My mother says she hates me but still wants to see my kids, what would you do?

Question

I've known all my life that my mother didn't like me basically because I was born but I never thought she would go to the extent to telling my 3 young kids that (all 3 under the age of 11). Now, I refuse to let my kids around her. This is a woman that has given birth to 5 children and only has 1 left that will even talk to her. She has no remorse whatsoever on throwing away her own 4 children. She tells me to get over it and to stay out of her life. Now she wants to take me to court for grandparents rights, how well do you think that would go over with the judge? Would it be stupid of me to let my kids around her knowing that there could be a chance that the same thing could happen to them? Your opinions would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

Yikes. I hope that I am okay in saying that your mother is quite a selfish person, I'm sorry it has to be that way. Not only is this hard on you, it's hard on your children-what are they suposed to think? Grandparents can have almost as much influence on young minds as parents, I would be leary of the message she could give your children-not only concerning you-but people in general. She just dosen't sound very...loving. an Aspect that everyone needs, especially children.

Geesh. What a hard choice for you to make..but I would consider taking her to court, perhaps the judge will reccomend counseling?
Something your mother needs greatly. Until then try as best you can to explain it to your children what would be going on and why. ( buffer it up considerably of course )

You may have already heard or felt all these things already but I hope I helped.

Best of luck.

Answer 2

A judge will usually do what's best for the children, and if what you say is true, I seriously doubt that judge will give her anything. If she goes through the trouble of taking you to court......which is HIGHLY unlikely because it would be VERY expensive.......then you simply get a lawyer. A judge will usually give grandparents rights when they have been a big part of the children's life and when it would be harmful to take the grandparents away from the children. This is not the case with you.
And when it boils down to it........she is most likely using the "court" thing as an empty threat to get you scared enough to do what she wants. You just do what you're doing, keep her away from them, and dont' worry. D on't give in to that crazy woman or she will ruin them. And in the meantime, if you think she's crazy enough to go to court, then keep track of everything she says and does, and also start writing down some of the things she's done in the past to her........just in case you need some information against her. Plus, you obviously have siblings who are in the same boat as you so I'm certain they would be good evidence against her. But like I said, court is expensive and she's just trying to scare you. Call a lawyer and get a free consultation and tell him your situation........I'm sure that lawyer will make you feel alot more secure.

Answer 3

My mother went through the same thing kind of. My grandmother has 3 daughters, and she would always pin one against the other. She favors my aunt right now, along with her 2 children. There are only 3 grandkids in all, but she sees my cousins more than me, and I live 5 mins from her, while they live an hour away. I'm sure that if you present your side of the story, and if you have your siblings there to back it up, then if your mother gets visitation rights, they would be minimum. Good luck with it all!!!

Answer 4

I'm sorry about that , but try to keep in-touch with ur mother ( not for a long time ) and try to won her heart ( she is old one so you can won ) she need something like some care and try to do whatever she wants ( away from the kids , they are under age ) .

she couldn't do anything in the court I think

you must tell ur kids not to hear from their grandparents because she is old .

Try this & if it is not working leave her ( she abslute needs something try to know it & find it out )

Answer 5

She has damaged nearly all of her own children, what makes anyone think she's capable of loving someone else's! She's clearly unfit. She needs help. There's no way a judge would grant her visitation, if the judge knew of her background (make sure the judge is fully aware!). I'm sure your other siblings would testify... And at the very minimal, the visitation should be supervised by YOU, so that she doesn't cause emotional damage to your children.

Answer 6

Ordinarily I would say that the more love kids get from lots of people the better. But in this case I would keep my kids away from a woman who is so full of hate. She needs therapy badly. No judge will grant her the right to see those kids unless she makes some drastic changes.

Answer 7

Some States up hole the Grandparents law, just wait and see if she goes through with it, or you may want to talk to a lawyer,
Some Grandparents make up, all the the thing, they did not do with their children, But as soon as your children is old enough, I would sit them down and tell them, about how you grow up, and you love them, and only want to protect them.

Answer 8

I don't think it would be a good idea to allow your children to be influenced by your mother in any way. A grandmother should be a good role model for your children, show love, be supportive of you and treat you with respect. Clearly, that is not the case and you have every right to keep your children away from her. I think she would be making a fool of herself is she took you to court. I would cut myself off from her completely.

Answer 9

I say cut her off!!!!!!! I had a mother like that who has alienated all 3 of her children, and I cut her off 10 1/2 years ago including seeing my kids who are not 13 and 16. They don't need her hegativity, and neither do your kids. You will be better off without such a negative person in your life. Good luck!

Answer 10

I understand were u are coming from.Even though she is ur mother I would set down some laws regarding ur kids.If she can not keep her mouth shut to ur children than tell her that she will not be able to see her grand children.U have to have a life for ur self and ur children.There is not a judge out there that would give her grand parents rights.My sister went thru that with her daughter and my sister was not like yours. I am so sorry that you and ur children have to listen to the crap that she is dishing out.