My resentfull husband?

Question

MY company just went under and i have been out of work for six weeks now. I worked there for 11 yrs and managed to put a small chunck of savings away. My husband is petty and resentfull that he is working 2 part time jobs to pay all his child supports (3) to other women from his past and his small car loan...that takes all his pay. I pay every single bill in this house right down to the toilet paper. It's just me and him and one of his sons ocationally, but i supply everything and now he is resentfull because i took some time off...i have NEVER been out of work my whole life..i am 35 with no kids, but with one huge baby..is he right in his way of thinking and being resentfull that i get to stay home and take a break from working..p.s. My work ethic has always been A+++

To David M. Hello, i bet your the same way..you let your wife pay all the bills. LOSER

Thanks QUEENHAG for stickin up for me, i do love him very much and we have been on and off since high school.

Answer 1

Well...it's like this. Some men have little to no self esteem. Those type need a boost to their egos because their tiny and feeble minds cannot digest the plain and simple fact that they've made their beds and they can't find someone to lie in it with them.
Case in point is your hubby. Three seperate child support payments. This only shows me that he can't retain decent employment, contributes zilch to the household but apparently the only thing he could master was an erection. Actually...I take that back. had he more self control he wouldn't be shelling out his cash to pay for 3 off spring.
Now..he's resentful because you took time off. This is a self centered man who actually feels good about himself when he makes you feel guilty or miserable. Well my dear...what you have here is not a man but a child. He has no cotrol over his life and to be even more frank, you'll never break him of this. Why? Because it's the only way he knows how to be. Gee...think that any guy who has 3 previous relationships that failed may have some problem? Am I correct in assuming that he's told you the relationships all failed because it was the fault of the woman? I'll bet I hit the nail on the head..right?
I suspect the same complaints you have are no different than the others. Your smart move was not to have kids with this guy.
Get rid of this fool. You have brains and a work ethic. Something any man would cherish and want. To hell with him. He's a bum.

Answer 2

Think you are simply 2 people living together, and not truly in a marriage. Why do you have your money? and his money? Why does he have to work 2 part-time jobs? I get that he has children from other relationships from his past. I agree that he should pay his support. What do you share besides a last name? a residence? If you made enough money to cover the expenses, put money aside in a savings, why can't he work one part-time job, and look for a good full-time job. You have no children in this relationship. I'd be a little pissy as well.
I'd like to point out that there is nothing wrong with putting money aside for a rainy day. Good practice that most people do not do and when they need the extra, are crying they do not have it. Get back into the game of employment!

Answer 3

He is totally in the wrong and why did you marry such a leach and loser? What grown man with any sense of pride works 2 part time jobs? Obviously they are low paying as well if his child support eats up all the money. At the very LEAST he should be paying half of all household expenses! Dump this loser. You are 35 and have no children of your own, so why put up with him?

Answer 4

I have always felt that spouses should support each other...that's part of the joy of marriage. For him to feel resentful towards you is completely out of line. He should be supporting your situation and your decision to take some time off and be happy that you have more time to spend at home (if you want to) and that you've been such a hard worker and responsible enough to save money and pay the bills. It's not your fault that he has kids with other women...he needs to realize those kids are his responsiblity whether he likes it or not...and as such, he needs to take care of that responsiblity even if it means working 2 jobs. It sounds like you've really got it together and he would be nowhere with out you...he needs to realize that before he loses you.

Answer 5

he's just stressed as hell.

three child support kids and a car to think of. Plus no money left over while you are stuck paying all the bills.


most men would kinda go nuts, if he was raised thinking he has to take care of you and everything else. It sounds like a masculine problem. Just take your time off and when you get back to work, it may just clear up.


IF not seek counseling, divorce should really be the last thing on your mind, for some reason everyone is crying divorce. You married this man (I hope) because you love him, so when you are going through rough crap, divorce is NOT the answer. work on it.

Answer 6

I'm sure you deserve the time off, he's resentful and you take care of all the bills?? Well its his own fault that had 3 kids and has to pay child support, he should be grateful that he doesn't have to work a third job to help take care of the finances. He doesn't sound that a great catch maybe you should try counseling or seperation and let him see how it feels to be responsible for himself and not have someone else take care of him

Answer 7

First of all, it is not your fault that your company went under. Second, I do nto see anything wrong with taking time off of work. If you can afford to do it, then good for you! And maybe your Husband could find a full time job that pays well, rather then two part time jobs.
Just hang in there and enjoy your time off!!

Answer 8

He's not right. If you are ok with taking time off then do what you feel. It's not your fault that he has to pay child support. It sounds to me that he was resentful all along of his children and ex and not you. He was ok with you busting your a** and paying for everything now that you want to rest he's mad because he feels that his well may run dry. Let him be petty if he wants and ignore him. He's not stupid enough to leave you because he knows you are his nest egg and will be the only one there to help him.

Answer 9

if i were you i would say to him:

1st of all your child supposrt payments are your problem. i should not have to, in any way, contribute to that. you have kids with previous women, that is all you. you wouldnt expect me to mother all those kids would you? no, so why should i have to pay for them.

second i would break down the money in the house. what you pay. what he pays. ( then bring it to his attention that having to do this belittles your marriage, and it should be 50/50). Also let him know that its HIS car loan, not yours.

I think hes more jealous that you save and he doesnt. his previous bad decisions are costing him cash now. its not your problem sweetie. if hes gonna be a jerk about it call him out on it. if he doesnt stop, go out and start spending your hard earned cash on yourself and see how jealous he gets then.

and if he wants to be REALLY immature about it, split it all down the middle. Only pay for your half of everything. i bet if he had to pay half the bills, he couldnt afford it because of all those child support payments.

Answer 10

What part of loving and sharing do you not understand?

When divorce comes do not be surprised and be sure to take the majority of the blame. If you do not want to face divorce then climb down of your high and mighty position and start considering how to becoming more like the loving couple you once were. I assure you that life is much better that way!!!