i love my boyfriend but we keep fightin..wat can i do so we are happy?

Answer 1

You're too comfortable fighting. That's not "love." I would say that you need to pull away and get a clear vision of who/what you seek. Don't compromise. Work on yourself and your ambitions, alone: That brings the one you want to YOU. When you care less about pleasing someone else, you don't settle for crazy-making and headgames. We all do something for our "high" somehow. Yours, right now, is fighting. Learn to get that rush from accomplishments that make you impressed with yourself. Then you have the power and confidence to tell negative forces to "F-off.'

Answer 2

Well, if you fight a lot, that usually indicates that both of you have conflicting behaviors that go against how you were taught to behave.

For example, you have boyfriend A and girlfriend A.

Girlfriend A was taught to work hard at all costs before watching TV (everything has to be washed, put away, what not, prior to watching TV); but, she was never taught that swearing at someone was not sincere or that insulting someone you are close to is hurtful.

Boyfriend A was never really taught that at dinner time that, the dishes have to be washed immediately; as his household, everyone realizes that after eating, one gets a little lazy, so doing the dishes 2, 3 hours later was a common thing;

On the other hand, his parents really taught him extensively on keeping you temper controlled and realizing the pain afflicted when you swear in front of someone, or call people you love certain ugly names.

OK, Boyfriend A and Girlfriend A meet and fall in love. Then, they move in together.

The moving in together part is when things like the following happen:

They cook their first dinner together and then, Boyfriend A, in the middle of the dinner turns on the TV (he was taught that watching TV at dinner time was ok....she wasn't...). She gets a little annoyed by this and starts to give hints in her behavior by answering his questions with condescending 1 syllable responses.

Then, after they eat, she starts clearing the table to get the dishes washed and he, not aware of her working, decides to watch TV and tells her, "don't worry hun, I'll take care of it."

She's fuming by now ("how could he be so lazy????"); he's thinking, "why is she in such a hurry about doing the dishes?"

Eventually a fight occurs and she starts insulting him to high heaven... He takes the insults very personally; to her, it's not a big deal (her mom and dad love each other and they've insulted each other much worse and they've been together for 30 years....)


etc. etc.

see what's happened?

Both BF A and GF A love each other, but out of nothing more than the nature of how they were brought up, they got into a fight over a very trivial misunderstanding.

What's interesting, if both parents taught these two good values: 1. cleaning up immediately after eating; and 2. never insulting people you love; there probably would not have been a fight.

The problem is that all parents raise their children differently.

If you want to stop the fighting, you should have a long talk about each other's beliefs and how you were raised. Then, you must accept each other's flaws and back each other up by defaulting to the fact you love each other and accept the fact that everyone is brought up differently.

Answer 3

Love is a word that is often misunderstood.. Fondness for a person is one thing but LOVE actually love is the bond between two people where nothing can breach that trust, yeah you may disagree but that is part of the territory. If your wanting the best out of your relationship and not getting it right now then, make a decision is this the person your going to actually be with the rest of your life or should you go ahead and move on as you will eventually do anyway.

Answer 4

well, perhaps you love him, but you are just not right for each other. You have to be willing to give and take in any relationship, look at the reasons you fight, are they actually important? If you are constantly fighting over little things, like house hold chores etc, then you need to give a little.....by that I mean, don't sweat the small stuff...if it's big things you argue about, like him coming home late, or fliting with other women etc, it's time to reevaluate the whole relationship...both peaple should be giving and taking the same amount, and you need to have serious discussion about the things bothering you, not by yelling, but simply discussing. Maybe you just are not compatable

Answer 5

me and my ex was like that i guess thats why we broke up. If you want to salvage this relationship you need to nip it in the bud cause it will only get worse. Sit him down and make him understand how you feel about him and that you dont want to fight with no one especially him because hes the person your committing your heart to. You both just have to go into this in a mature manner. That means no bringing up petty things that dont even matter anyway. Dont take cheap shots at each other. Be sincere.Everything will work out if the both of you are willing. Sometimes love just isnt enough to make a relationship work. you both may just be taking each other for granted. Think about the things that make you love each other and not focus on the things that dont.

Answer 6

I know what you mean. My guy and I go through the same thing. We try to talk through the issues we fight mostly about. He have to be into it as much as you are or else it won't make a difference. Sometimes it's simple things or even stupid things that causes it. So talk about it in a calm and non-aggressive way. Try to focus on the issues at hand instead of digging up other things from the past. If there is a pattern, let him know you noticed it but never said anything cause you were hoping it would get better. Don't bring in a pattern and attack him with it. Makes things much worst!

If talking don't help, it might be you guys need to spend some time apart. The fighting may be caused by always being around each other, you find little annoyances in each other and pick on them. Certain things or almost everything irritate him or you easily and you fight about that too. So, you can both choose to go for a night or two away from each other; him with his friends and you with yours. Pick one night to go out together but in a group to a fun place where it involves being active. This way, you guys have fun together and with others instead of talking and picking on each other. Having fun don't mean you have to ignore the problems completely. Find creative, constructive ways both of you can make it work.

Spending time away from each other can bring back that feeling of missing one another you may have lost by spending so much time together. Sometimes its deeper for him. Something may be bothering him or is on his mind. Look closer to see if he is going through a situation which in defense, is taking it's tole on your relationship instead. Be there for him but also know when to give him space to deal with it himself. If all else fails, its not him or you, it may be time to move on. Let it be a casual decision between both of you. Be mature about it.

I hope you guys find the happiness. Good luck!

Answer 7

You can accept that people fight at times. Are they really serious arguments or just playful ones that wont hurt a relationship. If this is an online relationship it will be much more dificult but possibly more rewarding in the end. Be more open about everything. The good and the bad and things will work out.
don

Answer 8

Well there is a lot of information missing in this question in order to answer it correctly, but here is my shot at it with what is given here.
What is it that you fight about? Most fights are from things that have happened to us in other relationships. We learn things from early on including relationships with our parents, siblings, teachers, etc. Some times when we are with someone they will stir up emotions that we have buried deep down inside. So you can either talk about what it is that you continually fight about without yelling and try to resolve it. Sit ground rules so that the same emotions do not keep coming up, or maybe you should ask yourself is this relationship worth saving? Some times it just better to cut your losses and move on.
Good luck..and God Bless

Answer 9

Learn more communication skills. Rather than fighting you guys need to learn new ways how to express how you feel. Couples fight... that is natural... but there is a good and constructive way to fight and then there is the negative way that damages a relationship.
Also look at the root of why you are fighting. Is it a big issue or is it something small like he didn't pick up his dirty socks? You have to pick your battles and alot of times just let things go. Try being empathetic to each other. Just try seeing it through your partners eyes. I do this with my boyfriend and we usually apologize after we see each other's points of view.

Answer 10

I think you first need to figure out why you keep fighting. What is it you fight over? Try to find resolution and common ground in your disagreements. try to be more open minded and ask that he do the same. Also, sometimes when couples spend too much time together, they can become testy and start arguing. Maintain your independence as much as you can, be your own person, don't be dependent on your boyfriend and don't allow him to be dependent on you. I think space and calm communication are your best bets for happiness in the end!