My boyfriend of a year gets his 9 yr daughter almost every weekend. I feel like I am going crazy because I get jealous when she is here with him. He gets this glow about him when she is around, (which is good) but I wish that he would get that way being around me sometimes... I get him during the week while we both work all the time, & the only time that he isn't as tired is on the weekends, & then his daughter is here & her room is right next to ours, so it's like I don't get any time to do the night time activites when he auctually doesn't pass out after hitting the pillow. I am starting to resent this, what should I do? Am I just CRAZY???
2006-09-01 03:13:31 · 9 answers · asked by angeleyz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No, you are not crazy...and I take it you have no children of your own?
I don't have kids, and have dated men who do. This is the way it is...they don't love you less, but they do love you differently - but don't let it bother you. You must understand: their child is their flesh & blood, their hope for the future that they want to help grow in a positive direction. You are a fully formed adult who they want to share their time with in adult way. You, being an adult, have learned to accept disappointments and realize life is not always fair. Their child is someone they want to protect from that hash reality a little while longer. Impossible, we all know but...people try. So, the kid gets his fullest attention when she is there & you get the tired man at the end of the day - be glad he wears himself out nurturing his daughter! This shows he is a giving, caring soul - and those positive virtues have got to be a good thing for your realtionship, right?
So give him a backrub & tell him how proud you are he is such a good father. In a few years, she will spend more time out with her friends, and you will have more couples time. Hang in there!
2006-09-01 03:18:12 · answer #1 · answered by mustanglynnie 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋
ur not crazy but u need to accept the fact that he has a child and that she is a part of him (his blood), she was there before u and she'll be there when ur gone.. it's his job and responsibility as a parent to be there emotionally, financially, and physically to his daughter... u need to understand that his relationship w/his child and one w/a women can't be compared... the love he has for his child will never be the same for u.. u sound childish actually, because u act like ur in competition w/his 9yr child...
if u can't accept the package and get over ur feelings then u need to find u someone who has no children or a man who has children but is a deadbeat to his kids so u won't half to worry bout competing for attn w/his children...
u have mon - fri to do whatever it is that u want to do... u know he gets his daughter on the weekend so if u don't take advantage of the time u have w/him during the week then that is ur fault.. but weekends is not alot of time for a father and daughter but they deserve that time together w/out interference from u, or whining...
u need to sit back and evaluate ur relationship and decide if a packaged deal is for u....
2006-09-01 03:22:17 · answer #2 · answered by Queen D 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like you are being a bit selfish. That's his child he is suppose to be that way about her. Although I don't think he should have her over the house every weekend. You should stop being jealous and take the time out and talk to your bf about how you feel. But don't tell him you are jealous of his child that could offend him and make him feel like you are knocking him for wanting to spend time with his child. Just tell him that you where wondering if he could set aside every other weekend for the two of you to spend time.
2006-09-01 03:31:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
no your not crazy at all, u just need to speak with him and let him no how u feel, but he only gets his daughter on the weekends so yeah he would be so happy to see her, im sure he would try to find time 4 u if u just talk to him, sometimes a person dont no unless you talk with them ok, so give it a try, and get involved with him and his daughter while they are together, go someplaces do something so its the three of you
2006-09-01 03:19:48 · answer #4 · answered by louise 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
get in. Show interest in his relationshiop with his daughter. Start playing with them both. And at night tell him you want him all to your self and she needs a bed time any ways
2006-09-01 03:19:46 · answer #5 · answered by unkown 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Grow up and quit being so selfish, she only gets to see her dad on the weekends and you want to compete with her for his attention?
Shame on you, get your head right or get lost and let him be the dad he needs to be.
2006-09-01 03:19:46 · answer #6 · answered by live2ride 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Just know that this relationship will probably never work if you feel this way now. A parent has to put his child first.
2006-09-01 03:18:01 · answer #7 · answered by melinda_rn2006 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Obviously you are not secure in your relationship or maybe he is failing to show his affection towards you when she is around . Or maybe your an immature person who fails to realize the importance of family.
2006-09-01 03:16:37 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ ღAngelicaღ♥ 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Not to be mean, but you sound very immature... that is selfish behavior...
Maybe you need to move on and find someone without children.
2006-09-01 03:18:34 · answer #9 · answered by Mary G 6 · 2⤊ 4⤋