I am in the lifestyle and some of the women I have met seem to do it for their man. I am just trying to get others opinions on it.
2006-09-01 04:24:46 · 11 answers · asked by apudendum 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In an informal survey of swingers, when asked the question "who's idea was it to swing" nearly 40% of the time it was the woman's idea.
It always has to be a mutual agreement though. Noone, man or woman, should do something they don't want to just to make their spouse happy. Being in the Lifestyle you know from experience you can tell those that one person it doing it for the other, and like most of us, you probably stear clear of them because of the potential for drama.
Many women find though that the Lifestyle liberates them and helps them to shed old guilt about being sexy. For this reason, although men bring it up about 60% of the time to the woman, it is the woman that really gets the most out of it.
2006-09-01 11:30:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a sucessful swinging relationship, it requires both partners to be involved. This is a lifestyle that enhances the marriages of most of those that are involved, not because of the sexual freedom, but because the sexual freedom requires honest and open communication. Nost of the people that say swinging ruined my marriage, got into swinging to try to save a failed marriage- this will not work. If the proper basis for the lifestyle are not there from the begining, with both partners being equals, it is a recipe for failure.
2006-09-02 22:28:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my situation it was me who suggested it. I have a very large sexual appetite and can go for hours and hours and hours on end which is difficult for one man to satisfy. It tends to make the man I'm with feel less than adequate. The lifestyle definitely help to satisfy my hunger. The only problem I found with the lifestyle is so many of the women are bi and/ or lesbian. It actually ended up being fine.. they could all do each other while their men looked after me.
2006-09-01 04:28:29 · answer #3 · answered by puresatin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the only way you can do this in a truly healthy way is if you are giving this gift of sexual freedom to one another, and accepting that gift with humility and grace. If one or both partners are merely interested in "looking out for #1" at the expense of his or her spouse's well-being, then that's just a disaster waiting to happen.
Likewise, you can't martyr yourself - men OR women! The decision MUST be made equally, and both parties MUST be equally enthusiastic, mature and honest. It needs to be done in a balanced way or not at all. Go into something like this unbalanced and it won't be long before you find yourselves in a speed wobble!
BTW, homermisc2006...playing solo without your wife's knowledge, approval and encouragement is not called swinging. It's just plain old cheating. The fact that you'd screw multiple people at once doesn't make you a swinger.
2006-09-02 16:31:58 · answer #4 · answered by intuition897 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a good question. I have always wanted to try swinging but my wife does not want to think about it. It is hard to find a couple that wants to swing with a married man alone, especially when his wife does not know anything about it.
I would rather have sex with a married lady than a single lady, because you know it is going to be more discreet.
2006-09-01 04:37:36 · answer #5 · answered by homermisc2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is referred to as taking one for the group. of direction women human beings won't understand, using fact your spouse go right into a point of believe with you not all women human beings might dare to. you probable do not desire to stand the certainty that your a great guy, and your spouse in no way met every physique such as you. elementary evaluate your self to something human beings pigs. the enormous photograph isn't approximately you. Your purely a gadget in this. Your spouse sees her mom depressed, and wager what, you could help. Your there to help regain her self belief back, and not something. in case you only have intercourse- you have failed. Romance my pal, teach her a great time, make her sense such as you will possibly do your maximum suitable. And compliment on what a remarkable daughter she raised. And if she does desire intercourse, then gain this yet concentration on her, have her instruct you, you instruct her. Then be helping on the tip using fact this is while **** brakes loose. don't be overwhelmed below the placement your below, stay to tell the story factor and safeguard issues like gentleman in case you desire to attain this.
2016-10-01 04:24:02 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in it because I want to. Hubby may have been the one to suggest it, but I do it because I want to. I know what you are talking about though, many of the couples we have met in the lifestyle seem mismatched. many times it is the man in it because the woman wants to play.
2006-09-01 06:42:14 · answer #7 · answered by funseeker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At first - it was my husbands idea.
We got very active in the lifestyle for about a year.
I only see 1 guy now, and my husband does not care to be with another gal anymore...he just never got comfortable with that.
To answer your question - at first, it was for my husband. Now - its for BOTH of us....we have a wonderful relationship.
Good luck
2006-09-01 04:30:28 · answer #8 · answered by Paul and Dawn P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In general, I'd say that if the woman is bi, then she's just as into it as the man. If she's 100% straight, it's mostly the man's idea.
There are exceptions to everything, but that's usually the case.
2006-09-01 04:41:37 · answer #9 · answered by Steven S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe they would do it if they didn't want to. It is a way of knowing what their husband is up to instead of him out cheating with some strange woman. If I were doing something like that I would be getting something out of it otherwise I would not do it.
2006-09-01 05:04:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋