What would it take for you to get back with a person who has cheated on you before. Let's say the affair happened and then you guys are split but not yet divorced. Now you start to get these signals that the cheating person is trying to get back.
2006-09-01 02:09:11 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
once a cheat always a cheat.Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me.I would find it very hard to forgive much less forget.Im sure it could happen depends on the person but me no way could i forgive that is the ultimate betrayal and there is no respect if you have to cheat.
2006-09-01 02:16:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you're split or separated, how is that cheating? Being separated is that, you're no longer together. It's just a waiting period until divorce is finalized.
If the person wanted to get back together, I'd have to ask myself, am I upset that I didn't get to play while we where separated? If I got to fool around with more women than she did men would be okay then? (seems that's where you question is steming from)
If the other person wants to work it out, then the issues that caused the separation in the first place is what I would focus on. Rather than what happened after it was decided that the marriage would end.
2006-09-01 03:14:14 · answer #2 · answered by -J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From someone who has been through it. I can tell you that it is all up to you.You need to ask yourself can you deal with what she has done,live with the fact that she broke the trust,and are you willing to forgive her. I did not say forget but you must let the past stay there for it to work. Then discuss it with her find the reasons why she cheated and figure out if you and her can resolve the reasons for her affair. then move forward. It is very hard and I still have issues with it but you must communicate with her better.it seem to be the biggest reason why the women cheat communication, You must also be ready to never throw it in her face because it will cause resentment on sides. we've had fights and disagreements after, you always will but remember to bite your tongue.She must also gain your trust back which will not be easy for either of you, if she is willing to do whatever it takes then I say go for it, if you truly love her.and she loves you. it is a very hard road but in my case it was well worth it :) We have grown stronger and closer since that point and found out the problems that were there and worked together to solve them We still have some to go but as I said its worth a shot if you really can't see yourself without her for the rest of your life.
2006-09-01 03:47:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, son... you can say you forgive, but you never really do. And you'll never forget.
Let me put it to you this way... the only way you could ever get past the fact that your wife cheated, is to forgive her at this level I'm about to drop on you.
If you came home, and the man she cheated with... his car is in your driveway. Now, could you walk into your home and NOT suspect anything was going on? Not even the slightest doubt!
In order to start anew, you will have to forgive her COMPLETELY and never throw the fact that she cheated in her face if you should have a disagreement.
Can you do that?
It doesn't matter if you still love her like no man has ever loved a woman... you still have to love YOU first. Everything that's good to you, isn't always good FOR you. Hell, even too much oxygen and sugar can kill you!
2006-09-01 03:49:16 · answer #4 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will answer you as I will answer my children. NO. Some people who cheat only cheat on certain people like someone who they just use for a good time. A cheater is only always a cheater with some people and if its with you then it is not something to forgive and allow. You always have the option of living your life bitter oh I have forgiven thee!! Then you can get into a counseling session and let them have your money because you know that is what they get paid to do. Then you can let your kids know it is okay to screw your spouse around. So thumbs up on this one-from me. You know more and more people are getting murdered these days because of infidelity.
2006-09-01 02:25:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Don't listen to anybody telling you once a cheater always a cheater.If you are willing to work and willing to change then you can make the effort to trust again. Do you know why she cheated ? She is unhappy about something. If you can work on it. Do it.
2006-09-01 02:25:31 · answer #6 · answered by Raineybaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forgive-yes but the window of trust shrinks. There is no longer a 100% open trust.
2006-09-01 02:35:40 · answer #7 · answered by timid 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think i could have take them back because once a cheater always a cheater and if i do take them back i would be very insecure.
2006-09-01 02:58:35 · answer #8 · answered by caribbeangal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it's so hard to trust a cheater again but it all depends on the person... if u think that he can be trusted again, then you have to take the risk... it's all about being able to manage another difficult situation ang being into the situation itself...
2006-09-01 02:18:55 · answer #9 · answered by mystery 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its really hard to forget wen sum1 u love has ditched on u.
i personally feel that if u can giv up just do that bcoz its really difficult to b wid the person 4ever(i am experiencing it,life has bcome a hell)
2006-09-01 02:17:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋