I have been with my husband for 7 years and he still has not grown up will it ever happen.?

Question

We have two children ages 5, and 3. He is always out with friends, drinking til all hours of the night. Monday night he plays horseshoes, then goes to a local club and drinks usually til 12:00am, tues. he has football and has to travel an hour to get to practice does not get home til 11:00, thurs. he has football again. friday he plays poker and stays out till whenever he feels like coming home. saturday he has football games. when he is home he plays the PS2 for hours and watches war movies. Does this sound like a man that wants a family? but when I try to talk to him he tells me there is nothing wrong with that that he does not do all that much. I have a hairsalon that I run at my home everyday, I also take care of the home and my kids all day long, then I am also expeected to have the house completely spotless and his dinner on the table when he is ready to eat. He works an 8 hr job everyday then proceeds with everything he does. I ask again does this man want a family???

Answer 1

Probably not...

Answer 2

I Am Messing Around With A 54 Year Old Married Man
And I Am 20 Years Old. I Been Messing Around With Him
Since Last September 2005. He Has A Son Who Is 20 And
He Is My Friend And A Daughter Who Is 17 And His
Daughter Caught Us Having Sex Once Before But She
Did Not Say Nothing To Nobody Because She Has Autistic
And She Has A Mind Of A 6 Year Old. This Married Man
Wants To Leave His Wife And Marry Me... But I Do Not
Know If He Will Leave His Wife Of 21 Years! The Sex
Is Good And He Always Said I Love You To Me All The
Time And I Do Not Know What To Do. But I Love Him!
We Never Use Protection But He Pulls Out And
Ejaculate On My Stomach! We Have Had Sex In Werid
Places! Nobody Knows About This Relationship And He
Plans On Getting A Divorced From His Wife When His
Daughter Turns 18! He Already Asked His Wife For A
Divorce But She Say Things Will Work Out And He Thinks
Things Won't Work Out! This Relationship Between Me
And Him Started When I Went Over There And Fixed His
Computer And I Saw Porn On His Computer And Then I Ask
Him About It On-Line And He Said It Was His And We
Started Messing Around And Other Stuff!!! His Wife
Is Going To Court In September To Gain Full Rights
Over Their Daughter!!!!!

What Would You Do?

Answer 3

He has a family and if you ask him he'll say he has a good life. It sounds like he has everything he wants. As far as grown up He sounds very grown He's doing what He wants, I know no child who has it like him. He has someone responsible taking care of his children his house is spotless and the household is run just fine. Now Here's the deal if you don't like your role in your marriage change it. If you don't want to be the housekeeper anymore and the only sitter for the children change it. You can't hate on him because He is living his life the same way you met him. When you met him he was doing these things and more, right? You still married him. So just you became someone different now You can't now start name calling. Get your joy back and you change. Having a family shouldn't be such a burden isn't this what you wanted him and the kids the only thing missing from your dream is you. You need to find you because even if he stays home ever night you will still feel like he's doing something wrong. If you change everything around you will seen as though it has changed.

Answer 4

Fast forward 10 years, you and your kids are a little older, but he is just as immature. I'm all for couples having outside interests and getting some time outside the home, alone and together, but this is excessive. Time for a talk, and a compromise. He gives up an activity or two during the week, you take some fun class, like ceramics or cake decorating that gets you away too, you find time to do something together, see if things improve. If he's rigid on it, tell him that behind door number two is all the time in the world to do whatever he wants because he will be living alone in a van down by the river. See which choice he goes with.

Answer 5

You married a boy and now you want a man? Ooops. You turned a blind eye to this and now you can no longer look away. The most important thing is to figure out why you wanted a boy. That will lead you to the changes that you need to make to live a better life. It means that you will have the information you need to change. To expect him to change is foolish. To not change your own behavior is also foolish.

Talk to him about what he is willing to do to help around the house. IF he agrees to do anything, tell him thank you and then don't go back and do it when he does not do it. Just say "oh well."

Also, stop worrying about keeping your house spotless and focus more on raising your children in a way that they grow up into full-fledged adults. We don't need another generation of immaturity.

Answer 6

It's highly unlikely he'll change and it's almost never going to happen if you don't say something to him! Point out all the things he's doing and request some time for just the two of you. Maybe once a week you can have a date night that he can't break. Sounds like you need a little attention and maybe he just never noticed. He's just very social it sounds like and I don't find much wrong with a little PS2 between all that other stuff he does, except maybe clubbing. Talk to him first, and if that doesn't work, he just might not change. Then you have to decide what's best for you and your children.

Answer 7

He wants the security of a family, but not the responsibilities.

I'm married over 10 years and have two kids about the same age as yours. I travel quite a bit on business and entertain clients quite often, but its understood and agreed upon that my wife needs breaks too. I go out with my friends on average one night a week and she goes out with her girlfriends at about the same rate. I also am on the board of directors for my homeowners association, which takes at least three nights a month. So, my point is that I'm probably away as often as your husband.

The bigger issue, however, is that he's not giving you the break you need and deserve. On weekends, I am up early with the kids, make them breakfast, go for bike rides, do homework, etc. My wife is off duty on Saturday and the kids LOVE the attention from daddy. I drive my six year old to school once a week so my wife can sleep in that one morning. I take 15 minutes to make the kids breakfast almost every day, even though I have to leave for the office most mornings by 7:30 AM or earlier. I'm no martyr, but my point is that you are looking for the legitimate partnership you signed up for when you got married. It doesn't sound like you're getting it.

As painful as it is, you're approaching time to exit stage left. The good news - it doesn't sound like he's doing anything to benefit you or the kids anyhow, beyond possibly some income, so you're losing nothing and have your life in front of you to find someone who really wants to be married.

Good luck in your decisions.

Answer 8

Your husband has found his comfort zone. You need to find yourself. Everything is revolved around him.If possible, take the kids to the grandparents, or a trusting friend. Take a 2 week vacation from him, but not your work. You say you tell him of the "problem" let me guess, he just says mmmhmm. He has chosen nit to be in tune with you or his kids. A man who spends that much time away from home, is purposely avoiding responsibility at home. I beleive he does so, to prove to you who wears the pants in the family. As each time he acts like that, it is an indication as to where he really wants to be. The more you allow him to treat you like a servant, the less likely he is to grow up. You meed to go on a "strike". Lesve for a mini vacation from his uncaring attitude. Whatever you may choose to do, stay, or take a break and remove yourself from the situation, I wish you luck. Men as such have the belief that we are their slaves and expect us to be on call 24-7. You are not a show case doll only taken down from a shelf when becoming dusty or to show off . He is selfish and disrespectful. Make a stand for yourself!!!!

Answer 9

He doesn't sound like a family man, he sounds like a self-involved frat boy that doesn't have it together yet.
His behaviour is childish and will cause problems if he doesn't change. As a husband and father he has responsibilities that he's shirking right now. It's unfair to you and your children.
Don't despair though, he has the ability to be a good father and husband, he just needs to get his priorities straight, and to grow up a bit. The kids are at an age when their first memories about their relationship with their dad are going to stick. So far he's looking at dealing with "you weren't there for me" .

Answer 10

I was married to a man like yours when I was younger. He would go out to clubs, hang out with friends, play "Sega" that was the thing at the time. The only time I really saw him was at the dinner table and in bed. That is why I was only married to him for 2 years. It sounds like your husband wants a family but doesn't want to do the work involved in a family. He wants all the benefits, but doesn't want to deal with the day to day activities of you and your kids. Do you think he could be unhappy with the marriage and is using all these excuses to be 'out of the house?'
Sit down and talk to him.
Good Luck!

Answer 11

Sorry to say this but I doubt hubby will ever grow up unless you make him. Stop being his doormat. Have his dinner ready when he normally gets home, but heres a twist. Meet him on the way out the door. Tell him you're going out and he has the kids tonight. Hubby needs a wake up call bigtime. He needs a real big dose of reality. If you don't force the issue. You're in for alot more of the same from him. . . good luck!