well i read somewhere that: LOVE ISNT TO CHANGE A PERSON. BUT TO SEE AN IMPERFECT PERSON PERFECTLY. I admit im not perfect but he picks on me for it cause he thinks its funny. hes tubbier than me so i dont know what hes on about. my question is LADIES have you ever had a man question your size and if so how the hell do you shut them up?
2006-09-01 10:56:01 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
a good smack in the teeth mite help
2006-09-01 11:25:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I think he is simply showing a certain amount of immaturity here, but just as you wish he would see your imperfect self perfectly, perhaps you may wish to consider this among his flaws that you are willing to accept.
A good many guys, and not all them lacking in sufficient years to have gained some level of maturity, seem to have a real fixation on women's appearance. Sadly, this is also accompanied by a good bit of hypocrisy as often as not as well, as they are perfectly willing to throw stones while living in a glass house.
He may grow up, and you may very well be the agent of his evolution if you can tolerate the time it takes for you to help him to do so. On the other hand, it may simply be in his nature to be hurtful, and not open to change.
I think a frank talk with him would be in order. Tell him how painful this is to hear over and over again. Ask him if it is something he feels so strongly about, and about conveying regardless of the injury is causes, that he cannot stop? When he responds, don't just listen to his words, but study his countenance to see if it betrays some inkling of feelings that his words do not, as he may not have the courage to admit to your face what he secretly harbors in his heart.
It could well be that he just feels so familiar with you that he thinks he can express anything that comes to his mind regardless of the consequences--and you need to tell him what those consequences are--that his remarks, whether intended in fun or not, are hurtful to you, and will put distance between you that will eventually erode that familiar and comfortable relationship he has.
Little boys, they throw rocks at frogs in jest, but the frogs they die in earnest.
2006-09-01 11:19:46 · answer #2 · answered by anonymourati 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your quote says it all. If he really loves u he would not want to hurt u by criticizing u like that. He is insensitive to your feelings, so talk to him and if he doesn't change then move on. It doesn't matter if your stick thin or not a person should love you not your size.
2006-09-01 11:05:00 · answer #3 · answered by sweetaspie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually I would like if my man were to tell me that. I want to look good, not only for him but for myself also. If I'm getting chubby, the I'll go work out. Maybe he's trying to tell you that, in a nicer way. Maybe you both can go work out together.
2006-09-01 11:15:11 · answer #4 · answered by Susa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have and guess what, they are insecure about themselves. A man who is secure in his own body won't be pointing out your flaws. I know of several men who want a woman who is secure in herself and can carry herself well (and who may have a few extra pounds) than an insecure skinny biotch! LOL
2006-09-01 10:59:59 · answer #5 · answered by ladysteelersince1976 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your boyfriend to look in the mirror!!! If he is saying things like that to you then he dont really care about you at all. Tell him to go find someone better if he can. doubt it though. you should find a new boyfriend that gives you all the compliments you deserve.
2006-09-01 11:01:10 · answer #6 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first time he did it i would have put him in his place. Plain and simple. If ya don't like him making such comments, then let him know straight out.
2006-09-01 11:02:52 · answer #7 · answered by Noah's Mommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to take a hike and find someone that will accept you for who you are and have the good manners not to insult you.
2006-09-01 10:59:17 · answer #8 · answered by James W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love it or leave it. That's what I'd tell him. If he's saying these things then he doesn't really love you. If you tell him he's hurting you, and he still does it, then he REALLY doesn't love you. Cut your losses, and find someone who will love every part of you.
2006-09-01 11:14:41 · answer #9 · answered by benjis.girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shut him up by saying "I DON'T WANT TO DATE YOU ANYMORE YOU SELFISH PIG" You are right, any real man that truely loves you would never never speak to you like that.
2006-09-01 11:25:55 · answer #10 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he told me he hates me being so skinny..(im very petite and struggle to put weight on, though i eat like a machine!)
i told him i hate sleeping with a baby whale....(he was a chubster)
then i told him i hate sleeping with a beached whale...
i never heard anything about my lack of weight again.
2006-09-01 11:00:55 · answer #11 · answered by bond007snaki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋