Guilty Because I'm Happy?

Question

Many people have told me that I'm a very depressive and broody person, but, I can't help it; I've always been like this. My question is: how can I be happy person? Anytime I experience any kind of joy I feel guilty because though it might a joyous occasion, I know that there are people out there in the world who are just plain miserable and are going through hardships I will never experience. It makes me feel like I don't deserve this happiness since I have lived such a fortunate life. How can I be and stay happy without having feelings of guilt, or it is even possible? I really would appreciate some good answers please. ~a distraught 17 year old girl~

Medication? Pffft. I spit on your shoes. :-)

Religion has nothing to with what I'm experiencing mister irishboop. And you do not have the right to judge me by the question I posted; you do not know me.

If you don't believe me, why bother answering Micheal M? You're not getting best answer btw. >:-]

Yeah, I think I'm just too embarassed or maybe even stubborn to ask for professional help. And I do feel the need to do something positive with my life. It's just that sometimes I feel so hopeless and useless and I feel that my age, my lack of knowledge and experience keeps holding me back from achieving the many things I want to accomplish in life.

Answer 1

People are TELLING YOU about YOU? Who's the expert here? YOU are! Why are you listening to what others say about their OPINION and PERSPECTIVE?? ONLY you know what is in your heart.

Have you ever heard the saying about not to tell a person who they are or what they feel or they will LIVE UP TO IT? Never call your child a BRAT, or they will try to be one.

You can take your wonderful, YES WONDERFUL, feelings of care and concern for others and make it work for you. You want to enjoy your joy? Then make a change in another 's life. Do good deeds, help others, be kind. Never underestimate the power of ONE and ONE act of kindness. Maybe what you are really feeling is the URGE to ACT upon what is bothering you. YOU are going to be a person who cares about OTHERS.

Don't let you friends scare you every time you have a deep and serious thought. Just follow your instinct. Change someone's life even if for a second. A smile, a visit with older neighbors, a kind deed. This is how you change the world starting in YOUR own little corner and working out from there. You have the makings of a "Mother Teresa" if you want.

Answer 2

It's important to remember that there is always suffering in the world and there's no way that your being happy or unhappy will effect this. I don't mean this to sound harsh, it's just a fact. :) And yes, it is possible to feel happiness without feeling guilty.

But on the other hand I think your feelings of guilt are associated with your depression and it sounds like you need some help for that. Depression is very treatable so go see your doctor and see about getting a proper diagnosis and counseling. For some reason you don't feel worthy of experiencing happiness and this is very sad. You should be getting more out of your life right now and experiencing new and exciting things.

It's okay to feel a little bad about harsh things that are happening in the world (this shows that you care about others) but if you let it keep you from feeling happy about your life then it's a problem.
It's also okay to feel happy and grateful for the good parts in your life. Once you start getting help for your depression I really think you'll begin to feel more balanced in your life.

Good luck to you and take care.

Answer 3

You are expressing symptoms of depression--feeling guilty when experiencing pleasure is specific to depression, and depression is a very treatable condition. Others' peoples miseries or happinesses have nothing to do with your condition.

You have every right to be happy, and you can do so; but it will take some work on your part. If you're not open to medication (and I gather from your other responses that you're not), then consider either short-term cognitive therapy or read some books by some famous cognitive therapists: research shows that cognitive therapy is quite effective with depression (high success rate).

I recommend David Burn's "The Feeling Good Handbook". Research has also shown that depressive symptoms are relieved as a result of working through the handbook. It will teach you different ways to think, and consequently, lead to different perceptions which then leads to happier moods.

You do have to work through the book in order for it to be effective, though, and that is often a challenge to people who are depressed. So, make your goal to do one exercise per day or some other timeline that seems workable to you.

All the best to you.

Answer 4

Were you by any chance brought up Catholic? Guilt is usually a pre-requisite to be a "good Catholic" Live life to the fullest. You deserve it. Never allow anothers misfortunes interpret the outcome of your life. If you were doown & out, and filled with misfortune, would you wish that others would deprive themselves of everything joyous just to experience your grief? I hope not. Keep your head up...And stop being such a martyr.

Answer 5

You should talk to a counselor. You have every right to be happy without regret. You can't do anything about other peoples' miseries nor can you make them happy. You can only live your own life and be happy doing it.

Answer 6

I don't believe you, but I'll answer anyway.

It's OK to be happy while other people are suffering. Only cruel people want to share their pain with others. Happiness isn't something that you deserve or undeserve, it's something that we want to obtain because we are built that way.

Answer 7

you cannot feel guilt unless you accept guilt

Answer 8

jerry l is correct. my answer/recommendation? medication.