i need serious opinions coz im depress now.. my mom and dad have been married for almost 30 yrs..im the youngest in the family.my dad was moved to another country 10 yrs ago..i decided to live with him and damn! i found out he was living with another girl...my mom doesnt know about it but suspicious..im afraid to tell her for she has a weak heart.. im living with my dad and his mistress now...i cant do anything like move out coz i go to school and i earn so little...im really desperate...what should i do? my dad said he still love my mom but he has no choice coz the other girl pays for a lot of stuffs that can save money to support our family..pls help me! =(
2006-09-01 07:13:23 · 21 answers · asked by noworthperson 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he goes home every year to my mom and other siblings who doesnt know anythinh by the way
2006-09-01 07:13:56 · update #1
dont ever feel likr you are worthless you always have sum to offer.but if you feel like this you should pray this could be a trying test for you and your family trust me it will work out no matter how farfetched that may seem.
2006-09-01 07:21:26 · answer #1 · answered by wanrev1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Others have said what I would about your situation as far as what to do. Basically you have to decide and it would probably be best if you can move back to mom's or keep your mouth shut till school is done (assuming specific college situation - otherwise, k-12 school can be had anywhere)
I would like to add, you dad's excuse about having a mistress because she helps pay the bills sounds like complete BS designed to make you feel for his situation. If anything, he is probably helping the mistress/girlfriend financially. That is almost always the way it works.
2006-09-01 07:27:08 · answer #2 · answered by JoeFunSmith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why is dad in another country?
if mom is ill, why cause her any grief. maybe you should try to put your mom at ease and move her away from the subject of infidelity.
yes what your father is doing is illegal and unethical and immoral and when it is his time to go -- he will probably burn in hell --but you do not need to put your mom in an early grave if you dont have to. normally i would say kick dad in the family jewels, but neither needs that kind of grief.
no you are not a worthless child. sometimes keeping the peace is the greater need and doing so makes you the stronger of all your family. you dont have a reason to be desperate, you hold all the cards and your father should be bowing down to you.
good luck and keep your chin up. the things in your life can only get easier from here on out.
2006-09-01 07:36:42 · answer #3 · answered by Forever Looking 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
where are you from? Why was your dad just moved to another country? Why didn't your Mom and other children go with him. Surely your mom does know if they only see each other once a year. Some know but never let on they know because they understand that is just the way that it has to be.
2006-09-01 07:18:24 · answer #4 · answered by hummingbird 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have so many answers, if you do, by chance, read mine, this is what I think.
You would be a horrible daughter if you didn't feel the way you do! Now I'm a little confused by why your mother and father, if married and still in love, would live and work so far away from one another. What country do you live in and where does your mother live. When was the last time you spoke with her? What are the reasons for this long distant separation? There are so many questions about the situation.
I must say that your mother is not a stupid woman, regardless of what it may appear on the outside. If they live so far apart from one another the money can not be that good. Your mother knows whats going on, after this much time she is wise to the fact that a man will not go this long without a woman if he has any type of drive for them, what so ever.
Your mother may denie what is right in front of her face but, don't believe for a second she isn't aware. NOW, if your this guilty about what your father is doing I suggest you speak with him. Tell him how you feel! I suppose your dilemma would not be one for me. Moraly I would have said something to both my parents long ago. It isn't right! If you still feel like your mother is blind to the truth, put yourself in her shoes. Would you want your own child to LIE to you about something your husband was doing behind your back. It is distastefull to me that your father would put you in such a compromising position in the first place. I am sickened by the lack a character your father has shown towards his own daughter much less his wife. Be above them all! Find your own place to live, there are several groups in the U.S. that help house students.
Like I said before, I don't know much about where you live, or your true situation. You must be the one in the end that makes the final decision about your own life's true moral walk. I can tell you that I would not live like that!! I am not a christian, far from it, so don't think this comes in the direction of religion. Our moral standing is what should separate us from the animals, or we have not evolved much above a dust mite. Think about where you are and where you will be in twenty years! or even ten years! Is this something you would ever want your own children to learn about? How would they grow up knowing their grandfather was living with a woman while still married to their grandmother?
How would you ever be able to explain right from wrong! It would be extremely confusing to them and the wheels keep turning on, and on, and on!
Do you see where I'm going with this?
Make the right choice! Don't allow the need for their money and support to blind you from the true meaning of all they may be helping you with. Your love for your parents will always be there! Keep the respect you feel for your mother and attempt to retrieve the respect you lost for your father. Respect yourself enough and do the right thing!
Good Luck!
2006-09-01 07:50:07 · answer #5 · answered by wonderingmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No kiddo, you aren't a worthless daughter.
You seem to be in a situation where every choice you make would hurt someone. Your mother probably knows. A woman always knows.
I know you want to take an action of some sort, I think the best course of action would be to take the steps to move back in with your mother.
2006-09-01 07:22:06 · answer #6 · answered by Erad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS. You have been put into a situation that no parent should put their child into. I'm sorry that you are going through this. If it is possible go home to your mom? Or tell your dad that either he tells your mom or you do. Chances are though your mom may already know.
2006-09-01 07:17:54 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, your in a rough spot..I would say since your mom has a bad heart , don't tell her you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if something happened to her , try and move home and take care of mom , she needs you the most right now....
2006-09-01 07:20:10 · answer #8 · answered by MARY B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with the second answer you are not a worthless daughter your father is a worthless husband, first of all cheating and lying to your mother and then using someone else for financial support. everyone works hard to achieve certain things and he cant' leech on her like that he is supposed to work hard so that he could support himself and his family.....i'm very sorry for you. obviously your dad doesn't know what he is putting you through, but chances are if you and your mom has a great relationship when she does find out (which she will cuz all things done in the dark comes out to light one day) she is gonna be hurt and disappointed in you for not telling her it comes like you like what is going on, and that guilt would be terrible cuz you would hate your dad and you would lose your mom, let your siblings in on what is going on and ask their opinions but my advise is to tell her the truth....best of luck and my deepest symphaties
2006-09-01 07:25:30 · answer #9 · answered by Jessica Simpson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a worthless daughter.... Your father is a worthless husband.
Perhaps you should consult an older sibling, and decide together to go to your mother. Also, there is a chance your mother already knows about this other women, and chooses to ignore it.
2006-09-01 07:17:42 · answer #10 · answered by impatientone_2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow.. so he's basically cheating on ur mom just so he can pay the bills.. wow that's tough one.. but u know what that is ur mom and u need to give ur dad a ultamatum... tell him if he doesn't tell then u will.. don't allow urself to be caught up in his drama cause now ur burdened w/this secret that could destroy ur family..
$$ is the root to all evil...
sit ur dad down and tell him u won't continue to carry this burden alone and that ur mom has a right to know.... u's can all survive if u work together.. u don't need her $$$.. he just wants to have his cake and eat it to.. does the other women know about ur mom??
2006-09-01 07:19:03 · answer #11 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋