Is it rude to suck the face off Jehovahs who knock on my door at sunrise?

Answer 1

My Darling and Dazzling Not-Quite Departed Princess, Bearer of the Sacred Peachfish;

It is only improper if you have a festering herpes sore that is not quite open. If that is the case, pinch it until it erupts, and then suck away freely. You shall not be bothered by the likes of them ever again, unless they have a rather pronounced pus fetish.

I, too, was awakened on this early weekend morn, first by crackhead neighbors fighting over who gets to suck down the last remnants of imaginary Pipe residue, and then the following.

I went to bed two days ago to take a five-minute nap for next Thursday because that would have been me last chance to sleep until next Easter, but, alas, I am squandering that time to write to you now. I almost had a few seconds left to snooze, but wouldn’t you bloody well know it, right then a phone solicitor from Sprint called to let me know about their new savings plan that changes me current thousand minutes a month at a nickel a minute to eleven hundred minutes a month at a dime a minute, thereby saving the aforementioned Sprint sixty dollars a month, which will then be passed down to me slowly by way of Trickle-Down Osmosis sometime around the Rapture, so I told them the same thing I told Ronald Reagan, which is that, “I suppose you’re bloody well telling me that if Eddie Izzard takes a p!ss in the heart of the Bonneville Salt Flats, eventually it will trickle out somewhere in Outer Mongolia,” (which is now, by a Divine Twist of Fate, me very fiefdom,) “and I assure you, Mr. Reagan, that I have been keeping a finely-trained eye upon that very spot, and I still haven’t seen any bloomin’ Izzard p!ss but I will wait patiently, and, if and when it occurs, I will bottle it up like the finest Perrier, send it to you personally aboard the Concorde, and once again I shall vote for a bloody Republican.”

Just as I terminated the connection to Sprint, me doorbell rang. I hurled meself down the stairs, and there was a bleedin’ Mormon and a Jehovah’s witness fighting to the death on me threshold over who was going to have dibs on me soul. They were each offering me Trickle-Down Salvation, so I gave them the same speech. The Mormon won, and, in yet another Fluke of Cosmic Proportions, he informed me that yes, indeed, he had personally witnessed Eddie Izzard p!ssing in Utah’s Bonneville Salt Flats on Earth Day, 1981, but his Buddhist counterpart in Outer (or is it Inner?) Mongolia has yet to report any inkling of the reappearance of the p!ss in question. Feeling that I could salvage a few microseconds of slumber, I quickly dispatched the Mormon to a nearby residence when I was immediately assailed by four-thousand watts of subwoofer pumping out Snoop Doggy Dog and the simultaneous ringing of me rather elaborate atomic alarm clock. Nine hours’ sleep out of a hundred-and-nine... you make me want to puke, yer so lucky, ye are, I wish I could sleep nine hours out of a hundred-and-nine... I’d be so rested I’d chew off Mike Tyson’s ears, punch Craig David to a bloody pulp, and still have enough energy to build me a bleedin’ Pyramid before breakfast, I would.

Answer 2

As a follower of Jehovah, all of us understand that the demons are powerful spirit creatures over which we've no actual administration. the potential to fasten one in a closet isn't some thing that's obtainable, as a demon is a powerful spirit creature, no longer a stray domestic dog. absolutely everyone thinking that they might administration the demons is heavily deluded. you have a extra helpful risk of locking a twister up on your rings field. Its no longer likely to take place. Sorry while you're upset!

Answer 3

What did Jesus do during his entire life? He went door to door, preaching the news of the Kingdom to come. And what did he tell his disciples to do? To preach throughout the nations, just as He himself did. Now, if you don't believe in Jesus, or God for that matter, than by all means, suck the face off any Witness of God that may come to your door. Your life, your decision to believe whatever you want to believe.
Ahh. I'm glad that I trade minutes a week for eternity. Pretty good deal in my book. Of course, if what I'm studying with Jehova's Witnesses is false, then won't I just go to the same place you are? Course, if learning how to do things right in life doesn't contribute to happiness, then what does? And if God isn't willing to be merciful upon me, then why does everyone call him a loving and "merciful" God? Oh well. I just like the win-win situation as opposed to a win-lose situation.

Answer 4

I've seen a lot of J. Witnesses at my door, but none were ever rude enough to come at dawn. I'd say that's almost enough to give you license to cannibalize them. Their proselytizing is annoying, but most are very nice people. A few came to my dog training classes and didn't harass anyone about their religious beliefs.

Answer 5

You don't need to such their faces. Just show them your Bible and they run like graczy
That's what I did once a while ago. Never been bothered by them since.

Answer 6

Oh come on! Sucking face is NEVER RUDE! What the ****!

Answer 7

tell them youre not interested....ive never seen them come that early but i say Im methodist and born again and have a good day I havent seen them in years cuz Ive been working...It says in the Bible do not go door to door!! they should run ads and be normal

Answer 8

Not as long as you're both female and I get to watch

Answer 9

Nope. Just don't mess up their clothes.

Answer 10

No, no it isn't. Not at all. As a matter of fact, they expect it.