So me and my husband move to texas about two years ago im originaly from california i left all my family to come and be with him even if all his family was ganna be here. last year we spend christmas and new years with my family i feel like this is fair because we see his family all the time . and he told me that this year if i wanted to see my family for the holidays i should go by myself. this makes me feel so bad that it doesnt matter to him if we are together or not. his mom is always trying to make him feel guilty for going with expressions like if you go i'll be dead when you come back or im goin to mexico for christmas and you have to go with me couse im old and i cant go by myself. so last night he wanted some anal sex and i said if you want it you have to promise that you will go with me to california for the holidays with no hessitation he said "NO" so i need to know am i wrong for wanting hi to spend the holidays with me is it ok to spend them apart please help me !!
2006-09-01 03:42:57 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He doesn't care about your feelings; you need to dump him! Find someone who cares about you. Good luck.
2006-09-01 03:45:15 · answer #1 · answered by doc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not wrong for you to want to spend holidays with your hubby! It sounds like he is only concerned with his family. The least he could have done was offer to go to your family's maybe the weekend before or after the holiday (if there's a scheduling conflict). Sounds like his mamma needs to "pop the titty out of the boys mouth and let him grow up". He is an adult and is married. P.S. Way to go witholding the anal sex, since he said no. The best way to go would be find some sort of compromise, for the holidays. If you are both willing to do that, you will find a solution to your holiday woes. You will also learn to use compromise in other areas of disagreement. Try this instead of fighting (say, let's see if we can come up with a compromise). Guys usually don't mind this, since they know it is better than having their wife pissed off at them for a week.
2006-09-01 10:53:35 · answer #2 · answered by ps 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does having anal sex and spending the holiday's togehter have to do with each other. You made the choose to move did you tell him when you married him that the only time he could have anal sex with you was if he spent the holiday with you and your family. Talk about being selfish. Your the QUEEN of SELFISH.
2006-09-01 10:52:54 · answer #3 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex did the same thing to me. His family first. Nothing left over for me. As you see he is an "ex" now. If he can't be fair then you have some decisions to make. When he married you, you became his family. His mother then became a secondary family. He sounds like a mama's boy. Set some ground rules, and if he doesn't stick too them you need to find someone who will.
Good Luck
2006-09-01 10:48:49 · answer #4 · answered by cinson1999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, the holidays are not your problem.
1) Point out to your Mother that blackmail is unkind
2) You won't be married for much longer (unless you are a complete doormat) so polish your resume.
3) Anal sex is very unhealthy. Ask your Doctor.
2006-09-01 10:47:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let his mom know it's not acceptable to threaten to kill herrself just because your son is going out of town for a weekend, sounds like maybe your husband and his family have some deeper issues than go beyond spending time with your family. Maybe you should take a harder look at your relationship before things take a turn for the worse, such dysfunction unfortunately eventually leads to control and abuse.
2006-09-01 10:44:59 · answer #6 · answered by live2ride 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No you are not wrong.. absolutely.. but why don't you find a middle street?? for example Christmas with his family and Easter with yours and Summer only you two guys??
Or one year Christmas with yours and one with his..family.. then Easter with his and one with yours.. and so on..Or why you don't carry his mother with you? so you will be all toghether and all of you will be happy???
I don't think that he doesn't want to spend holidays with you or he doesn't think about you.. but only MEN are selfish.. don't you know??
2006-09-01 10:50:02 · answer #7 · answered by tufty2310 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One never use sex to win an argument it puts you in the same class as hookers. Two,you have two sets of parents,as much as it sucks you have to alternate the hollidays,three his mother sounds like she is a lot of fun,she still wants to be the number one lady in his life,the only thing you can do is out-class her and or out live her.
2006-09-01 10:53:35 · answer #8 · answered by blondecarpenter@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ur married so it would be nice to spend it together but u shouldn't have to beg him to go.. have a sit down w/him and let him know that holidays r important to u and it's obvious that u want to spend it w/ur family and he wants to spend it w/his and because the family is in diff states u and him both should compromise....
1yr ur w/his and the next he's w/u and urs... just rotate every year or every holiday...
2006-09-01 10:47:30 · answer #9 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd definately go if I were you. Sounds like he's pretty darn selfish! He could be testing you to see how much control he has over you, and if thats the case you should show him you wont be "controlled" and just go. If thats not the case, then maybe he just really doesn't care, and why would you want someone like that??? Put your foot down girl!
2006-09-01 10:50:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i were you, i would go spend time with my family. you are already shoved up his ***. take some time with your people, your fiends, etc. have a nice holiday with your family because that is what makes you happy. it does not mean there is a problem in your relationship JUST because you spend a few days apart
2006-09-01 10:48:16 · answer #11 · answered by insane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋