Beforehand, I discovered that she had an affair with his officemate,
I confronted her to stop and ask her to save our family, we had a 7 year old son. But my request fell on deaf ears, instead she eloped with that man and committed adultery. I forgive her but she refuse to be with us again when she broke up with him and returns after 3 mos., instead she wants to see our son. Should I let her care for our son once in a while? Now I feel ashamed of her to be the mother of our son.
2006-09-01 02:15:20 · 40 answers · asked by victim of luv 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is a decision you made to have a child by this woman ........how would you feel if you were denied the right to see your son.......she's the mother of your child...you may not agree with the things she does but she did bear your child.......ppl have to realize that children are not the way to get back at someone who has hurt us! they didnt ask to be here....you son may hate you for doing that in the future......be a GROWN UP even when others are not..
2006-09-01 02:22:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless the non-custodial parent is a physical danger to the child, one should never prevent them from seeing the child. The child will grow up with resentment towards the custodial parent. And never talk negative about the non-custodial parent. Same reason.
Start off with limited visits. Maybe a few hours every other Saturday. See how that goes and then work from there. This will benefit your son and later your relationship with him. As he gets older, he will figure out for himself what kind of person his mom is on his own and will be better for having that opportunity.
It is very hard, but try not to let your personal hang-ups with your ex affect your son's relationship with his mom. This will only come back to bite you in the butt later on.
2006-09-01 02:22:40 · answer #2 · answered by jiminycricket 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1.You have no right keeping her son from her.
2. She left for a reason & won't return for a reason. I am sure it was not because of the boy.
3. Supervise the visits and see how they go.
4. Don't take out your anger on the child & don't use him as a tool to get your way.
5. Get counsling for all of you. You will need it and it may help find problems you did not know exsited.
6. Maybe she was ashamed of herself for doing what she did & that is why it took her 3 months to get up the courage to come back and ask.
2006-09-01 03:34:27 · answer #3 · answered by Emptiness 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have a son who will know your own morals for the rest of his life because he will learn by watching you, so the pressure is on, yes. He will learn that he is an individual faster too and a person who can think for himself (like you). Those are positive qualities. You can get over the one negative quality before you pass it on; gossiping about his mom will make him angry. He knows her mistakes or will know the reason you are not together but will love her and maybe when he is an adult still understand. He may be convinced by your actions and situation that a woman cannot be trusted so don't add fuel to the fire. Just let him love her for who she is besides being a cheater. Also, let him love you for who you are, and not as a reactor to his mother.
2006-09-01 02:57:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may feel ashamed that she's the mother of your child, but that's what she is. And no matter how much she hurt you and how much you feel betrayed, she will always be your son's mother. Just think in the future how your son will feel if he found out that you denied his mother access to him. I know it sucks, but you really should put your son's best interest ahead of your feelings, at least until he is old enough to decide on his own whether or not he wants to persue a relationship with his mom.
2006-09-01 02:22:12 · answer #5 · answered by bessierush 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it does not matter how much of a slut you think she is, she is still your son's mother. It would be very cruel of you to keep her from seeing her son, if you feel uncomfortable letting her take him or see him alone, you can request supervised visit for a while and see how things work out. I feel for you, but I also know that your son will be a lot happy to see his mommy and later on in life when your son knows the story of his mom, he will see you in a different light and his respect for you will double. Good Luck.
2006-09-01 02:22:18 · answer #6 · answered by loser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't even think about getting back with her. But yes I would let her see her son. Not along of course! After what she has done I would be scared she would take off with him. Let her see him but with supervision. I you try to keep your son away from her now (that is if he wants to see her) your son will hate you for it in the future. some people can be the crappiest parents but some times small children do not know, see or understand that. They just know that they are there parents and they love them. You have to let your son figure that out for himself. Good luck!
2006-09-01 02:34:38 · answer #7 · answered by jeter2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship with your ex has nothing to do with the mother/child relationship. Stop being bitter and grow up your son still needs his Mom. Sorry to be so harsh but you need to face the truth without the candy coating. Hope you two work can be at least friends for your son's sake, best of luck!
2006-09-01 02:25:46 · answer #8 · answered by Stacy K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PUT your FEELINGS aside! It's not about you... it's about your son. Be honest..... was she a good mother? Chances are, apart from the adultry, she was...... DO NOT take her son away from her. Alienating your son from her will only make things worse, I know you're hurting, but you should never punish anyone (guy or girl) for something they did to you by not letting them see their child. Oh, and If you are worried or think she could take your son and move, then make sure you get a custody order in place first.
2006-09-01 02:21:09 · answer #9 · answered by rachael 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't really have any grounds to keep her from seeing her son. What happened was between the two of you and doesn't concern her relationship with your son. She's still his Mother and has a right to see him. Maybe you should consider some sort of supervised visitation to help ease your mind.
2006-09-01 03:07:57 · answer #10 · answered by confused123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋