I'm asking because my g/friend (serious, in love, talking of marriage, happy to have kids together) since Feb has an Ex (he's a good friend, she's been married, given birth, & divorced since) staying at her flat tonight. Am I worrying about nothing? I'm sure he IS sleeping on the sofa AND she did ask me if it was Ok for him to stay over on his way to see his father.
Just wanted to get this off my chest and see other people's thoughts!
If it matters: She's 30, I'm 42.
2006-09-01 13:24:43 · 16 answers · asked by fruitbat7711 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I wouldn't worry about it since she told you and she's been with you long enough to not want to hurt you. You know your gf and you know that you can trust her. If you feel that there is something to worry about, then do something about it now before she can do something to betray that trust.
I'd only worry about it if she didnt tell you and you found out later that she spent the night. Let her know that you trust her because trust is SOOOO important in a lasting relationship.
2006-09-01 13:29:19 · answer #1 · answered by Mandy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I haven't had a huge number of boyfriends, but the ones I started as friends with will always remain my friends. I would give her the benefit of the doubt as I would gladly take a few ex's in without a single bit of feelings towards them (and I've been with my husband 10+ yrs). The fact she asked you was a great sign. I'm just wondering why you feel this way. A good relationship has no doubts. Jealously a bit is normal, but if you have been open and honest from the get-go.... rest easy. :)
2006-09-01 13:35:37 · answer #2 · answered by happymonkie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wouldnt be human or in love with her you if felt nothing mate. As long as your sure its got nothing to do with games (the vibe im getting from your question says NO GAMES!)
All you can do is give your GF your trust,Its one of the most precious things things you can give. its hers to keep / treasure and take care of. Everything else is beyond your control.
If your feeling it then tell her! Its real for you and im sure shed feel flattered if your strong enough to show you feel a little something.
The fact she asked you if its ok says a lot too :)
Id like to see the boot put on the other foot for this question.. ie Girls.... how would you feel if your mans ex yada yada yada...
:)
Edit:- good question btw!
2006-09-01 13:49:17 · answer #3 · answered by no-one special 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I"m great friends with one of my exs I introduced my husband to him so he didn't see him as a threat and they are now great friend its the way you go about things see if its all done in secrets then it would be hard but if you are open about it there should be no problems if you guys are strong then an ex will always be an ex and nothing more. the more one makes of it the harder the other takes it.
2006-09-01 13:37:07 · answer #4 · answered by sweety yhi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very friendly still with my x and would help him out if I could , as long as you know him well and that you have all been in each others company your instincts will let you know if he really is on the sofa, as long as there as been no flirting or anything going on I think you should trust her and as you said she never hid it from you , she did ask if you didnt mind , It seems to be all innocent to me .
2006-09-01 14:03:14 · answer #5 · answered by bonniebella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
72D - Cool answer thanks. I was in similar & I want to be in a place wher I'm cool with her seeing old friends. After all, what's gonna happen if I never let her see her friends (ex or not) & I never see mine?
I've had girls stay over on the sofa b4 now, it's cool!
The ones who stay in my bed are always different & always special!
2006-09-01 14:17:55 · answer #6 · answered by Gazza Bear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very friendly with my ex.
We have kids together & it has to be friendly because of that but I think we would still be friends anyway. We began as good friends, hen lovers & now good friends again.
Trust her & never mind what anyone else thinks.
2006-09-01 20:19:09 · answer #7 · answered by monkeyface 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HELL NO! this is not an acceptable request from your gf....(now is this guy the one she was married to and had a baby with??) also, can this guy not afford a motel??? i mean, they are only like 19.99-29.99 and that is for a bargain basement type...some new hotels are very nice and only 39.99-49.99 a night...so there is no reason that she asked him to stay there (or offered)
you my friend are very trusting...so hopefully she has shown you that you can trust her... my main question...what is their prior relationship like (how long, married, kids etc..and when) and why not a hotel?
2006-09-01 13:33:55 · answer #8 · answered by derek s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 32 and to be honest and ex is an ex for a reason so NOT friendly at all.
2006-09-01 13:28:36 · answer #9 · answered by mimi 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you're that worried, stay over with her, meet the ex. See them together. You'll be able to see any chemistry.
2006-09-05 13:00:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋