My friend L's ex got her pregnant in her senior yr of college. He didn't want her to keep the baby, but she didn't want an abortion, and almost chose adoption, but her parents said they'd help her, so she kept it.
She graduated, moved home, and had her baby. Now he is 2. L is miserable living with her parents, who aren't as supportive as they had promised, and are often mean to her. She works part-time in a store at the mall, and barely earns enough to pay her bills (this is w/o having to pay rent, etc).
Myself and others keep telling her to get child support from the father (50+ miles away), but she is afraid he will get partial custody of their child, and she doesn't want her son bouncing between 2 parents. I think his previous actions prove that he was never interested in having the baby, and would probably be given minimal visitation rights.
L talked to lawyers who discouraged her from getting child support. I see it as the only way she could get out of her current situation
2006-09-01 03:26:25 · 13 answers · asked by L G 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
As some of you noticed, yes she is a college graduate. Her degree is in elementary education, but she has decided not to persue a job like that with children. Also, her parents will not help her by watching her son long enough for her to have a full-time job. Her father works full time and her mother works part time, so L must schedule her own work (and even showers, etc.) around when her mother is available to watch her son. They also give her lots of work to do around the house each day.
2006-09-01 03:40:31 · update #1
I know this isn't "my" problem to worry about, but it is so frustrating for me to watch her be miserable while he is getting off scott free and conveniently "forgetting" that he has a son. (He has told people that.)
As a child, I was also in the middle of a nasty custody battle that would probably make a good movie on the Lifetime network! However, that was a very different situation - my father was actively persuing custody/visitation with me and my brother, mostly to annoy our mother. In this situation, L's ex has clearly never been interested in having or meeting his son, and I feel like these past attitudes could be used against him, even if he changes his tune now.
2006-09-01 03:43:33 · update #2
first off, she doesn't need to be getting advice from lawyers on child support. Instead she needs to go to the domestic relations building and file for child support. Yes, he could try to get custody. BUT, since he lives 50 miles away and has had no past relationship with his son.... it's highly unlikely that he'll try, and even if he does, it'll be up to him to provide transportation/pick up his son. She needs financial support. That's what child support was made for... to HELP moms.... she deserves respect for trying to be the best single mom she could be, and for keeping her child, but use the help that is out there.
2006-09-01 03:42:11 · answer #1 · answered by rachael 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what state you live in , but in KY it is the law, you make a baby, you pay child support. She's crazy not to! Trust me, the guy lives 50 miles away and "forgets" he has a kid??? He's not gonna be wanting visitation, much less custody of a 2 year old!! They should make him pay back support too. She should qualify for legal aid, if her income's low enuff. Go for it! He has a job, they'll take it right out of his check. That'll make him remember, at least once a month!
2006-09-02 00:28:29 · answer #2 · answered by bookluffer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Advise her just to keep on doing like she is. DO NOT go after child support. That would mean the father would be able to ask for visitation rights. That child would be gone from her for half the summer (5weeks) every other weekend, and every other holiday. It wouldn't be worth the measly $300 a month or so he'd be paying. It's better that she be able to raise the child on her own.
2006-09-01 03:36:20 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She IS, entitled to support. better find a a better attorney..
the courts would more than likely take a good look at the father and his actions before granting any type of custody. at least t hat is my personal opinion., He played the game and needs to share in the cost of playing. I h ave a certain dislike for guys who do this. why should the woman have to suffer when part of the problem is cause by a mans lust???
2006-09-01 03:32:41 · answer #4 · answered by apostle1938 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
After making the decision to raise the child without the ex-boyfriend's help and technically against his own wishes, I don't think it would be fair on the ex to apply for child support just because she has a low income. She could ask him for support, he may be forth-coming, but she shouldn't force the money out of him.
2006-09-01 03:34:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have never heard of any attorney saying don't go after child support. Is she a "bad" person. As long as she is taking care of that baby she has nothing to worry about. Go to the state and have them go after him for child support. There are groups that will do that also.
Good luck
2006-09-01 03:30:24 · answer #6 · answered by cinson1999 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She should go after him for support. He helped create the child. However, if she is a college graduate, WHY does she have such a low paying job?
2006-09-01 03:29:57 · answer #7 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes a child is deserving of support the guy put it in and he should help pay for the child to be raised. most of the time ur local dept of children and family services will help
2006-09-01 03:38:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
by the sounds of it i dont think he would want any custody.but she needs to get support. my sons dad lives in another state and pays but has never seen his son.also i dont understand the parents why would they not help her get on her feet i could not imagine no helping my kids be the best so they dont have to relie on me. can u help her
2006-09-01 03:56:30 · answer #9 · answered by robin w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes he should pay child support to her she did not make the little boy on her own did she and him paying child support to her has nothing to do with him seeing there son . if you still need help on this e -mail me
2006-09-01 03:34:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋