I was deployed to Iraq for 7 months. This was my 4th deployment over there since 9/11.
Since I have been back my wife won't have sex with me. Not even on the first night back. So now i am going on 8 months with no nookie.
What is going on and what should I do?
2006-09-01 10:55:50 · 18 answers · asked by deitz742004 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
welcome back soldier *salutes*
yes talk to your wife. Ask her why she wont sleep with you...but dont yell. Start off with something like "i am feeling a bit neglected right now, is there something wrong?" Using an "I" statement shouldt put her on the defensive and she hopefully will open up to you. Yes, not having sex after 8 months of seperation and not wanting to does sound a bit fishy, but again, talk to her. I know when my dad came back from bosnia a while back i had a hard time adjusting to his presence in the house again, she might be going thru an adjustment period. Hopefully things will clear the air with you two. Good luck!!
2006-09-01 11:11:58 · answer #1 · answered by magickitty0621 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This was your 4th deployment in 5 years and you are wondering what is wrong with your wife. She has spent untold hours being scared to death, worrying about you. In between she raised your children, worked a full time job, cleaned the house, did the laundry, was mom and dad to those kids and handled all the bills and repairs and anything else that came up. Now you are home and assuming the jobs that are considered man's work and she is feeling unneeded. Do not assume that she had an affair. That is just not giving her any credit at all. This is a period of readjustment and not just for her but for you too. Counciling may help you both with the changes going on in your lives. But time is most certainly the thing that will help the most.
God bless you and thank you so much for your service to this great country. A special thank you to your wife for letting the USA have you for the last few years. You are both special people.
2006-09-01 12:19:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, your wife has someone whispering some good things in her ear and might be having sex with someone else when you are away. You should ask your wife if she is really in love with you. It does not add up because your wife should not have a problem making love to you. Sex is not everything in a relationship but it is something if you have been away for a long period of time.Especially in a commited relationship.
2006-09-01 11:22:52 · answer #3 · answered by Demetrius B 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I spent a few months in ol' IraQ-ee-land myself! I came home and had a similar experience. Turns out the wife had some talks with other wives who told her "rumors had it" most guys cheated and had STDs. Sucked big time! Took a while but she came around.
- A-bone - All American!!
2006-09-01 11:13:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. Open up communication about anything and everything. Get to know each other again. She may want YOU more than she wants sex right now. And when you can discuss sex, discuss it with her. Share youtr feelings and concerns. (And don't place any blame on anyone!) Be sure she knows how much you care for her and how mych you love her, and let her know that sex is important for you to feel loved, too.
2006-09-01 10:59:32 · answer #5 · answered by bethiswriting 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Welcome back, thanks for all you are doing!!!
If that were me i wouldn't made it past the front door and i would have been all over my husband but thats me lol. Anyway talk to her , but unfortunetly she may have moved on with someone else. Which would be sad because you are risking your life for her freedom the least she could do is be faithul to her husband. But hopefully for your sake thats not the case. Good Luck!
2006-09-01 11:35:59 · answer #6 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start looking for a new wife! she cheated on you and either still seing the lover or she has std and does not want to contage you. 8 months is to worry buddy
2006-09-01 11:18:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
WELCOME BACK!
BOTH MY HUSBAND AND I ARE IN THE MILITARY, AND IT'S HARD, ITS HARD MORE THAN JUST ONE WAY, ONCE YOU LEAVE YOUR WIFE HAS TO FIND SUPPORT FROM OTHERS, THAT UNDERSTAND WHAT'S SHE GOING THROUGH. ONCE YOU LEAVE WE DONT KNOW WEATHER OR NOT YOUR COMING HOME, WE HAVE TO FOUND OURSELVES, AND STAND ON OUR OWN, YOUR WIFE LOVES YOU BUT SOMETIMES WE NEED TIME TO GET USED TO YOU BEING HOME, BY THE TIME WE GET USE TO YOU BEING HOME, YOUR LIVING AGAIN, AND WE SIT WONDERING IF THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIME WE YOU. JUST GIVE HER TIME. SHE'LL COME AROUND
2006-09-01 11:15:54 · answer #8 · answered by navyenlisted 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Welcome Back!!
I would have been on my husband in a minute.
Have you tried talking to her to see what her problem is. I couldn't really believe it but maybe she is scared since she hasn't been with you for that long. Be gentle and love her.
2006-09-01 11:07:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
try to plan a romantic day with her and let her know how much u missed her just show her some genuine love
good luck hope u get some
2006-09-01 10:58:43 · answer #10 · answered by lost in love 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋