently jumped into a relationship and we've been for a while now. Before him I was single for about 2 years. I understand that the time without a relationship, but things work better when they come to you. Then you know for a fact that they really want to be with you.
As for a place for a date... A coffee shop sounds like one of the best places to head to. Not up or down; just a place.
Message me... I would like to know how things work out.
-InBlackAndWhite
2006-09-02 00:42:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, guys want to have sex with you so that's a good thing. and as for sex on the first night, well its a personal choice. Who knows what can develop from that, including love. I had sex with my BF on the first night and that was 8 years ago so I speak from experience that not all sex ends up being a one night stand. All you need to do is stop looking for love, and trust that it will find you when you are ready!
2006-09-01 21:22:21 · answer #5 · answered by God 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make the guy that you are looking for more than just a one night trick. If you mention the word relationship abd they don;t run away, you'll find a guy who might actually love you rather then get off on being with you. May have to be intriduced to these people by other people.
2006-09-02 00:28:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really surprised to see some sensitive and genuine answers to this. I guess if you're open, honest and indeed sensitive, people are oblige to respond likewise when there's no one to act tough in front of.
If a guy really loves you, he'll let you know in subtle ways. Perhaps you've just been hanging with the wrong crowd. I know there are lots of sensitive gays out there who aren't all in it for the sex.
2006-09-01 21:55:13 · answer #7 · answered by Link 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To begin, don't have sex as easily as you are. Don't look for guys in bars, look for guys through charities and groups. Go to a gay lesbian community center, be on a pride committee, sing in a chorus, what ever it is. Let people know you are in to long term relationships.
Men are often vain sluts. They often don't realize or don't care that other men are not how they are.
Nevertheless you hold the trump card. It is your body, it is your decision to decide when to have sex and with who. Take control.
2006-09-01 22:56:07 · answer #8 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them right off the bat that you are looking for a serious relationship. Tell them that you want to wait on sex until you get to know each other well. That will be sure to run off most of the guys who only want to hit and run.
2006-09-02 00:00:11 · answer #9 · answered by Q~T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are no guarantees or places where you can find your lover in need. Just remember,if you 're really desperate seeking a decent partner in life with no sex involve,it might take a while. Just be yourself and patience will surely pays off. Never look for one, coz it gives you STRESS . Remember Haste makes Waste. It will come to you, honey,believe.
2006-09-02 10:14:56 · answer #10 · answered by javo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋