After 6 months, we finally broke up. I wanted it to be amicable break up, but as usual guys are just jerks! I was and still is ready to just walk away and prevent future hurt and pain. But lo and behold 2 days later he gets hurt on the job and is hospitalized. He will be in there for at least 2 weeks and will be immobile for another 2 weeks.
I feel so torn in seeing someone I care about get hurt, but to what extent can I assist. I am no longer his girlfriend. I have no ties or allegiance to him anymore. But I don't want to turn my back on him either. I think it would be cruel for me to leave him high and dry. Please advise???
2006-09-01 09:00:40 · 15 answers · asked by EmCee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I should add that I already visited him once and brought him books from his favorite author and dropped off a portable dvd player w/ movies for him to watch. Also, he doesn't really have anyone...he is not that close to his family. I just want to be a friend and hope that he realizes I have no ulterior motives.
2006-09-01 09:13:18 · update #1
OMG, he just called me to ask me to bring him shampoo and to wash his hair for him. He said he didn't feel comfortable having the nurses do it!!!
2006-09-01 11:16:32 · update #2
The answer is simple though not simple. Treat him with love, honest, and respect. You don't have to be his girlfriend to behave with those traits. Your relationship is definitely different. You can let him know that you care about him and support him without crossing the boyfriend/girlfriend line. A simple card or visit might work. Keep the conversation short and simple. Let him do most of the talking and be ready to quietly walk away. Don't visit too long. Should you give a gift, keep it impersonal. If you cannot see him, then keep your distance with love, honesty, and respect. That too is an option. Do all things with a heart of love and respect.
2006-09-01 09:09:46 · answer #1 · answered by Jack 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, a little background and then my advice ok.
I've been with this man for 8 years, my high school sweetheart. 2 1/2 years ago, we had a daughter. We broke up and got back together soooo many times I can't even remember how many. Yet all for the same exact reasons. He bought a 2006 motorcycle and sold his family car. What else would anyone think....after all of the heartaches prior to this....ok so he doesn't want to act like a father much ess a boyfriend...why should I continue to stay. We were on the verge of breaking up everyday! I was a stay at home mom and he worked to provide for us while we lived with our parents and raised our daughter. I thought he was late from work because he was cheating on me, he got in a motorcycle wreck. He was going 45 mph and a car crossed the median into the street and he slammed into the passenger side. He flew over and onto the otherside of the car and he was crushed. I didn't know what to do except be by his side. I felt no more romantic love for him and I knew in my heart, mind, and soul that this accident wasn't going to bring us together. He came out of the hospital a changed man. He wanted to do right and make me happy now. I was all ready torn and his body was in ruins his life was scattered. It still is 9 months later. Don't stay with him for pity, be there for him but don't go back if that's not what you want.
2006-09-01 17:09:58 · answer #2 · answered by Her Mama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not leaving him high and dry...you ended a relationship that wasn't working for you. Sounds like his condition is imposing some guilt and feelings of responsiblity. Don't allow yourself to fall victim to this type of thinking. Do a simple courtesy phone call, clearing stating you just wanted to see how he's doing and wanted to wish him a speedy recovery. Keep it short and controlled. End the conversation with "take care", and don't feel the need to call again.
2006-09-01 16:12:21 · answer #3 · answered by Serena M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he will get the wrong message no matter what you tell him... Sending him a card would have been better than going to see him and bringing him gifts.. He is a big boy.. your relationship has ended.. you need to move on.. if you don't then you may be going through another break up.. and it will be more hurtful to lead him on then it is, not going to see him..
2006-09-01 16:19:11 · answer #4 · answered by cinsaint1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send him a card, let him know that even though you are broken up that you are sorry he was injured, and that he is in your thoughts for a speedy recovery. Also you could add that if he needs anything, that you would be willing to help out.
2006-09-01 16:11:18 · answer #5 · answered by Barbi W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's over...right? So why do you feel obligated to go see him? That's not leaving him high and dry. You may be taking a step here that you'll regret later. Don't do it. Heed my advice.
2006-09-01 16:14:11 · answer #6 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your ready to move on then move on. If you come back that will be sending mixed feelings. I am sure there is someone else to help out. hat would happen if you had never been there.
2006-09-01 16:05:34 · answer #7 · answered by xeson1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be nice and visit hime once. Say hi and tell him he is in your heart and prayers thru this... That is all needed nothing more nothing less.
2006-09-01 16:09:54 · answer #8 · answered by MsLysa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go visit ,comfort him in these times and go with your other friends so he does not push you.....dont leave him..just do not let him brimg up that topic!...Shhh is good
2006-09-01 16:08:30 · answer #9 · answered by kydexa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send a card and stay away. He's obviously not been your friend, so you're being his friend WHY?
2006-09-01 16:09:32 · answer #10 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋