Why do moms protect the men who sexually abuse their daughters Even after DHS took the child and filed charges

Question

My sister is convinced her daughter is making it up even after her boyfriend was arrested and her daughter was put in a foster home. She continued to live with her child's abuser who is a convicted fellon. She is even trying to get her daughter's statement about the abuse thrown out of court. She has chosen this man over her only child.

Answer 1

There are a lot of psychological reasons. Maybe this analogy is good. Suppose you did something horrible like steal all the petty cash at work. Then someone says "I think you stole it." Would you really admit it unless someone had you dead-on like a videotape? That is an analogy. It is human nature to deny awful things we do. Like have an affair. Everyone usually denies it. Its a lie, but it happens. Also, sex abuse is so horrible that some people go into complete denial and reconstruct reality in their mind so they actually do not remember it. God bless you and your search.

Answer 2

The dynamics of sexual abuse and domestic violence in families is one of the most frustrating aspects of social work. Mothers in these situations lose more (in their eyes) by believing their children including their spouse, their home, their family, and more. Their needs and the the needs of the other children weigh more than the individual child making the allegations (the victim). The other problem is that most of these women know their spouses are committing the offenses, and are doing nothing about it. It's safer to keep the denial going versus admitting they knew what was going on. The child is victimized by both parents the offender, and the one in denial. Another problem is that this person may have extreme low self esteem and is trying to show her spouse her support so that he will love her. Until the mother admits her spouse is an offender, and believes her child, the problem will never go away. Children especially younger children, don't make things up like sexual abuse to create problems in their family. The number one offender in most states are paramours who are not the natural parents of the children.

Answer 3

I went threw sh*t like that but the bast**d is my father and my mother is still with him and I'm a 28 year old single mother and this happened when I was 14. And he plead guilty because there was evidence and my mother was by his side the whole time. But to ask your question I think they are either scared of them or they just don't want to believe there kids and be single parents. hay taking care of a child alone is not easy but hay I love it, and if anyone tried to get stupid and touch my child I'll make sure Loraina Bobbitt comes back out. And you remember to always be there for your Niece, my aunts were always there for me, and still are. And tell the young one to stay strong and never let it ruin her life.

Answer 4

B/c she doesn't love herself. Her child is only an extension of her so she goes to the bf b/c he makes her feel good. If there was evidence of abuse found, I suggest fighting for custody b/c (and I'm really sorry to say this) but she's just to unfit to raise that child. She's way too selfish to see beyond what she wants and that type of personality will never grow out of it.

Answer 5

I have heard of stories where the child would say that just to "get back at" the parent for something they did and the child didn't like it. Like grounding them for being out too late or something. doesn't mean in your case that that is what the child is doing that, but it's not uncommon.

Love is blind also. Your sister probably doesn't want to accept that her BF is capable of such things and wants to either pretend it didn't happen or ignore that it did

Friend of mine's son said he would call the police if his father spanked him for being bad.

Answer 6

Well first of all if she is now with a child molester, then she probably was victimized herself as a child by someone. People usually don't pick such inappropriate mates if they don't have their own issues. She probably hasn't delt with her own issues, blames herself for her own abuse, plus probably her daughter's too. Low self esteem, isn't ready to admit that she has her own issues, much less admit to the boyfriends.

Answer 7

The mother's love for her daughter should be greater than what she has for a man.
Maybe she has low self esteem and she doesn't think she can find anyone else, so she's holding on to this sick f*uck.
She is being just as abusive to her daughter mentally and emotionally.

Answer 8

I don't know why, but it seems that some girls will always be loyal to their guys no matter how crappy they treat them, or even other people they love. I saw a guy slap his girlfriend in a parking lot one time, and I jumped the curb in my truck, and was beating the piss outta him, when all of a sudden she was hitting me from behind! I don't completely understand it, but it's a real shame that girls hook up with such losers sometimes. Just wait on a guy that will treat you with the respect you deserve! He IS out there ya know.....

Answer 9

If something happened to my husband that is why I wouldn't date. But is she acting out ove love for the man, or fear for herself? Maybe there are factors (no, its not a good excuse!) that you don't know? How strong a woman is your sister? Is she being abused, too, and reprogrammed (for lack of a better word) to submit and get jerko out of this mess?

Answer 10

How very sad. If you are old enough you should try to become your nieces legal guardian. She needs someone in her life that loves and believes in her. As for your sister it sounds like she deserves the jerk.