why do the desire to experience pleasure often lead to the experience of pain?

Question

i am not only talking about the pleasure of sex, i am talking about pleasure in general.

Answer 1

It is in our nature to pursue that which 'pleases' and flee from that which 'displeases'. By this explanation, one feels pain (displeasure) when one, through trial and/or ignorance, has failed to avoid it.

But how can they often be consequences of one another?

That an experience of pleasure may be followed by an experience of displeasure, or vice versa, has less to do with the experiences themselves and more with HOW we go about experiencing them.

For example: Liza wishes to see a rose so she goes to a garden and finds one to look at:
Pleasure without displeasure...
Now, at this point, let's say Liza is so taken with the sight of the rose that she wishes to further enhance this pleasurable experience by taking the flower home with her but, in removing the rose from the bush, pricks her finger on one of it's thorns:
Pleasure which lead to displeasure...

This is a simple example, of course; one could argue the displeasure of having to leave the sight of the rose, or of watching the rose wither and die, --- I could go on and on,...

...but I feel it would be a painful experience for me to do, so I will avoid it by forgoing further discourse on this query.

Answer 2

The Buddha thought and taught that desire (the wrong kind of desire) is the cause of pain. The Stoics believed that one should at all times maintain a calm mind, even in the face of pain, and argued that much of what the world considers pleasurable is not worth troubling oneself about. The poetry of John Keats dwells on the alliance of pain and pleasure. There is the poetic line, "Parting is such sweet sorrow." The Germans speak of "schadenfreude," taking pleasure in the misfortunes of others, as though seeking a paradoxical revenge for one's own past sufferings. Freudian psychology is much concerned with the ambiguity, the oppositeness of our emotions. Epicurus, the philosopher of pleasure, and his disciples distinguished between pure pleasure and the kind of pleasure for which one later pays in pain: the difference between an evening savoring a few glasses of wine in the company of friends and running through several drinks quickly and waking up the next morning with a terrible hangover. I think it is in the very nature of life that pleasure and pain are frequently associated--think of a mother going through the agony of childbirth and rejoicing in her child at the end of it. But with experience one learns to separate the deeper, more satisfying pleasures which do not leave behind a thick sediment of pain and the more superficial ones which do. Think of a man deliberately deceiving a woman in love, which often leads to suffering for both.

Answer 3

When a presence of something gives us pleasure, absence of it can give us pain, and each time we get addicted to something external that fulfills our need for pleasure we are creating future experiences of pain when we will no longer have our object of desires or we would no longer be able to indulge in it.

So pain cures us of our addictions to our objects of pain which were objects of pleasure to begin with. Freedom from desire comes with some amount of pain, so deeper the roots of desire and pleasure, the more pain will it cause while uprooting. Each time we indulge in a pleasure we create an addiction to it which itself a seed of future pain.

The only object of pleasure that can never create any pain is divine love so when get fed up of all earthy source of pleasure we naturally reach out to the divine and in the process experience divine love, bliss or what we call the Big O!

Answer 4

I find your question insightful. I think that most of the time pleasure involves doing something dangerous, or involves other people to want the same thing.

For instance, I find great pleasure in riding four wheelers fast, but I often hurt myself. I guess I have to agree with you, but I think that is part of the fun, that you might hurt yourself.

Answer 5

Things that are pleasureful become attached to the heart. Your heart is very fragile. When that pleasure strays away from the heart, it leaves a dent, causing pain. My advide, become numb.

Answer 6

Because all life is suffering, and suffering is created by desire, the desire to feel good. Desire = pain and Pain = Desire each one equals its self one is the other. In order to be ride of pain is to be ride of desire. It takes years of meditation and focus to do this, and its not easy either.

Answer 7

I think it has something to do with that whole Yin-Yang thing. Every action has a opposite reaction, and then sometimes we just stumble painfully along until we find our pleasure....

Answer 8

By the same principle of when we try to avoid pain, we blunt our capacity to experience joy.

Answer 9

Pain is pleasure..

You just have to know how to channel the sexual energy properly so its not pain..its pleasure.

If it hurts, your doing it worng.

Answer 10

Because some don't set limits on self-gratification and if left unchecked can lead to self-detriment.