I am 25 and I just had my first baby with my husband. We have been married for 3 years and have been togeather for 8. We never had problems before and now he is saying he is not happy he works all the time and then tells me things like he doesnt know if he loves me but then when I think things just cant get any worse he does stuff like he wants to spend time with me and cuddle i dont know what is going on we where so happy before
2006-09-01 10:08:52 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I also suggest counceling. I am going thru a divorce right now because we didn't get the help while we still had a chance. I think it will be a hard conversation to have but you both need to sit down and totally discuss every feeling that you are having. If he is saing that he doesn't know if he loves you anymore that is serious. And believe me girl you don't deserve that. My husband did that to me too and then he would kind of take it back by action and not by words. Things never changed and I ended up hating him for it to the point where I would get the chills everytime he would touch me and not the good kind. A lot of us women sit back and take all the crap that our men give us because we have hearts and love with every ounce of them, however there is someone out there that will love us unconditionaly just as we will love them. So for both of your sakes try and get counceling before it is too late because going thru a divorce really sucks too. Your beautiful and you deserve to be loved back.
2006-09-01 10:24:11 · answer #1 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband got married before he was really ready. Now hes not sure how to handle all thie responsibility of marriage and fatherhood. He does know what hes got and is afraid of losing you guys, hes just not sure if hes doing the right thing and enough of it. At first things were easy but then the baby and now things arent as easy and he has to share you. Theres not a real problem here that with a little time cant fix. He just has to come to grips with himself and accept the fact hes not a superhusband or superfather and he will be alright. Dont force him into anything and be there for him and show him you accept just fine, the way things are. He needs to see if youre happy or not too, but things are normal for a young couple, so dont worry and good luck
2006-09-01 10:22:06 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babies are great as we all know but they also bring upon some stress. Nobody but yourself knows your story. Did you gain some wieght after the baby was born maybe that bothers him a little. Sometimes Men get scared after they have a child and they think that thier life is over and they are stuck. You might want to check and see what he is doing when you are not around as well. I am not saying he is but he might be seeing someone else and is confused on what to do. You need to talk to him, that is the only way you are going to get an any answers.
2006-09-01 10:17:02 · answer #3 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be stress
did you change the way u were before?
did u loose the weight after the baby? Not that it matter but some guys are like that!
do you pay more attention to the baby than him?
why dont u try to seduce him do something kinky, try to light the candle that u guys had? how he reacts to your baby?
and just talk to him make a real nice dinner and sit and with a bottle of wine just enjoy each other and talk about what is going on....
2006-09-01 10:15:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something nice for him. Maybe you should think about getting a job to help out. Its hard to really enjoy life when you are working all the time. He sounds like a good husband and father, just going though some rough times. Good Luck.
2006-09-01 10:20:19 · answer #5 · answered by Dorrie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GOOD MARRIAGES ARE SOMETHING THAT TAKES LOTS OF WORK IT IS NOT JUST LOVE WHILE THAT IS THE ROOTS OFA MARRIAGE YOU NEED TIME WHEN THE BOTH OF YOU ARE NOT STREESED TO MAKE EACH OTHER FILL SPECIAL AND IM NOT TALKING HAVE SEX KIDS CHANGE THINGS A HUSBAND GETS JEALOUIS ITS A BALANCE ACT FOR A WOMAN IT DOEANT MEAN THEY DONT LOVE YOU R THE BABIES MAYB YOU CAN FIND TIME FOR A CANLE LITE DINNER OR A WEEKEND TRIP W/O THE BABY OR EVEN A NITE OUT YOU GOT TO FIND TIME FOR JUST THE TWO OF YOU I KNOW ITS NOT EASY I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 28 YRS TO A WONDERFUL MAN BUT HE GOT A LIL JEALOIUS AFTER OUR 1ST BABE HE WAS USE TO ALL MY ATTENTION SO I STARTED ASKING HIM TO HLP ME WITH THE BABY MORE SO I COULD FIX SUPPER AND DO DISHES AND GO TO BED EARLIER GET HIM INVOLVED AND LET HIM KNOW HE IS LOVED AND NEEDED
2006-09-01 10:20:47 · answer #6 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the stress of having the baby is taking toll on him. Make sure you make time for just the two of you! Have a date night. Get out without the baby and have fun together...
2006-09-01 10:13:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that having a baby is a big change and it takes a lot of responsibility. He just gets scared. This is normal but you need to tell him he needs to stop with the negativity. He does love you it's just easy for him to say he doesn't.
2006-09-01 10:20:27 · answer #8 · answered by e_deckwa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should try and really talk to him. You have been together for awhile and he is your husband, you should be able to have a serious conversation with him to figure out where he really stands. You need to know for your sake as well as your baby. Perhaps maybe you should spend a weekend together alone...to figure things out. Good luck.
2006-09-01 10:13:25 · answer #9 · answered by Hydee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are asking the wrong people for an answer. He's the one you need to sit and talk to about what's going on and how he really feels. Ask him what does he want for your marriage, and what plans does he have to make them happen. Let him tell you where you fit in those plans.
2006-09-01 10:16:03 · answer #10 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋