is my partner doing the right thing by reporting her father to the police?

Question

her father is an alcoholic and has been dry for nine years but has recently been back on the bottle.
problem being he has been driving the grandkids around and we have found empty bottles in his car.
partner has called police and given his reg. no and asked them to be on the lookout and breathalyse him at any opportunity.

sorry, of course i totally agree she done th right thing , meant to ask -
should she have told him this was what she was going to do or kept quiet about it?
should he know he will be stopped every time he gets behind the wheel?

Answer 1

So far the only sensible, non-reactive answer in this whole post was the person who said to stop letting the grandchildren ride with him, take the keys away and talk with him BEFORE involving the police.

I can't believe how many people are getting all excited that she called the cops... and saying it was the right thing.

Her father battled alcoholism and was successful at it for nine years, right? Doesn't he deserve the respect of at least a conversation and an intervention first? I agree that drunk driving is very bad, and putting your own grandchildren in danger is even worse. But your wife owes her father more care and true concern. She should try to help him get into a program, not complicate his life even more.

And one more thing. If the grandfather is 'driving the children around' either it's because he cares about spending time with him or he's doing you guys a favor and babysitting. Either way he's being a good grandfather. He just has a problem. A dangerous problem. But at this point it's something that should be solved by loving family support, not forced police involvement.

But yes, take away his keys until this is resolved!

Answer 2

She has done absolutely the right thing. And there is no point telling him what she has done.

I would also suggest that she speaks to the mother of the children (not sure if it is her or not) and tell her she suspects he is taking them in the car when he is drunk. Then the mum can STOP them going in the car with him.

It is far too dangerous and if he does not stop he might well kill or seriously injure someone - even his own grandchildren.

Is there anyone that can speak to her father - if he has been dry for so long, what has happened to make him hit the bottle again. Whilst he is commiting a crime, perhaps he needs someone to talk to about his problem also?

Good luck to her and I hope he gets caught very soon. Or STOPS what he is doing.

Answer 3

The #1 role of law enforcement is public safety. You know that you have some degree descretion of how you think it is best to enforce the law. Sometimes a simple warning works other times you issue tickets or bring someone in.

Your partner is using the method she thinks is best to enforce the law. I would do the same thing.

It is NOTHING personal against her father. What if her father killed the kids, himself, or others due to drinking and driving. Then not only would she feel guilty for not preventing it, she would not be performing her duties as an officer.

By the way, I am no goody goody but that is the answer I would give in the police oral board.

Answer 4

Drinking and driving is a very stupid and dangerous thing to do. So, yes, she is. Tell the grandkids not to get in a car with him at all, ever, until he goes through AA again. Tell him that the police have got his details. He may think twice before putting the key in the ignition next time.

Answer 5

YES, she is doing the right thing and NO the grandkids should NOT be allowed in a car with this man.

However, I highly doubt the police have the time to track and follow one specific license plate number. So it probably didn't do a damn thing, unless he gets pulled over on his own account, they may have record of her call.

Answer 6

Someone should tell him something. Not for his benefit but for the kids. That's messed up of him to drive those kids around while he is drinking. What if something happens? How will that make you feel knowing he was doing this and you didn't try and stop him? Sorry I'm not trying to be hard but but someone needs to knock some sense into this guy.

Answer 7

Yes she is doing the right thing. She is possiblly saving a life, definately saving the lives of the grand kids and her father. He needs help and is a danger to others on the road and in the car with him. He will get a ban and will possibly get a stint in recovery which is a good thing.

Answer 8

You should tell her to take alternate steps. Calling the cops wont solve it. because - God forbid- hes driving the grandkids around drunk and something happens before the cops can get to him. Step in, let it be known to the family that hes drinking and driving and seek some help for him whether he is willing or not

Answer 9

I hope she has talked to the parents of the grandkids and told them so that they will not ride with him. And I hope she has talked to him about getting some help. I hope she would take more drastic measures to keep him from driving.

And yes, she is doing the right thing by reporting her father if all else has failed.

Answer 10

I don't think she should call the police, not right away, first you should make sure the grandkids are not left alone with him, and maybe have a word with him about his drinking and ask him to hand over his car keys untill he dries out again.