I am 33 years old and I no longer have my husband, and would prefer to never think about sex again but I am constantly sexually charged and its REALLY annoying! Is there anyway, OTHER then "self service" or going out for a one nighter that I could get rid of the ... shall we say.. arousal?
2006-09-01 04:35:48 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For the record, I'm not into women, Yes, he DID leave me and cheat on me but the reason that I want to turn it off is from life experiance. I fell in love with a man since my divorce and I am a Christian. My relationship with this man needs to be Christ centered and not oooh baby baby..... Thats not how you get to know someone. I have been in too many relationships where sex got involved and BOOM, the relationship was killed! I want it to be REAL. The man I love, if we EVER got to a place where the "M" word was involved, that first night together after marriage would be WOW!!!! WOW WOW WOW.... not, ok, lets do it again.... Does that make more sense? Oh, and the Sex toy thing is an issue because I can't keep my mind from thinking about him and the Bible says that if you even look at someone in a lustful way you are commiting adultry with them.. SOO, that being said, going solo would pop him in my brain and screw it up for me...
2006-09-01 04:59:19 · update #1
Fall back on your Christian faith... you pray for strength and guidance, and have faith that God will deliver the man that He wants in your life.
2006-09-01 05:09:28 · answer #1 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. Sexual arousal is part of the human condition. To say you would prefer never to think about sex again is like saying you would prefer not to need to eat. Sure, not eating would save a lot of time and money, but it's just not biologically possible. You are attempting to deny a part of your human nature, and it just can't be done.
A better solution would be to honestly examine what has given you such a negative opinion of sex. I'm guessing your husband hurt you badly in some way relating to sex, such as cheating on you. But, you should look at whatever happened as just one bad thing, not something that you should change your whole way of thinking over. Someday, you may find love with someone safe and good, and when that day comes, you will be glad you were never able to turn off your desire for sex.
2006-09-01 04:51:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for you. Sex has been made to be interpreted as a dirty word anymore, especially in the christian arena. Your former husband is a jerk for having cheated on you, but don't associate that terrible experience with sex in general! Be patient and someday the right guy will come along and your feelings of arousal will be reciprocated in the way it was intended! Until then, don't get hung up on masturbation. It's not wrong for christians to do so, and is actually a healthy release! ENJOY!
2006-09-01 05:38:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to waste your life like that? I'm in the same boat...just divorcing, but the only thing that helps is knowing that my life isn't over...your too young to think along those lines. You had a bad relationship, don't be a pesamist, you could end up with an awesome guy who really loves and cares for you. Don't go out and have sex just to have it, you'll only feel bad about yourself later, but don't shut the door either, your way too young. Read a book, not hot steamy romance ones either, try Dean Koontz, hang out with friends and stop thinking it's over when it's really just beginning.
2006-09-01 04:41:20 · answer #4 · answered by sasha 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Its a physiological need and if you dont 'attend' to it every so often you end up getting a little imbalanced without being aware. You'd start noticing that you are more irritable, impatient, less tolerant etc. Self service is one of the ways to resolve it but you could try innovative ways just to accept it and make it interesting. I dont know if it worth considering being with a lady for the simple reason that they probably will understand you better.....occupy your day with a host of activities so that you come home tired. For the weekends, cultivate some hobbies but dont let go of the drive altogether....its great for stress relief and everyone needs one now and then
2006-09-01 04:46:37 · answer #5 · answered by sensa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest bringing this up with a Christ-centered counselor (preferrably a marriage counselor) where you can talk about these issues and get them settled.
It's hard to be a single Christian and not think about sex since our culture and entertainment industry is saturated in sex. I know the feeling and I can empathize with you because I have had the same feeling. Just pray about it and hand it to God.
2006-09-01 05:16:09 · answer #6 · answered by chrstnwrtr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the 1st Stone by ability of Don Aker became one in all my favourites. i became going to propose any of Ellen Hopkin's books, yet you of course already have. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by ability of Stephen Chbosky became yet another solid e book. additionally, i think Ellen Hopkins has a sparkling e book - possibly even 2 - which at the instant are not on your checklist. i do no longer think of i'm lots help. I often skipped teenager fiction and went for person fiction. yet, wish you're benefit from the books I listed!
2016-11-06 05:27:32 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Id say get a hobby and try to saty busy but I doubt that will take the feelings away. One night stands might just make it worse so Id stay with the self service even if its not quite as fulfilling. Is there a reason you arent dating again?
2006-09-01 04:44:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot fight your urges. That is not to say you have to have sex. Sexual energy is given to us, it is a normal thing. I will go a bit farther and say, God gave it to you. There is nothing wrong with self gratification. It hurts no one. You will not have to chew your arm off to get away from it, and there is no guilt, or worry if you'll call yourself the next day. The key is that it is perfectly normal, even for a Christian. Your minister will tell you the same thing, but add a stupid bit of advice like pray about it. What is there to pray about, God gave you the drive and the control to do what you will.
2006-09-01 05:38:49 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
toys and self services as you said.Best way to avoid meetign and dealing with human race. Seems you are i nthe mood to shut the world off and not allow others in so be ready to please yourself and settle for that .When you feel its time ot allow others back in , the nenjoy and have fun til lthen roll with the punches.
I Know the feeling well and wish you best of luck.I am 42 yrs old and been there done that already need to.If you like to talk mastad64@yahoo.com
2006-09-01 04:41:59 · answer #10 · answered by Glenn T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is all in the mind.....My man was locked up for 6 months and my hormones were popping like crazy and after a while I wouldn't think about it and not once did I cheat on him.....so you can control it....just have fun....do things that interest you and makes you happy....
2006-09-01 04:43:34 · answer #11 · answered by MZ.LANDA 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋