My boyfriend has 5 kids from a previous marriage. I'm glad he loves his kids, but he always has "other obligations" that he feels he must do. Whenever we plan something together, he has to back out. He coaches football and baseball. His two oldest girls are now in high school. I never seem important enough. We never get any time alone. I go the extra mile for him, but he doesn't go the extra mile for me. He can never fulfil his promises to me. Am I wrong to be upset with him when his kids keep us apart?
2006-09-01 09:26:29 · 7 answers · asked by pfwqjkhk 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should go along with him during some of his visits with the kids. But don't be jealous. His kids will always be first, nothing wrong with that. You need to get along with his kids and that will help out. Good Luck..
2006-09-01 09:33:59 · answer #1 · answered by momof3isme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not wrong for you to feel that he never tries to make sure you two have time together. he is a father of five and it sounds as though he is involved in their lives. this is a fact. if you can not handle this now, how do you think you would fare if you two were to marry. you would have the additional stress of having to deal with the ex. that is no picnic, no matter how nice they may seem or act toward you at first meeting or the early stages of your relationship with their ex. i strongly suggest that you start looking at different options if this is this much of a problem right now. there are tons of guys out there without kids that could help supply what you need.
2006-09-01 09:37:14 · answer #2 · answered by Robert A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, your feelings are never wrong but u knew that u were getting a package deal when you hooked up with him. My guess is he's getting stretched thin with all his obligations to his kids and his work and not enough time for you. I don't know if you've spoken to him about this but if you haven't it's a good time to start. Maybe all he needs to do is learn how to manage his time more effectively. Communicate it with him and see if he is willing to set aside some time just for you. If it doesn't work out then you may just have to move on and find someone who can devote more of their time with you.
2006-09-01 09:32:35 · answer #3 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not wrong to expect that from him, and he's not wrong for being a good dad. The two of you are just wrong for each other. You deserve better, and so does he. Move on, and find a man with no kids that can devote all his time to you.
2006-09-01 09:30:56 · answer #4 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're right in being upset. He's actually pretty honest about his priorities - so, unless you can accept that you come second every time, you have to recognize that he's not the man you really want to be with. Dating a single father (especially of five) is not for everyone - it may simply not be for you.
2006-09-01 09:31:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to realize that the ENTIRE time you are with him, his children are going to come first. They were there first, and they will always be on his mind. If you want to stay with him then you are going to have to learn to live with feeling like that. And do you really want to be number 2 in someones life or number 1?
2006-09-01 09:29:54 · answer #6 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same thing happened to me........once! A parent's obligation is to his children.......good for him! I then made a decision not to date anyone with young kids that he is responsible for. That is the price you pay, sweetie! Five kids is a lot.....you need to find another boyfriend and stop whining!
2006-09-01 09:42:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋