have a friend like much and would like to help. She's divorced, has a lovely 12 yo daughter that lives with her. Her husband lives w/ another woman and the problem is the girls likes a lot her dad's partner. This makes my friend mad. She says the girl behaves better when at her dads house. Sometimes she has to ground the girl, but when she does something wrong at her dad's house, his partner just says, Hun, this was not right, I'll explain why, and the girl listens and obeys. The girl spent the last Saturday at father's house and his partner took the girl went to a lingerie store to get her first bra. When she came back, her mom, almost had a nervous break down, threw a bad tantrum over her girl first bra: You betrayed me, you're a nasty daughter, cause of that ***** you deprived me of such important moment for a mom, etc She destroyed one of the bras and locked the girl in her room for the whole Sunday. The girl is feeling guilty, is depressed and wants to leave my friend.
2006-09-01 04:41:23 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think I got all of that. This happens ALL of the time where the place the kids are visiting is much better than the place they live (with their mom). In my experience, the mom has a sitdown conversation with the dad and his girlfriend to lay down the ground rules to maintain consistency between the two houses. The girlfriend of the dad was totally out of line and NEW EXACTLY WHAT SHE WAS DOING.......trying to hurt your friend. Tell your friend to meet with her ex and his girlfriend to talk over common rules between houses and to tell the girlfriend to butt-out when it comes to serious things like the first bra.
2006-09-01 04:51:23 · answer #1 · answered by Joey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your friends frustration but she should not have taken it out on her daughter. The friend and the father have to come to agreement on crossing the line. The daughter is being put in the middle. The friends needs to find out what is being done differently at her house and the father's house that the child is obeying them and not her. Children are something. They are going to react positive when they are being treated the way they want to be treated and negative to want they don't like. I said that to say that she may being obeying them because they give her want she want and when she wants it. She knows is she disobeys then she don't get. And the father knows that he gets to send her back to her mom. There could be a lot of reason for this. Communication is the key with children not tantrums. The friend may needs to let the child go to stay with the day for a few. The child and the dad may see that the grass is not always greener on the other side. It may change their attitudes and the father may see things the way the mom sees them.
2006-09-01 12:21:09 · answer #2 · answered by Eunice D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a terrible situation for a little girl, not very fair. You must talk to your friend, she is borderline abusing the little girl, she has issues that she needs to deal with that she is taking out on her daughter,no wonder the little girl likes the gf better. Maybe she should move in with her father or maybe if possible you or someone else. Either way it sounds like her mother could use some personal space,good luck
2006-09-01 11:47:39 · answer #3 · answered by jennifer b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that is a hard one. you need to tell your friend she better stop taking her anger of the other women out on her daughter or she will looser her. one, if her daughter needed a bra she should have already took her to get it. 2. if she is on speaking terms with her x maybe she should talk to him that she feels his girlfriend is trying to take her place. 3. instead of yelling at her daughter she should sit down and tell her how she feels and let her know she loves her very much. you know as well as i do the other women is only doing all this because its his daughter. but your friend really needs to stop punishing her daughter or she will just push her closer to the other women. i know because i have been their when i left the father of my child he found another woman but i wont let my son go to his house as long as she is their but my reasons are a lot different. when i meet my fiance and he moved in he treats my son like his own and they love each other but when his father comes over my fiance backs off and let them spend time together it was very awkard at first but now we all have a great relationship my fience and my x get a long great because the father of my child knows he is still daddy and my finace loves my child also and takes great care of him. it will work out for your friend but you really need to sit down and have a good talk with her or that other women will end up raising her child. good luck.
2006-09-01 12:15:03 · answer #4 · answered by parrotsarenoisy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋