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My husband is an alcoholic. I am horribly, desperately depressed and feel like I need some sort of outside emotional support. I do not believe that alcohlism is a disease, but I know that AA preaches that concept. If I were to attend Alanon, would it still be beneficial for me or will I just leave there pi**sed off?

2006-09-01 12:44:12 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

Bullsh*t Secondsamuel. Bull-*******sh*t! You want to know what I believe? The site Sunshine recommended is dead on and I visited their site many times before today. And I'm a part of his supposed "disease"? LOLOLOLOLOLOL. Right. I dare you to come live in my home and tell me that again. Here's what Rational Recovery has to say (I believe)... "Most importantly, remember there is nothing wrong with your spouse or other loved one besides chemically-enhanced stupidity. Addiction is not a family disease. Family members are not responsible for anyone else‘s drinking, nor are they responsible for anyone else‘s abstinence. Addiction is the ultimate self-indulgence, and no marriage can survive addiction. Addiction is more a betrayal of marital vows than adultery, because the pleasure of addiction exceeds the pleasure of the biological bond between a man and a woman. Marital sexual love is replaced by a stronger desire to get high with alcohol and other drugs."

2006-09-01 14:17:50 · update #1

In the details I added, I meant to say ("and I believe"), not ("I believe").

2006-09-01 14:19:27 · update #2

14 answers

One thing you might want to check into is Rational Recovery....They kind of take the same view as you do. I really appreciated what they had to say....However, yes, I do think Alanon will be beneficial. But one thing that really helped me to understand was attending an actualy AA meeting... It helps to put into perspective what your husband may be going through. You do not attend a meeting with your husband. Go on your own...
Check out the Rational Recovery website though...www.rational.org
they put out a book called the Small Book
PS Sweet, I totally agree, and thats why more people get clean and sober when they get real with Rational Recovery.... AA can enable and thats why they have an 85%failure rating

2006-09-01 12:57:34 · answer #1 · answered by Sunshine 4 · 0 0

Do you actually think a kid is going say when I grow up I want to be an alcoholic. No! It is a disease, its an allergy that they have. I am not an alcoholic but my husband is a recovering alcoholic. I tried going to Alanon and felt like it had its good and its bad things about it. Just try it,it cannot hurt.

2006-09-01 12:52:35 · answer #2 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0 0

To "Q & a guy": Your argument isn't very valid. while a woman has conceived a newborn, the toddler, of course, isn't in the present day totally grown. It starts off as a fetus with out all the actual structures which you will possibly see in a human. additionally, even while the youngster is born, it keeps to develop. the youngster even finally ends up with extra bones than it as quickly as had; specific purposes of an toddler's ideas get weaker as they become older too because of the fact they finally end up being out of date. As we develop, our cells continuously multiply inflicting us to get extra effective in length, so the theory that all of us began from a single celled organism isn't too far fetched. to no longer point out, numerous microorganisms that reason ailment evolve as our medicine gets extra progressed. that's all with regard to the organism adapting so as that that's in basic terms before the sport and insure the continuation of the species. EDIT: yet another element that I forgot to show is that our "layout" isn't even faultless. we are vulnerable to mutations and ailments. additionally some aspects of the physique are not fairly needed; there are some issues that our bodies won't be able to of course recover from besides. Now to the question: the only portion of the 'God concept' that looks actual looking is the "enable there be mild" element. perhaps this became in all risk the enormous bang. perhaps this universe became created by risk by ability of a few smart beings or some organic occurring phenomenon. possibly it will take place back. the assumption of an all-powerful being has in basic terms progressed with mankind over the years to describe what could no longer be defined. Even now as quickly as we can't clarify some thing we associate it with issues that we are already familiar with.

2016-11-06 06:12:57 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Keep an open mind if you haven't gone yet. No one preaches to you at Al-Anon. They just offer support and you'd be surprised how many others have stories similar to yours. You are "horribly depressed" and need some support somewhere. Start there. Ask for referrals if that doesn't work. You'll make yourself sick or worse, constantly dwelling on his behavior, while he plows merrily along with his bottle. I know. I just separated from my alcoholic husband of 6 miserable years..

2006-09-01 21:20:22 · answer #4 · answered by watergirl54 2 · 0 0

I don't necessarily think it is a disease, but I do believe it is an addictive drug just like cigarettes. I do believe that tolerance to addictive drugs are hereditary. I could be wrong.. but is what I think.. I think you need to attend an alanon meeting and decide for yourself if it is for you. I don't think it is the answer for everybody.. but it certainly has its place. I think you should attend at least one meeting and see if it is something that you will benefit from.... only you will know that answer.

2006-09-01 12:58:51 · answer #5 · answered by tootsie38 4 · 0 0

Yes because you would learn that it is a decease and that you are just as much apart of it as he is.If you don't want to here the truth about alcoholism and the part you play in enabling him,you will get pissed and walk out.But if you really want to know the truth,you will stay and take notes.

2006-09-01 13:31:00 · answer #6 · answered by Willnotlietoyou 5 · 0 0

Everyone can use a 12 step program. Go there with an open mind and heart. Hopefully you will find some help and solace.

2006-09-01 12:47:05 · answer #7 · answered by zia269 3 · 0 0

well if you went you would learn the reasons why they are the way they are. my dad was an alcoholic and i thought the same as you. well he died from the disease at the age of 46. and it was not a pretty death. if you need a friend to talk to imme at michelledd382000@yahoo

2006-09-01 12:48:37 · answer #8 · answered by michelle 5 · 0 0

Hi need to talk to someone about this. I am willing to listen.You can e-mail me pjs22257@yahoo.com.
I know where your coming from,Although I dont live with an alcoholic anymore,I have been there done that. So I understand.

2006-09-01 12:50:58 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

I think support of any kind is better than none.
I don't buy it either if it is any help.
Alcoholics choose to drink.
The poor child with luekemia did not choose his fate. Now that is a disease.

2006-09-01 12:49:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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