My own dad died around 20yrs ago, so I went 2 visit my gran as she brought me up wen my mam was in hospital she ad a few n break dwns. I could nvr tel my gran what her son ad done to me as it wood of broke her heart. So I put it to the bk of my mind 4ever. While on this visit 2my grans after her son ad died , I was raped by her other son, I was drunk and ad taken a sleepin tab that eve,I thought I was havin a nitemare as the sleep tab was very strong , but in the morn I new I ad been raped , I avoided my uncle the nxt day & told my gran I was goin to look 4a old skol friend,I arrived bk at my grans late that eve we ad a chat & I went 2bed but this nite I did not take my sleepin tab and it was,nt lng b4 my uncle came in2 my bedrm lookin for in my head to rape me again, I jumped up & ran in2 my grans bed, she thought later I found out that I needed comfort frm the death of my dad as wel as her.How could I tel her what had happened it wood of killed her.My uncle took me home we nvr spoke
2006-09-01 11:36:53 · 17 answers · asked by bonniebella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
on the hr ish lng journey bk to my local town where I met my partner at the time I said nothing to him. the only thing that was said in the car journey home was ,that he was sorry he was drunk and I said just shut up and looked out of the window nearing my end of journey I told him to drop me off , slammed the car dr and nvr looked bk at the car , I met my partner and had a gd few drinks , that nite I brok my heart, my gran was really old i decided wen she passed away I wood tell sm1 and I did my eldest brother, but I did,nt want to say what my uncle d done to me as it wood of broken his sisters hearts my aunties. How could I put this on top of their mothers death, I just could.nt as they are lovely ladies. I am stuck for a decision what to do now as time as passed they have grieved their mam , but another uncle died that was another brother they had to grieve , I wood nvr get the chance to tell all , now I need to as the uncle that raped me as had the trust of his sis 2 share the cash
2006-09-01 11:48:36 · update #1
out of the assets fof his now dead brothers house and savings.Not going in 2to much names but after he bought the lease and funeral expensives for his brother whom was a bachalor. he gave each sister their cut of what money was left and a aunt said that all of the grandchildren should have £300 each which I and my brothers have had , but he gave his own children not the same amount as the aunties had agreed to. He gave his daughter £50 1 son £30 as he was working and the other son £30 as he is an alchoholic and he said e wood only drink it , why did he not give them the same amount as every other grandchild had , he is satans son thats why to rob his own kids. greed. So that is the reason behind taking him on as his 3 children dont talk to him as things went on in their lives wen they wer little too. I think he thinks he can do and say what he wants and no1 will go against him , this has made me hate him even more for what he has done to my 3 cousins , robbed them of their inheritence
2006-09-01 11:59:17 · update #2
I think I sjhould have a chat with my dear uncle about what he done to me 20yrs ago and what he did to his children ,my cousins, and how as he got the nerve to still cause his family humiliation and steal off his own flesh and blood. Any one got any advise for me , should I see a solicitor or leave sleeping dogs lie, and let him drink himself to death on whiskey . thank you for reading my dilemma .
2006-09-01 12:03:59 · update #3
I forgot to ad the 1st son that abused me ntil I was 9yrs old was my own father that i had blocked out for all the years that i grew up. I some how forgot that my father had done any thing to me as there was no sex , I put that memory in a little box in the back of my memory. That is why I was at my grans as she was grieving my father , thats when my uncle struck when I was all messed up and on a real low , so two of my grans sons ad hurt me I just could not hurt her , what wood I of gained by telling her . she died a the age of 96 thats why this sexcret as not been mentioned untill now and the rat of a un cle robbing my cousins , and now as the years go by and I am older I have grown to hate my dead father , but I cant do nothing to him but I can my uncle , I want him to give his kids what is thiers.
2006-09-01 12:24:38 · update #4
yes you can go to the police!!!!
he may have done it before so he could already be on police record!!!
also even if he cant now be prosecuted at least your report will stay on file forever so if he does it again your statement can help the next victim and you would be contacted by police and probably be able to help this girl cos with both of your allegations it would be more likely to find him guilty.
lastly going to the police will help you and maybe be like a weight lifted finally. it will be one of the hardest things you have ever done but you need to do this for YOU.
also speak to your local rape crisis line, they are very caring and understanding and easy to talk to, they will put no preasure on you and let you say what your ready to in your own time. often they can arrange to meet in person for chats as well as over the phone, they can give you all the info on rape so you can make an understanding of it and they will be there for you to talk things through so you can process it and eventually get over the trauma of it, they will also help you through court cases if it came to that.
speak to the rape crises line asap and tell them this and that you are thinking of reporting it, then if you do feel strong enough and that its what you want to do then contact police.
try and find someone close to you who you can share this with cos they should also be able to help you through this.
2006-09-04 01:57:29 · answer #1 · answered by sasha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That was odd.. Why you waited 20 years ago before you think about this. Your uncle probably will think you wanted some money. I feel you, but you know in the justice, with out enough evidence the victim is always the looser. That is the problem now, that's why there is a lot of rape victim cannot have their justice because they waited for along time to voice out. Then the predator are wALKING AROUND AND STILL LOOKING FOR THE VICTIM. Call the abuse hot line, report your case to the police, be strong and stand for it. You start, and be sure you can do it. Lock him up...
2006-09-01 18:54:01 · answer #2 · answered by marilou a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YESYESYES debbie,do it!Even if you get nowhere with this(very possible)the rest of the family will no-longer see him as a family member(probably hate him even more than they do already)AND he will be under the police spotlight(thats ALWAYS good for a towrag!)It is not much comfort to you i know,but you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you actually DID something about what happend to you,albeit 20 odd years down the line-oh yes,please spk to someone too,it will help!!
2006-09-01 19:36:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends which state you live in. If you want to pursue it you'll need to speak with an attorney. I would advise that since there's no evidence the likelyhood of conviction is small. But telling everyone in your family would help prevent him from doing that to anyone else as easily.
2006-09-01 18:44:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really feel sorry for you, you have been thro. a lot, you can still go to the police, however you do need help, counselling probably am suprised you have not broken down before now you must be very strong, i do hope you can sort yourself out, i will definatly pray for you love and god bless you.
2006-09-02 06:27:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough one. Since you are now a adult, and do not want to hurt your granny. I recomend this. Write down everything yoiu have just said, take it to him, and inform him that if he ever comes near you, Or ANY female not of his own age, you will make two copies, one for your granny, and one for the police.
2006-09-01 18:44:31 · answer #6 · answered by Common Sense 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you're really brave to have carried this burden for so long without telling anyone. i'm afraid i haven't a clue what the best course of action is but i want you to know that i admire you for being so strong for so long and i'm sorry you've been through all this.
2006-09-04 06:10:01 · answer #7 · answered by sdfsgsdhyj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him up in court? As far as I know you didn't tell anyone at the time, its to late now to take DNA. You really have no proof except your own word. I would guess that you really don't have a chance, but I would go to councelling.
Good Luck.
2006-09-01 18:43:25 · answer #8 · answered by bartathalon 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes you can be Strong and send the bastard to hell? don't hold back he deserves all he has coming i just wish you could of been a little stronger in your mind when it happened bless you you've carried that cross a long time.
2006-09-01 18:45:57 · answer #9 · answered by Deano™ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can go and report this, but they will drag it out like forever. and nothing will become of it. i do believe you need counciling to help you deal with this situation...but i will say this, God will do more to those who hurt you than the justice system. and the hardest thing is..you gotta forgive those who hurt you.
God has the final say.....goodluck and God Bless you..
2006-09-02 10:07:51 · answer #10 · answered by justmenothinelse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋