Guys only question?

Question

I have been married for 3 years and I'm 30 years old. I came across a phone number and asked my husband about it and he said he didn't know who it was. By the expression on his face I knew he was lying. I called the female and she said she didn't know him either. But, it just didn't seem right. So, that started an all out investigation. Cell phone details with phone calls to the same number. He had been talking to her. Then, recently I came across the number again. That I guess he forgot to put up after he used it and I decided to call her again. She said that she knew him and it was nothing physical, just conversation. So back to my question... Should it be okay for husbands to have female friends? Is it something going on?My concern it why lie about it, if it's nothing going on. Serious answers please

Answer 1

This is how I found out my husband was having an affair. He left and didn't give a reason why. I kept asking if he had met someone else....was he having an affair? He kept denying it. So I started investigating. I brought up cell phone records and saw this one number repeatedly. At odd hours too. I called the number and a girl answered. I asked who she was...she hesitated and hung up. That was all the confirmation I needed. I went over to where my husband was staying and confronted him. He admitted everything. He said he had been talking to this girl for months and thought he was in love with her. I slapped him so hard girl, I gave him a black eye. I took his phone, called the *****, left her a nasty message and deleted her number from his phone. But guess what. He got the number from another co-worker and called her back and apologized for my message. I found this out after more investigating...calling people, etc.

The point is this. I hated who I became. I hated that I checked his cell phone all the time. I hated that he called her to "talk". That he confided in her. That he turned to her and not me. I hated that she destroyed our marriage. He said nothing physical actually happened until after we separated, but they had gone on two business trips together. He said all they did was talk. Do you know what that is called: an emotional affair. It is still an affair, it is still betrayal and it still hurts.

He is acting very suspicious. I don't trust this at all. Somethine more is going on. And if nothing physical has happened yet, it will. Be careful. I know exactly how you must feel right now. I wish you the best in whatever you do.

Answer 2

If it was only a friend then he would not have lied about it. Guys and girls can have normal friendships, but it depends on the people in the friendship. Ask if you can get together with this girl and have lunch. If nothing is going on, then she will most likely accept gladly. If she does not accept, then maybe something is making her uncomfortable and red flags should go up.
Unfortunately, you have no control over it. This is the hardest part of it all. Once you accept that, then the next part is to know that you can't make their decisions for them. If you want to stick around cool, then understand that we are all human and make mistakes. If not then be as amicable as possible in the split. If he gets feisty and acts like a jerk, go for the jugular. Best of luck

Answer 3

It could be that he knows that he would be casted in the same light as a cheater. He might just said it in a knee jerk reaction. His friend might not want to get him in trouble and did the same thing. I think a lot of guys out there want to get a different view and trying to learn some things that might be lacking in your relationship. If that is the case, maybe it would be a good idea to show him some more attention and get "into the relationship" What I mean by that is start the ball rolling out of the rut of the marriage and see if he will resolve his doubts and fears and tell you what you want to know. Or you can start digging into everything and he will just pull away from you. Take the high road if you want your relationship to work or take the low road and end the relationship. Its up to you. Good luck

Answer 4

Him having female friends is okay, as long as you can have or do have male friends. In all honesty that subject should be a non-issue if you're secure with your relationship.

However, the fact that he is hiding this 'friendship' from you can be perceived as improper. However, do you not really trust him to begin with? It could very well be a legitimate friendship that would probably prompt him to keep it from you if he automatically thinks you will cause friction.

If she really is a friend, why don't you all go out to dinner or something. Then it's all out in the open. See if he has the stones to do that. Better yet, invite his friend over for dinner. Then you can get to the bottom of all of this.

Answer 5

It isn't a problem for him to have female friends, but what is a problem is him hiding it. He has reasons he is hiding his friendship with her and chances are he is hiding the friendship
because you will not like the reasons for the friendship.

Tell him, it's ok if he has female friends (as long as you CAN trust him) but only as long as he doesn't hide those friends from you. Let him know, by hiding his friend he is breaking your trust.

I assume no liability for the following information or it's use.

Speaking as a private investigator.......statistics show that 85% of marital suspicions are correct. This is a big red flag to extra marital activity. Other red flags are him changing his routine habits, wanting to slightly change his attire, changing his hair style, unaccounted for time of his whereabouts, a sudden desire to get in shape, sudden changes in music tastes, higher than usual atm withdrawals, decrease in desire of sex or changing your sexual encounters, changes in his cologne, hiding his cell phone, and leaving the room to accept cell or home phone calls when you are home. These are only a few of the many signs of a cheating spouse. I am not saying he is cheating, but you do need to talk to him!

Best thing you can do is sit and communicate with him without interuption...let him know your concerns....let him know you care about him and want to be with him, If you really do want to be with him.

Answer 6

The fact that he lied about the number says either two things:

1. He's up to something.

2. He doesn't trust you to allow him to have a female friend without overreacting.

To get some of the answers you have with this issue, just get more involved with your husband's 'friend'. You have her number; call her and state "your husband's friends should also be your friend" and go from there. Treat her just like you would treat one of your actual friends and she will eventually get the message you are sending. Your husband won't know how to deal with this sudden interest with his 'friend' as well, so he may just end it himself, unless she changes her number.

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" and... "you attract more flies with honey than vinegar".

Answer 7

MY wife has male friends from previous jobs that she keeps in contact with.Just someone to talk work crap about. Just because a person is married does that mean you cant have friends of the opposite sex.You need talk to your husband and find the connection between the two.

Answer 8

Ok, if she was just a friend, why didn't he say so? I'm a girl, I apologize because you just wanted guys to answer, and of course they are saying stuff along the lines of "its ok for a girl to have guy friends, but not the other way around" UH no..its why is it ok for a guy to have a female calling him when he has a wife, and not being honest about it, but a girl is called a slut if she has guys calling her. What crap. I hate men.

Answer 9

Yes, it is okay for a man to have female friends, my husband has some. It's not okay if he lies about it because that's how you know they're more than just friends. He's cheating on you sister. Good luck.

Answer 10

He's cheating. Take him to Home Depot to the lumber department. Drop something on the floor. When he bends over to pick it up, whack him with a 2x4 on the buttocks.