I am a very low energy person. My diet is good. I exercise. My doctor says there's nothing wrong with me, but I don't have a lot of energy. During the evening especially I usually feel exhausted. Well my husband doesn't want to have a baby b/c he says he'll have to do all of the work in the evening since I get so tired at night.
He says you have to have a lot of energy to raise kids.
Any advice?
2006-09-01 02:08:03 · 20 answers · asked by Kelly S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well, am kinda like you.. i have a kid though... am a morning person... i do all the work at day... and he sure helps a lot in the evenings... whats the harm in that?
2006-09-01 02:12:49 · answer #1 · answered by rania75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you work outside the home? If you have a child, will you still work? Also, if you exercise and have a good diet, what is your doctor's diagnosis about your low energy at the end of the day? You might want to get a second opinion.
But to answer your question, yes, it takes a lot of energy to raise a child. You don't want to say "honey, I can't play with you because I'm tired" all the time. The child will feel rejected.
Having a child means BOTH parents should share as equally as possible all of the care-giving responsibilities. A child seriously changes the dynamics of a relationship and if there are already issues, a child will magnify those. Work these out first, please.
2006-09-01 09:16:36 · answer #2 · answered by jiminycricket 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is right in saying kids take a lot of energy - about 2 years after I had my daughter I started getting very low in energy and always tired but unable to sleep and achy etc - it turns out I have chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia - I have to send my daughter to day care now as I dont have the energy to be a full time mum - If your doctors can not find anything - ask them about chronic fatigue this could be what your suffering from - once you have an answer you can learn to get around it as best as you can..
As for your husband saying he will have to do everything .. thats not entirely true but wether you are low or high in energy you will need the help and support from your partner.
2006-09-01 09:12:34 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Kazz♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children do take a lot of energy, that I can agree with. But you know what? I suffer from low-thyroid disease which makes me wear out easily and have low-energy, and I have no problem taking care of my one month old daughter.
Raising a child is all about determination. I get up every three hours with her to get her a bottle and a butt change. Half the time I only sleep about 2 to 3 hours a night and I'm up the rest of the day cleaning house and running errands.
I'm sure if you had a baby you'd do just fine!
2006-09-01 09:14:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you didn't say what you wanted. Yes, having children is exhausting work and requires a lot of energy, but particularly when the work is split between two committed adults it is fun and so worth it. If you really want kids and your husband does too, then perhaps you should just have one child as opposed to more. But, I suspect that deep down your husband does not want kids period, which is something you two really have to talk through. Good luck.
2006-09-01 09:11:19 · answer #5 · answered by randa777 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is correct and is very considerate of the child that would be born to you guys. Sounds like a good guy. If you want to fix this, do whatever it takes (legally that is) to increase your energy.
Describing yourself as low energy seems to hide another problem. Make sure that you don't have sleep apnea or some other medical problem. Make sure that you get proper sleep.
2006-09-04 21:46:53 · answer #6 · answered by adamsjrcn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be right. To look after children, and a home, you need to be on the go, sometimes late into the night and during the night. If there is no physical reason, maybe you are just lacking stamina. If you really want children, maybe trying to push yourself a little harder, half an hour at a time, to do stuff in the evening?
2006-09-01 09:12:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You havn't experienced it yet and it is amazing the things you can and will do for your kids, you really don't even think about it it, it just happens. Yes they take a lot of energy but soooo worth it and people with far greater challenges have done it. You don't know what love is until you have your own. I thought I loved my husband more than anything, till I had my kids, it's a whole different world.
2006-09-01 09:34:13 · answer #8 · answered by sasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your hubby is the one with the low energy problem. You are making an effort and he is chickening' out! I had low energy as well but once you have that baby (like I did) mom energy kicks in. You would be surprised how much you have inside to keep up with the baby. I just keep going and going and going. Have you ever talked to your doc about chronic fatigue disorder? You might have that. I would try to convince your hubby if you can and if you want a baby that much. I can't imagine not having our little man. And like I said... your body is a machine capable of many things. I like to call it mom energy is a mystery to me but when needed you keep going and going and....
2006-09-01 09:13:16 · answer #9 · answered by Queen of Kings 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty if you want a child, maybe just one for you, you will find the energy. That is what a Mom does, it comes naturally. Don't let it hold you back. If you want it don't let it pass you by. Go for it. If he loves you he will work with you.There are ways to increase your energy. Have you seen a second Doctor? Maybe he does not know what to do for you, so he says you are fine. Get another opinion. Good Luck!
2006-09-01 09:10:20 · answer #10 · answered by poisonivy4913 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what would be wrong with you taking care of the children during the day and him in the evening? It sounds like a 60-40 deal to me...after all the children will be sleepy in the evening also and he'll just have to sit there like an idiot. Why would you want to have a child with someone who doesn't want to fully help raise them?
2006-09-01 09:11:32 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋