my husband do not like to go out and do nothing what should I do?

Answer 1

Please ignore that first answer as this is much more complicated than either accepting behavior he had when you met and married or new behavior requiring "downtime".

It sounds to me like you are more worried about your husband than in the way the others took it as your being worried regarding him doing stuff with you or not. It is possible your husband is depressed and this is not a laughing matter or one of little consequence. Life is precious and if he is unable to gain enjoyment from it he will suffer and become ever more depressed and damaged. The more depressed he becomes the worst the apathy will become. He could become and danger to himself and to you and your children if you have any. Some, men more than women, but women have been known to do this too, will love their families so deeply they will take them with them if they committ suicide, rather than leave them behind in a world they perceive as only filled with pain. I do not wish to alarm you but it could be very serious indeed. A woman I grew up with married her highschool sweetheart. Barbara was her name. They had three boys together, 12,7, and eighteen months old. He was sufferring from serious depression, had been in the mental ward once for threatening suicide. However, they could only keep him thirtysix hours for observation and then had to let him go unless a doctor could say he was a serious danger to others. However, even doctors make mistakes and who would believe somebody would do this. Plus, he was good at reasurring others of all he had to live for, his family and mother who lived across the street. Well, one night about two days later while his family lay sleeping he took an ax and whacked his wife and two younger children in the head. They died instantly and in their sleep thank God. However, his eldest son woke and his father chased him down and cornered him in the hallway before killing him. How horrific to have your own father chase you with an ax, with the sure knowlege he was aiming to kill you as he had your mother and brothers. He then took a gun and shot himself in the head. His widowed mother(he was her only child, these were her only grandchildren) had to call the police as when she went over the next morning for coffee as she alwasy did nobody answered the door. She saw the car in the garage, the older boys bicycles in the yard (they rode them to school each morning) and when they police came they found them and had to give her this news. She collapsed on the ground from a heart attack but survived. How she survived with her entire family dead I will never know, but thinking of her makes me so sad even twelve years later.

Listen, your husband may be depressed. It is possible he may have just gotten himself into a rut, but even that can be dangerous. Life is for living, not stewing or molding on the coach watching sports or other shows. Life should be vibrant and have excitement and anticipation in it. Life should have growth.

I strongly suggest you speak with your husband. Voice your concerns, tell him you are worried about him. One way you can tell if he is depressed is if this apathy has been gettng worse over the last six months. Has he stopped seeking sex with you? People who are depressed lose interest in more things than outside activities. Is he becoming more withdrawn, not speaking as much as he use to? These are all signs of increasing depression.

If you do think he is depressed encourage him to seek out medial attention. Medication helps millions of people every year get out of depression. Men are much less likely than women to seek out treatment though, so it may be difficult to get him to see the doctor and then to take the medication afterwardds. But just stay on him and as the medicine works have activities planned which you can do on the spur of the moment, like go to the movies, or bowling, or whatever he likes the most. Even if you don't care much for it go with him and then he will be more likely to go and do stuff you enjoy and he doesn't enjoy as much. But that is later as life comes more joyfully for him.

Now, if you don't think it is depression, just him getting stuck in a rut, tell him you are worried about this rut he seems to be in, that he doesn't seem to enjoy the things he once did. Tell him you want him to get out with his friends, or take him for a walk as a start. Tell him how much you love him and want him to be happy. Ask him if he still loves you or if he is struggling with lost feelings. Love can be reborn again, as it is normal for love to fluctuate over the course of a long term relationship. He may not be aware this is normal and you can get past it and have your love grow deeper and stronger than ever. If you work together and don't allow yourselves to have distance grow between the two of you.

The patterns of life can become a boring repitition and we can feel we are missing out on something vital, or that we lost something vital within ourselves. When this happens we can first fall into apathy and then turn from our spouses thinking we are not "in love" with them any longer. This is a horrible misconception of the cycles of a long term relationship and causes more late years divorces than anything else. What others call a midlife crisis is simply people caught in a rut, thinking they "fell out of love" during a down swing of feelings which is a normal fluctuation. If not dealt with appropriatly, men have affairs or just leave all together. These men are all in a new relationshp before the year is out. It is not marriage they don't want, it is a new vitality to life, and they wrongly assume the love or spark has left the relationship they are currently in. What a tragedy and how easily it is to avoid if both partners are aware of how the cycles work in a long term relationship.

I encourage you to communicate with your husband. Tell him how much you love him, how valued he is. Do little things to show him this, encourage hiim to talk about work, watch what he is watching, hold his hand. Initiate sex with him and don't get discouraged if he rebuffs you at first. Go slowly and soon you will have brought the "spark" back into your marriage.

I have spoken with many couples who broke up after many years of marriage, then (thank goodness) when the second relatioship fizzled quickly and contact was often due to the children, they began speaking and before either realized the "spark" was back and they got back together. Sadly, too many get into relationships which do end up working, simply due to the vitality the difference brings, the fact they have to perform for the new partner and have zest for life. But, had they just worked through the down slide and worked to bring back their spark the marriage would have survived to go on to deeper depths.

I think you are in a crisis with your marriage. This is more than simple and needs action. I suggest you find a counselor for yourself to give yourself somebody who you can talk with and help you work on bringing the spark back for your husband. He is a bit lost right now and your marriage needs a hero. You have to obe the hero this time. A counselor will be able to help give you diretion, advice, and be there to listen to your worrys and fears. This person will not discuss your visits or tell anyone in your family or town due to confidentuality. So you are safe to vent and get through this with support for yourself while you save your marriage.

I wish you all the happiness and joy life can bring. Please take this as more serious than your husband simply not being interested in activities. Anytime a person loses zest for life, it is a danger sign of something much deeper being wrong. Good luck and much success bringing your marriage and your husband back to life. If you don't another woman will.

Answer 2

Is he overweight too? Does he have any well-being situations? it ought to haven't any more some thing to do with your weight. it ought to nicely be all on him. He would not cuddle because his libido is shot. notwithstanding, your own idea of your self is harsh he ought to no longer experience like it. for instance, perchance some months in the past he tried somewhat some thing, yet you suggested some thing like no do not seem ( some thing like that ) perchance he thinks you do not choose him. yet in case you want my opinion, that is that this: do for your self! in case you want to get healthful then commence, it is going to rev your sexcontinual up which I continuously locate maximum adult males love, get a clean haircut. take excitement on your loose time and your existence. Making your self chuffed ought to impact how he sees you and also you need to develop into more effective alluring, no matter when you're skinny or fat happiness is horny. even as i replaced into at my greatest I had the worst year of my existence, my husband did not even prefer to stay with me. It wasn't basically because i replaced into fat, yet I wasn't chuffed with my existence. So I stop my activity, all started doing issues that i love doing, i'm checking out to be a own coach next month, and that i ought to really have lost 20 lbs yet i'm a lot in good structure and happier and evidently my husband needs me again. yet i'm chuffed basically being me and it shows.

Answer 3

He is your loved one.. know what he like to do most... u can bring him to do the activites u and him did before to relive the good old days or get into a new activity together.. that is what m parents did cos my dad dun like to go out... but he still willing to accompany my mum for her activites.. though there might be still small quarrels but after all this.. the love blossoms more stonger... so why not ask him his passion or hobbies and engage in an activity together???

Answer 4

Is this recent behavior or has he always been like this?

If he's always been like this, well then you knew that about him before you married him, so stop complaining and just go out with your girls instead!

If this is something new, then he might just need a lil downtime right now. People go through stages. Just stay home with him and make it a blockbuster night OR still go out with your girls!

Answer 5

I'd do what I want to. Going out or staying in....
You need to do what is right for you. Live your life for you once in a while. You should have your own interest & be yourself!

Answer 6

LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE, HE DON'T HAVE TO BE ATTACHED AT THE HIP. I STARTED TAKING TRIPS ON MY OWN, MY HUSBAND CAME AROUND..........

Answer 7

try to go places that you know he likes, if that feels then go with your girlfriends

Answer 8

Either accept him as he is, or leave him.