My husband would like to have a threesome, fmf, and I am curious. How would we go about getting another girl? What kind of repruccusions would there be if any? Have any married couples done this? Did you like it?
2006-09-01 09:16:30 · 15 answers · asked by Becky 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As far as some of these naysayers like:
"It's the begining of the end of your marriage as you know it. Only a fool would compromise their relationship for a few moments of pleasure. Good luck. I'll see you on the Jerry Springer show here in a month or two."
"DONT DO IT WILL CAUSE LOTS PROBLEMS IN THE FUTURE HE MAY LIKE HER MORE THAN YOU AND LEAVE YOU FOR HER"
"You sure don't believe or honor a union blessed by God,do you? You will lose your husband and live a lonely life if you do this sick stuff."
These are all people who have never been there and are talking from their own fears caused by insecurity and thus jealousy, and even religious bias. What they should be saying is "It works for some people, but it wouldn't work for me." Comments like he'll leave you for her just go to show that these people think that sex is what a relationship is all about and therefore it's all that's needed to make someone leave you.
People confuse jealousy with love. They think the greater the love the greater the jealousy. In fact it's exactly the other way around. The more you love someone and they love you, the less jealousy should be an issue because you are secure in your relationship and you trust each other.
My wife didn't marry me just because of good sex. She had good sex with her ex-husband, she had good sex with boyfriends before and after her ex-husband. The difference? Me. Who I am. And no dick can ever replace that. A relationship is not all about sex. It's about everything when you're not having sex. The sex with her ex's wasn't good enough to compensate for all the other areas that were lacking in the relationship. Thus, today she is with me, and we have been together eight years.
My wife and I have been swingers for several years and have done FMF and MFM. It is easier to find a guy for a MFM then another girl for a FMF, though. There just doesn't seem to be that many candidates out there for it.
Did we like it? Very much. As a guy, I personally like the MFM better though, because I love to be part of treating a woman like the goddess she is.
Has swinging changed our marriage? Well it was pretty dang good before, now it's even better. Why? Well, sex was great before and it's still great between us. What's gotten better is the communication. If you can tell the one you love that so-and-so turns you on and there is not an issue with that, imagine all the other things you can talk about that you normally would have hidden. There are no walls between us now. We trust each other completely with our feelings, our thoughts, our fears, our weaknesses. Stuff many people are afraid to reveal to someone else, even the one they supposedly love the most in the world.
We talk, and talk, and talk these days. We hold hands all the time. We flirt with each other everywhere we go. Our friends (both non-swingers and swingers alike) say we are the happiest couple they know.
The key is that you and your husband have a strong relationship to begin with and that you are not insecure in it or about yourself and your worth to your spouse. Then there will be no jealousy.
Also, you said "My husband would like to have a threesome, fmf..." This if of course every guy's fantasy. How do you feel about it? Does the thought turn you one? Are you just luke warm about it? Are you doing it just to please him? If the answer isn't the first one, "it really turns you on too" then it may not turn out the way you want it to.
One of the most important rules of swinging is: if it doesn't work for either one of you, it doesn't work for both of you.
How would your husband feel if the shoe was on the other foot and you wanted to have a MFM (if that is a fantasy of yours)? If you are willing to fulfill his fantasy, then he should be willing to fulfill yours.
If everything is done right, and you two talk about it in length before and after, all will be okay, and more then likely even better then it was before. If you rush into it and don't have a clear understanding of what the rules are going in, then someone is bound to piss off the other one.
A great resourse to learn more is a forum called The Swingers Board. It's free and you don't have to register to just read the forums. It has a searchable database of topics and threads too. There is a ton of great information about swinging there. You ane your husband should sit down and read it together.
If it's still something you feel like you two want to explore, then go for it. Some people can live-out their fantasies, and some fantasies are better left just that. Only through talking it over in depth will you be able to determine what camp you're in.
;-)
2006-09-01 19:33:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be lying if I told you this was coming from experience but I would think if both of you had done this in the past then you might know what to expect,but if you haven't, then you're going into uncharted waters.Who knows,if you do it and like it, it would open up a whole new world for both of you but if not, it can backfire on you.I also think it's important that both of you are in total agreement.Best of luck to you,I hope no matter what you decide,it turns out to be the best for you.
2006-09-02 10:32:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We have a very loving relationship built on trust and complete honesty. I agree that sex in marriage is sacred (as some have said on here.) We have very little jealousy in our relationship. When it does come up we discuss it and deal with it.
We started with fantasy. We would make up erotic stories and share them with each other. Most often we would tell the stories while we were having sex. You don't have to actually have the threesome to enjoy the fantasy. We found that the more we told the story the more we wanted to do it for real. We also found that we felt safer doing it, because we had rehearsed it so many times in our fantasies.
After our first threesome we experienced a Huge sense of accomplishment. We did something that other couples wouldn't even consider. We stretched ourselves. We stood on the strength of our relationship and reached for new heights...
And it payed off with greater intimacy and deeper love.
2014-04-14 16:35:40 · answer #3 · answered by Brad 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why doesn't he want a mfm one? Because he wants to be with another woman, right? If you're comfortable with that, then go for it. But threesomes can really hurt a realtionship unless you are extremely open-minded. Will you be thinking that he's enjoying being with her more than you? Will you think he'll want to leave you for her? Ask him if he would want to have a threesome with you and another guy and see what his response is. Would he be as open to that as you are to going along with his fantasy? If not, you may want to reconsider.
2006-09-01 16:32:51 · answer #4 · answered by Shortstack 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Go to the web and see if there are any swing clubs in your area. You will have to initiate it at a regular bar, look for the girl by herself and go greet her. Buy her a drink feel her out and if you feel its right mention it to her. At the swing club its a little easier but its a little more than a 3 some. But they will respect you if you aren't interested. They know who there people are. You can observe and go back a 2ND time if you think its right.
2006-09-01 17:05:45 · answer #5 · answered by Ask the Chef 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
What is so wrong about having sex, making love or f'ing 1 person for the rest of your life. Wether your husband wants to watch you with another girl or guy it doesn't make sense. Why can't people just be happy with the one you married or be single and sleep with others if your married be married. All your going to do is screw things up.
2006-09-01 16:26:13 · answer #6 · answered by Raineybaby 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Bringing another person into your bedroom can be unpredictable.
I predict the actual event won't come close to the anticipation.
Rent a video instead...the actors do it so much better.
2006-09-01 16:32:42 · answer #7 · answered by hellsbells 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's lots of fun but you can't be the jealous type otherwise your relationship with your significant other will collapse. Also in fairness to you, try the mfm combination.
2006-09-01 16:24:08 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. BIG 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I have never heard of a thing more weird than this. Are you Human, because you display typical animal Instinct. Thank God, that you two were married to each other, or you would have destroyed two other lives. God save you!!!
2006-09-01 17:59:07 · answer #9 · answered by Jennifer 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You sound like you're all for it !!!! It's the begining of the end of your marriage as you know it. Only a fool would compromise their relationship for a few moments of pleasure.
Good luck. I'll see you on the Jerry Springer show here in a month or two.
2006-09-01 16:20:26 · answer #10 · answered by gozedown 4 · 2⤊ 5⤋