Friendship problems?

Question

I have 2 close friends - one is super demanding with very arguable to her utmost rights who expects everything to be told to her; while another is rather sweet but very selfish. I want to maintain this friendship but very hard. I feel the pressure each time we meet and it seems everything has changed since we've grown older. The first one demands the most, and i've never seen anyone as demanding as her. She always claims that im her best friend. Are friends supposed to be like this? Serious answers please. Thanks.

Answer 1

Frens mean a sense of belonging... or u can call it a gang.... your super demand fren keep cliaming u are her best fren so that she can selfishly influence to stick w her thru thick and thin n help her when she need it (it also mean she is insecure cos she had no ther frens)... but did she really treat u as a fren or just using u .. i think u have to feel it in your heart... the other selfish but sweet gal... i think u can still be frens but may not best frens.. cos frens shld not be selfish.. but rather learn to accomadate and to learn from one another.. i showed thrumy actions to a selfish gal and in turn she taught me how to defence other ppl and also to think far.. in the end.. we are truely best frens and know each other and even though we may have different views.. we can still be understanding and stand together...u really have to feel the feeling btw u and ur frens...

Answer 2

No, friends are not suppose to be like this at all. Friends are suppose to be there equally for eachother and not selfish or demanding of eachother. They sound very childish to me and the fact that things have changed probably for the worse since you have grown older is not a sign that they are growing up and changing for the better. There are millions of people out there to be friends with and that will be the friend that a friend should be. I understand you wanting to make these friendships work and you are wanting to maintain what you have with them both..... but sometimes you have to let go and move on to people that are real and that are there as much for you as you are for them. Blessed be.........

Answer 3

This is kinda difficult to answer because I am one who believes that we will hardly ever find a real true friend in life. I don't really think many people know what being a real friend means. Friendship is not about demanding things from each other, it is about loving, caring, sharing and being there no matter what. That is why it is so hard to find. If they are both "good friends" to you, then sit them down and tell them how you feel. Explain to the demanding one that you love her like a sister, but you are your own person and she doesn't need to put so much pressure on you about things. Tell the selfish one the same thing, except let her know that friends share with each other and she seems to be getting "to all about herself lately". Good luck

Answer 4

Ya know, I kind of have a friend who is 'demanding' too...she is like my best friend right now..she is just kind of picky, always wanting to do what SHE wants..stuff like that...it really does get to me actually. but I guess I just deal with her because I've been friends with her for over 10 years and I just love her so much as a friend. She has always been there for me too whenever I have needed her. It's hard though because I know you feel like friends aren't supposed to act that way. I would try to "lay low" a little in the hanging out department (just to give you guys some space from each other). That's kind of what I am doing...spending time doing other things and other people a little more. Then when we do see each other it is more of an exciting thing to hang out instead of same old (demanding, etc.) I guess I would also tell them how you feel...maybe they don't even see it! hope this helps!!

Answer 5

It seems that your demanding friend is possessive over you.She wants you to be with her all the time, and probably angry if she sees you hanging around with your other close friend.Meanwhile, your other friend who's very selfish might have the same attitude as your demanding friend.So it's more like a selfish person against another selfish person and you're caught in the middle.You like your selfish friend because she's sweet and caring.But it seems to me that it's your two friends can't get along with each other.You're like a wall barrier to them.
Close friends aren't supposed to be like this.Why don't you try to talk to each one of them and find out what is it that make them feel uncomfortable whenever you three meet each other.

Answer 6

If you are questioning the friendship it may not be what it should be. All friends that you have give you something different in life. For example you may have a friend that is a good listener and give you great advice. Where one of your other friends may be the person thats great at encouraging you or giving you the boost you need. So just sit back a rervaluate weather these are the type of friends to keep around

Answer 7

Well if she is your true friend if talk to her about how you feel she won't get mad at you but try to work it out. You may not agree on everything but that doesn't matter just don't argue. A real friend would just agree to disagree. Also a real friend is not going to expect that you tell her everything and she must be as up to date on your life as you are. Not every secret is meant to be shared with everyone and sometimes personal things take people some time to share, not because they don' trust the perosn but because they themselves aren't ready to share it. If she is your friend she will understand this.

Answer 8

To me, friends are supposed to be there for each other and over time provide a more or less equal exchange of pleasure and support. I'm not saying that you have to keep score of favors given and received or good days vs' bad. I think it's just that over time things SHOULD naturally even out. Also, because of this trend you SHOULDN'T usually need to question the relationship. The questions you are asking indicate to me that something is not right. Doesn't mean it can't be fixed though. Good luck.

Answer 9

ya, u have the person in every group... in my group i have an arstistic shy but crazy minded, i'm the 1 that does the craZ stuff my friend tells me to do but i always appear as the leader because i'm boisterous and outgoing, my other friend is very moody but understanding, then there's the bloosthirsty anime loving 1, the athletic pretty and funny one, the craZ flirt, then the annoying flirt. We all get into arguments and ask for things and drive each other nuts but when worst comes to worst we're there for each other to comfort and stick up to others. Hope this helps

Answer 10

yea... Some friends are like this. Im kinda like that... I demand the best things in life, for myself and from my friends. I will argue for my rights... She is probably alot like me... but Im also the best kind of friend to have, because if anyone Ever trashed one of my friends... Id be right there in their face cussing them out for doing so. Im also selfish sometimes, but when it comes to my friends, Im always there to listen, Im always there to advise, and Im always there during their rough times. I expect the SAME from my friends. Any friend I've ever had that has said or done something to me that was wrong... I make them see how wrong it was and then I dump them as a friend. MY Friends will be loyal to me, as I am to them. And if they arent... then they arent really good friends.