My husband and I have been married for 14 years. For most of that time he has not been able to work, and we have lived off his Social Security and VA checks. Then three years ago, he decided to go back to college. He is working his way towards a degree in computers. Now he found a job at the college he is attending. So between it and his schooling he is gone almost all the time and I am stuck here doing all the housework and tending to the kids. Am I being selfish for getting so upset when he leaves every morning?
2006-09-01 02:34:47 · 14 answers · asked by ang3415 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I do support my husband in this, I am behind his decision 100%. I am even happy that he is happy, I just get depressed a little when he leaves.
2006-09-01 02:48:33 · update #1
No! I go through husband withdrawals also. Just means you two are very close. My husband and I are like best friends, he works offshore in the gulf of Mexico for two weeks and then he is home for one week. I miss him so bad when he is gone. But he does call me every night. I tell everyone when he is gone.....lonely without my buddy. I find things around the house to keep my busy. And I anxiously await that phone every night. Hope you feel better knowing someone else feels like you. Good luck.
2006-09-01 03:31:43 · answer #1 · answered by e_deckwa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think it's selfishness, I think it's a huge change for you and it's going to take some getting use to. You seem like a bright lady...why not look into taking some college courses yourself...there are even classes you can take to get a degree on-line, or certified in something that interests you! As far as the housework and tending to the kids...let him know that you still would like him to contribute, that's not unreasonable! Your domestic work isn't any easier than his new job! My only caution would be to still show him love and support and try not to resent his new job, that will cause some hard feelings. Try to put yourself in his position and understand how he's feeling as well. I think that once you have your focus on your new path...it will be much easier on you to push him out the door in the morning *wink* Best wishes hon!
2006-09-01 02:53:59 · answer #2 · answered by Joeygirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kinda.He is finally able to step up and take care of his family the way he wants to.Its a big confidence booster too him.As for you getting upset.Maybe its because you miss him being around and hes not there all the time like he used to and your stuck home with the kids and house work all the time.I know how you feel im a stay at home mom also.Maybe if you take some time to yourself that would help you some.I recently decided that on the weekends when my hubby dosent work that i will find a part time job to just get away from things.Maybe that would be something that might help you if you dont already work.But whatever you do dont make your hubby feel bad.Hes doing well i applaude him for going back to school and trying to better his and his familys life too.And let him know how proud of him u are and that you do miss him being around
2006-09-01 02:42:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you aren't! Because doing household jobs is very tough, man tend to flee by going to work, or additionally looking for a part-time job or courses to follow. in fact they try to look for all sorts of reasons to stay away from home and as long as possible. This happens mostly to man who is married for more than ten years and have kids at home.
2006-09-01 02:43:08 · answer #4 · answered by Goldenheart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say but yes you are being selfish... It looks like he is trying to better himself and his family. From what you say he is just trying to make a living in this world and support his wife and kids. You ought to be thankful for your husband. Their are alot of men out there that just sits on their a** and don't give a sh**. Again be thankful and good luck.
2006-09-01 02:42:39 · answer #5 · answered by jeter2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal since you are so used to being with him all day. However, you want him to bring in the bacon too . If you don't like being a full time mother, why opt for it? Why not go and work too. Put the kids in daycare.
2006-09-01 21:36:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, he is the breadwinner, and he's probably been feeling fuilty for not having supported the family enough- so now you should give him a chance to win back his pride and get an education in the process.
However, considering you've been married for 14 years, I think you should tell him your feelings, just so that he knows how you feel (that way, he might buy you flowers and chocolate to make you happier=)!
2006-09-01 02:38:21 · answer #7 · answered by sweateredpanda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just thinking that if you ever had to be the source of income then you could not provide. You are a care provider for your kids right now. It's cold, hard and true.
2006-09-01 02:40:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
o.k get a job,pay a housecleaning sevice and send your kids to daycare.you won't feel like getting upset because he has a purpose and not you.
just a bit of info. mother raised kids usually turn out more stable than kids that got bounced around through daycare and babysitters.
2006-09-01 03:03:45 · answer #9 · answered by desayunogratis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your being selfish.
You just got used to him being around all day, helping you with everything.
But i suggest talking to him about it, and letting him know how you feel.
After all these years If this is what he wants to do then i think you should support him and be more understanding.
2006-09-01 02:42:31 · answer #10 · answered by Purrr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋