Ok this is a tough question to ask but i'm going to ask it anyway.
17 years ago i was raped several times by my boyrfriend of the time. I took 5 years to rebuild my life after that and put what was a bad memory behind me. My ex always knew i had been raped but i had never gone into details the other week he managed to break me down to tell him what had happened. {he is a survivor of child abuse himself. He kept saying he wanted to help me thru my feelings which he was until tuesday and now he is saying i destroyed everything with my big secret and doing everything in his power to destroy me. I never spoke about my rape because i had spent those 5 years re-building and now its back to haunt me once but i did the sensible thing and contact the doctor etc. I never kept it from him i was raped and he never asked me so why do i feel bad now when all i did was move from something bad in my life?
2006-09-01 08:37:49 · 9 answers · asked by h 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This guy is a jerk who is playing dangerous games with you. You need to get in touch with a therapist and get away from this terminally TOXIC guy as soon as possible. I seriously doubt that this guy has been sexually abused as a child or adult. If he had been then he wouldn't be able to play these games with someone else. This is a serious issue and I think you need to talk this thru with someone professional. I am sorry for what happened to you but your are a strong survivor and very little can break you at this stage. Get help for the feelings but get rid of the guy. I wish you the best of luck and will keep you in my thoughts.
2006-09-01 08:48:43 · answer #1 · answered by Jenny C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that your is ex is clearly an idiot that is incredibly controlling. He wants to have the power over you and sees you as weak so therefore is the perfect person to make him feel in charge. I dont think that this is a person you need to be associating yourself with. In order to continue all the good work you have been doing rebuilding your life you need to get this person out of it. I really hope it all works out for you. I know its not easy trusting someone, this ex has abused that trust in making you feel bad all over again.
Good luck and you have nothing to feel bad for.
2006-09-01 08:50:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have drudged all of that up again. It has been 17 years. If you spent 5 years re-building then that means that you got over it. The past is the past. Move on and forget about this guy who is bringing you down.
2006-09-01 08:45:15 · answer #3 · answered by gemone523 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've done the right thing. He pressured you to speak up so that he could help, but then turned on you, what a fool he is. If you still feel like this is a problem and its going to cause you problems, seek help again for this and start anew. Good Luck
2006-09-01 08:44:54 · answer #4 · answered by Pilot 202 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-15 22:33:39 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume no ones died in front of you before. Its the same process to use to get over the bad memory. You'll never be able to forget so don't even try. All you can do is live with it. My best friend was killed in front of me and I held him while he died, I have never forgotten the afternoon but I have couped with it. It was meant to happen, that may suck but its true. So tell those who inquire, then tell them you don't want to discuss it. If they have any respect than they'll not mention it.
2006-09-01 08:51:14 · answer #6 · answered by (l)SR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look, I can't improve on the previous answers, nor help you feel better, but you are clearly strong and he is clearly not as strong as you are, but men tend not to be. That's why we appear callous: to cover our weaknesses. You may work through this together, or not, but it's worth a try.
I just want to wish you well.
You'll cope darling. x
2006-09-01 09:50:15 · answer #7 · answered by ALAN Q 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldnt feel bad. your ex couldnt handle knowing all the facts, it probably brought back all his memories, pain etc.
you did nothing wrong, its your exs problem not yours, you have coped once with getting over this and you will do so again.
Good Luck and be strong xx
2006-09-01 08:46:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow tough question, all i can say is good luck with the future
2006-09-01 08:41:16 · answer #9 · answered by orfeo_fp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋