for example, I have been away twice for long periods of time where I have met girls in hostels etc where I can talk to them click with them and really like them ( I dont just mean pull a bird ina bar)
....yet back home I never find anything like that and find it hard to relate to girls here.
All the girls Ive met away Ive always thought I could have had a relationship with them, but back home, i never feel that way for any girl????
2006-09-01 05:33:23 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Travel ➔ Other - Destinations
omg, does this mean im scared of commitment lol!!!!
2006-09-01 05:42:00 · update #1
Could be the relaxed thing already mentioned. That plus when travelling, the trip itself will always giove you something to talk about.
2006-09-01 05:38:12 · answer #1 · answered by Rockin' Mel S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In hostels, people are generally very open and friendly. They are totally willing to talk to strangers, meet new people, find out about different cultures - they've chosen a trip that involves being open to others. It creates a far more open social dynamic than most other situations, so you easily meet people and make new friends.
However, you don't necessarily really get to know those people. You have one or possibly a few conversations. They may be long and you learn a lot about the person, but much like a first date, everyone is still on best behavior. You don't learn that she... squeezes the toothpaste from the middle; hates cats; is mean to random people at all other times; is needy; etc. You've got one day of her at her best and she seems perfect. Since there's no real hope of commitment or long term relationship, you can both exist in THIS moment and not worry about what it means. You probably don't analyze things as much and relax more - and b/c this can't be long term, you overlook annoying little habits that would drive you mad long term.
The only advice I can give you for life back home is that maybe you should try living in the moment a little more. I DON'T mean you should lead girls on or anything. But try to relax a little more and just have fun with it and see what happens. Don't ask yourself - man, she mispronounces this word, could I live with that for my entire life? Yes, after a few weeks, you need to start thinking more seriously or be explicit about your casual attitude, but don't think of every first date as courtship. Just enjoy them.
It took me a long time to learn this, but a few years ago I decided that I'd just have some fun - I'd say yes when people asked me out that I might not have considered before and I'd make more first moves. It was so much more laid back than I'd ever been and I had so much more fun. AND, the 3rd person I went out with is my fiance.
2006-09-01 12:47:55 · answer #2 · answered by cmc1217 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Travel's a serious aphrodisiac, isn't it? It always seemed to baffle me how I could so easily click with someone while traveling but can never seem to find someone closer to home. While we're traveling, we don't have the normal strings of home tying us down. We're not worried about getting home to walk the dog, the household chores, or, in the case of a vacation, work.
As online travel columnist Rolf Potts writes, " On the road — freed from the dull routines and restrictions of home — you become more open, more daring, more willing to seize the moment. Away from home, the people you meet (be they locals or fellow travelers) seem sexier, more exotic, less repressed — and this makes you feel sexy, exotic, liberated. Freed from your past, happily anonymous, and filled with a sense of possibility, you are never more willing (or able) to fall headlong into a love affair.
As to why you never seem to find anything like that at home, I don't know what your daily life is like but I can guess that you've got some sort of routine. And in many cases that's probably the culprit. You go to the same places every week, you see the same people, and you're fairly busy with your life so you don't venture out to new places as often as you do while traveling. Also, when you do go out, you may do so with a bunch of your friends, which may make it harder for you to meet new people.
Try playing tourist in your own town. Be open-minded. Make a list of things you need to do when you get back home, tack it up on your fridgerator, and then forget about them for the day while you explore your city. Maybe you'll meet someone wonderful!
2006-09-01 13:27:02 · answer #3 · answered by Kiwi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you're bored with the dating scene at home. Sometimes a change of scenery can make a big difference. Or perhaps you're more relaxed while away. The only way to really find out is to move or keep trying. Either way, women like men who are themselves. Be your self and have patience. Good things will happen.
2006-09-01 12:41:10 · answer #4 · answered by nmtgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you are away you are more relaxed because you know the relationship can never go anywhere, and if you make a mistake it doesn't matter because you will never see these women again. When you are at home there is the possibility for a relationship and even if it is subconscious you feel you have to make a good impression because the chances are you will meet these people again.
2006-09-01 12:39:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Backpackers are different group of people, who are generally more relaxed and easy going. Hence they travel a lot they experienced more of different cultures, had different adventures and often have different views on life then someone who never left his/hers hometown. Maybe you should actually try relationship with one of your travel crushes. I now quite a few very happy couples of different nationalities who met in hostels and now they are happily married. Maybe your soulmate is from somewhere else then your country, so give it a try.
2006-09-02 12:03:14 · answer #6 · answered by Rowena D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with orthodox_ted
just try to act the same way around the girls when you are home. you may feel that since you wont see these girls again it wont matter how you act around them so you are more of yourself. maybe the girls where you live are really just completely different than the ones you meet when you go away, or maybe its just cuz they already know who you are, so they already have that first impression.
2006-09-01 12:38:13 · answer #7 · answered by um yea hi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are married then it is possible you aren't ready for commitment and your brain is telling you have an affair, because then if your wife found out you probably wouldnt be commited anymore. Or just settle for a divorce, so you can be a player. lol
2006-09-01 12:36:21 · answer #8 · answered by brunettecinderella900 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you feel relaxed when you're away and you can talk to women better.
Try to have the same attitude with the girls where you live - you may be surprised.
2006-09-01 12:35:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe its because the women you are meeting out of the country are full of that holiday cheer and so they are a lot more relaxed and carefree than people back home. maybe you are just meeting the wrong kind of girls at home
2006-09-01 12:37:08 · answer #10 · answered by Showaddywaddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋