I am asking this question, because I realsised that I am not the same fun, happy positive person I used to be. My boyfriend is a negative person, sometimes it exhausts me. I have been with him for two years now, I know that I have changed, but I would like to get back to being a bit how I used to be, do you think that this is possible or do youthink that my personality was due to change anyway as i'm getting older. Is this just what happens??
2006-09-01 02:48:34 · 23 answers · asked by Kelly D 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Yes,my personality has changed due to traumatic brain injury.
I dont think you personalty is changing.You are who you are.You are going to have a hard road to hold if you stay in this relationship.
I've been married 27 years in what you are describing.I am negative and always have been.My wife WAS full of life,liked meeting people,going to church functions,singings,always thinking on the bright side of things."A HAPPY LIFE LOVING PERSON.
She loved me,now she resides with me.
She has left me twice in our marriage and it didn't work out for her both times.
Both times I cried and begged her to come back to me,and she did.
She has never really been happy,and now neither am I.
We are just two people,living under one roof.No hate,some love,some caring,"Just Living".
I cant tell you what to do ,but what ever you do,I hope you have a better life than my wife did.
2006-09-01 03:50:46 · answer #1 · answered by pops 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, I think it does. I believe that it takes a long time for it to change gradually under the impetus of bad life experiences, and it can't be changed back with the world as it stands. In a perfect world, given time, you could change, but the world sucks big time and you can't isolate yourself from its trials and tribulations. I used to be upbeat, jolly and optimistic to the point of naivety. Now I'm depressive and cynical for a lot of the time with a happy front - my old self is clearly still there and I am happy-go-lucky a fair bit. But I have some very negative days that I can do nothing about, and cannot shift a gloomy outlook on life. If you can find a positive environment somewhere, you're in with a chance (also assuming that you don't suffer from financial difficulties).
2006-09-01 10:09:45 · answer #2 · answered by Silkie1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your attitude and your personality can be altered by your experiences and whats around you. If your boyfriend is a negative person it may have altered you to be a more negative person. If you want to become the same fun, happy, positive person that you were before, you may need to change some of your surroundings around you abit. I don't mean dump your boyfriend and get a happier guy. If your boyfriend is a negative person and you really care about him, you can try and make him become more of a positive person and show him the good side of life. Once you do that, he will become a happier and more optimistic person and you will feel good about it and become more optimistic too! You can still control how you feel, how you act towards things even if there are some things pulling you down.
2006-09-01 10:01:01 · answer #3 · answered by Mimi 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We are all subject to the influences of our environment. The amount that we change is more governed by our strength of personality. I do not believe that your percieved change in personality is due to age but rather the effect of being with a negative person. It can be very draining and is not good for you. You will need to strengthen up and be your self or keep losing small bits at a time.
With the greatest of respect, I would suggest that if you cannot limit the influence it is having on you, you should get away before you lose yourself altogether.
I wish you well and hope that you can find a way of regaining what you have lost.
2006-09-01 09:59:10 · answer #4 · answered by Phil J 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are weary of the relationship and going through a kind of depression over it. Negativity is a strong emotion but insidious in onset and gets a grip sometimes without us encouraging in any way.
Basically you will be the same person who has altered due to circumstances no need for this to be permanent.
Unless someone suffers from mental illness or has suffered trauma of a major kind it is a case of a leopard does not change it's spots.
2006-09-02 04:02:53 · answer #5 · answered by eagledreams 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The person within has not changed but the person that the world sees outside has. You need to find a solution and get back to being yourself...and yes, the answer is that people can do this to you.
Two years is nothing in terms of aging when you are an adult. It is a lot when you are only two years old. of course.
2006-09-01 09:56:16 · answer #6 · answered by Hermit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you take a railroad spike through the head, your personality can't really change without a) a huge psychological trauma, or b) constant whittling.
Sounds like you've got a bit of B going on. Tell your boyfriend to straighten up and fly right, or get out - it'll be better for you in the long run whichever he chooses.
2006-09-01 09:54:23 · answer #7 · answered by Brian L 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first person's answer. Being around certain people can change you mannerisms and outlook of things. I however, have noticed that through college i changed a lot and I am a lot more calm now. Try to make the best of it-I know its hard to be around negative people.
2006-09-01 09:55:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wiser folk than I say that environment is stronger than willpower. If you make a point of spending time with happy, fun, positive people rather than only or mainly with your "negative" and "exhausting" boyfriend, with you open the door for reviving the fun-loving and positive sides of your own nature. It will also make it easier then for you to cheer him up rather than let him drag you down:-0)
2006-09-01 10:29:01 · answer #9 · answered by MBK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When we get older our outlook and maturity changes. People can affect us as well, being around someone who is always negative can make an impact on us. If you spend time with yourself and listen to music you used to and be around your old friends maybe you will find yourself again.
I recon when people are younger and have less responsibility they are generally happier, when we get older and work full time, have a house, partner, less time to go out, it can drag you down a little.
Answer is to go out with your girlfriends and have girlie nights out, be stupid, laugh and dance! (Im in the same boat and what a difference that makes!)
2006-09-01 10:50:00 · answer #10 · answered by tanzanite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋