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I am looking for a book on how to deal with a family member going to prison, I need help coping and advice on if I should take my daughter there to see her..

2006-09-01 05:24:30 · 9 answers · asked by S D 1 in Social Science Psychology

Without going into details, this person (my mother) is innocent. She was set up in a situation and because we can not afford the appropriate legal help we can not prove that.

2006-09-01 09:12:16 · update #1

9 answers

I don't have any book recommendations, but there is a WONDERFUL online community for the friends and families of the incarcerated at
http://prisontalk.com/forums/index.php
There you will find support and information from literally thousands of people who either are or have been in your position.
As to your daughter, YES, absolutely she should see her grandmother... I'm a regular visitor at a maximum security prison and I promise that there's nothing menacing about the visiting rooms, except that half the people are all wearing the same clothes, it looks more like a kind of bland cafeteria than what TV has made you think a prison visiting area would look like and most places have games and some toys available. The search when you go in is pretty much like going through security at an airport, annoying but not traumatic and the correctional officers try really hard to make it easier for the kids. It is really, truly not that bad and the alternative is to have your daughter and your mom lose out on a lot of time. Go visit your mom as often as you can, and take your daughter with you.
Best of luck to you and your family.

2006-09-02 01:52:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

I understand that for some people reading about something helps them to relate better but I don't think a book will do anything other than confuse you by the contrast between what you read and what you actually experience.

Some prisons are better than others and some, much worse than a book might mention. Like Brooklyn House and Rikers Island... The womens blocks there, are like animal pens.

It is always a shock, it is always a transition and it is always hard.

Personally, I don't believe that bringing a child into a prison system is good for them. If this person did something wrong, let her, not seeing your child be a part of the punishment that keeps her from ever doing it again.

The child did nothing wrong... It's just not right to subject her to that. It is a brutal, often very unsanitary place and why desensitize her to that kind of atmosphere so young just to make someone else more comfortable?

2006-09-01 05:39:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 2

you have already have been given some wonderful solutions, i might in basic terms upload, attempt to no longer think of approximately this too lots from Grandma's perspective. finally you at the instant are not in her shoes, and your priorities rightly lie with your son. Who can say why we make the ideas we do? they might by no ability make experience to others yet I do have self assurance maximum folk do what they think of is physically powerful, regardless of if no person else sees it that way. Your son has a loving kin who care approximately his protection and Grandma knows he's okay. Her daughter probable has no person, so for Grandma that's the place her loyalty continues to be. My purely suggestion could be to maintain some sort of third party touch with Grandma, by using CAS, and if the area ever differences you could re-examine issues then. till then look after your son as ultimate as you could that's all you're able to do.

2016-11-06 05:33:19 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

there is no book that can prepare you for this struggle. each situation is different. the first thing you must do is accept that they are going to prison, then forgive that person for the dissruption of not only their lives but the whole family's lives. and starting the first day of their incarceration everyone's main concern should be getting this person the neccessary help (for the reason they are there) and to work on the future of when they will be released. above all don't sit and focus on the fact that they are in prison try to turn this horrible situation into something positive.

2006-09-01 05:34:20 · answer #4 · answered by dumbdumb 4 · 0 2

Any book that helps you deal with grieving and loss will help. Your relationship with your mother is changing in a profound way. Not only will you have limited access to her, but you also have to deal with an unjust situation. I would recommend that you get some professional help to get you going in the right direction.

2006-09-01 12:05:23 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah 1 · 0 0

You don't need a book, you just need to face the facts at hand.

Yes, you should take your daughter to see that person. The worst that could happen is your daughter will see, first hand, the consequences of crime.

2006-09-01 05:28:08 · answer #6 · answered by Privratnik 5 · 0 2

"Hello S D! It has been estimated that approximately 1.5 million children have a parent in prison. However, this number misses those youth whose parent is in jail or has recently been released.

Incarceration rates have increased four-fold in the past 30 years, and those who are incarcerated are serving longer sentences (and thus are removed from their families for longer periods of time).

Parental incarceration is not a single event, but a process which begins with criminal activity, progresses through the arrest process, incarceration, and (usually) release. Additionally, incarceration does not signal the beginning of family distress, but usually exacerbates a life that may already be characterized by poverty, stress, and trauma.

The April 2006 issue of The Prevention Researcher focuses on parental incarceration and reentry, and examines ways that we may assist youth through this difficult time.

Parental incarceration may have effects on children that are similar to other forms of separation from parents (e.g., divorce, death), but is unique in that it is highly stigmatized and many children and families affected by parental incarceration come from already disadvantaged backgrounds.

Although, as a group, children with incarcerated parents may be a particularly vulnerable population, not all youth will respond similarly to the experience of parental incarceration and a number of factors may influence how they fare during and after the parent’s incarceration.

Research in this area has been relatively limited, and developing a more solid empirical base of knowledge is vital to developing and refining programs and policies for youth who experience the incarceration of a parent.

Various factors are suggested to promote resilience in children, including self-esteem. Because Girl Scouting engages girls in activities that enhance self-esteem, it is most appropriate to focus on this factor as a part of the research to evaluate the impact of scouting on the resilience of children of incarcerated parents.

Troop 1500, the Enterprising Girl Scouts Beyond Bars Program, is an in-prison mother-daughter visitation program at Hilltop Prison, in Gatesville, Texas, and one of over 40 Beyond Bars programs in the U.S.

Programming for Troop 1500 is designed using a resilience framework, and self-esteem enhancement as a major focus. Research evaluation findings suggest that while there does not seem to be a relationship between girls' attitude towards their incarcerated mothers and girls' self-esteem at pretest, there is evidence of a modest relationship between these variables after one year.

Participation in the program seems to enable girls to begin to formulate healthier and more realistic conceptualizations of their mothers and their relationships with their mothers, and in turn, over time, the girls’ sense of self and self-esteem improves.

The impact of witnessing and living with the arrest and incarceration of a parent is overwhelming for children and families. Until recently, these young people had not been recognized as a specific group with special needs, and there is little knowledge about what interventions might measurably improve their prospects in life. Recently, numerous efforts have begun to assist youth who have a parent in prison.

This article begins by exploring the Children of Promise-- Mentors of Hope mentoring program, modeled on the successful Amachi Program in Philadelphia. It then explores, in depth, The Children of Incarcerated Parents: A Bill of Rights. The "Bill of Rights" was developed from interviews with young people who had experienced parental incarceration. It includes eight "rights" and action steps which can help those who work with youth visualize how the rights might be implemented."

2006-09-01 05:41:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

Books aren't going to solve all your problems. You learn from over time. It's Reality live with it.

2006-09-01 06:49:01 · answer #8 · answered by Kami 2 · 0 2

The Bible

2006-09-01 05:48:35 · answer #9 · answered by Cat Commander 3 · 1 0

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