I put a note in her door, asking if she'd like to go clothes shopping with me and she never answered it. I saw her go out with some other girls and it hurt me that she ignored me. I say to her "if you want to go to the movies sometime, let me know", but she never does. She'll come round for dinner, but won't go out with me. What should I do?
2006-09-01 01:17:27 · 25 answers · asked by Hello 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Sorry, I should add that I'm female - just wanting a girly friendship.
2006-09-01 01:24:46 · update #1
well it sounds like she is just using you to me...if she does not want to do anything but eat your food i would not have any more to do with her....i do not think she sounds much like a friend i would want anyway....and yes it would hurt if they ignored you and she has no concern at all for your feelings...leave her alone until she can respect you....
2006-09-01 01:22:21 · answer #1 · answered by sanangel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dating a neighbor is like going out with your sister -so to speak , I dated my nieghbor down the street only one time. There is some lack of pricacy in ones life when it so close to home -pick someone a few blocks away- you may have better luck.
You need to more decisive about asking . Do not ask what they would like, just say I would likke to take you to 'whatever' this Saturday or Sunday can I come by about 7 .
From my past years of experience I would maybe make it more than a week in advance but usually Tuesday is a good time to ask. Then follow up a few days before.
Ususally first dates are casual depending on your age.
Fisrt dates are usually awkward so expect to stumble a little. Always be respectfull but make the decision and she will let you know if it is the wrong one.
2006-09-01 08:29:27 · answer #2 · answered by john f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She did not want to go shopping with you because she had plans already.
"if you want to go to the movies sometime, let me know" is too indefinite and wishywashy.
Try "I'm going to go see _____ at 2 on Saturday, would you like to join me?" or "I'm off Thurday and Smittingtons is having a great sale. why don't you come with me?"
There is also a chance that her finances don't allow her to do much shopping or movie going, so perhaps you could ask her to join you for some free activity, a concert in the park, a street fair or a reading at a bookstore.
If, after a couple invitations that are more specific, she still doesn't seem interested, take a hint and back off.
There is a fine line between "Friendly" and "Stalkerish" and you're kinda close to that line.
2006-09-01 08:48:08 · answer #3 · answered by UppityBroad68 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you can try being more direct. all your examples are non direct questions. "if you want to go to the movies sometime let me know" is very easy to forget about or be irresponsible about because it's not urging at all and it makes you sound unassertive or unconfident, or embarassed to be asking. something like "let's go to the movies this weekend and I'm buying the tickets!" might produce better results. I have learned the hard way that people, especially women, are naturally prone to be irresponsible and unreliable. Think about it. women have so much to deal with in their lives with so many people trying to get with them all the time it must be impossible to manage. Besides, if she will come over for dinner you can always just orchestrate an outting. when she gets there, just say we're going OUT for dinner THIS time! and go. it would probably be good to have friends around for support. if she wont go along then you might suspect something strange is afoot. but it could also just be a benign and legitimate issue on her part so you'll never know until you talk about it.
2006-09-01 08:24:24 · answer #4 · answered by Mike 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either, she feels that she doesn't know you well enough in which you may want to just build up small talk with her at these dinners OR she's really not interested for any reason, maybe she already has a boyfriend, had a bad exerpience with men lately and just tryign to recover or she's homosexual, who knows? (You probably know mor ethan I do though) So if there's really no hope, try to move on, and try to keep her as a friend, at least then you know she doesn't hate you, she just isn't romantically intereste din you.
2006-09-01 08:23:06 · answer #5 · answered by locomonohijo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BACK OFF! She's sending a clear message that she's not interested in stepping up the friendship and is probably coming to dinner just to shut you up. You're coming off as being desperate. Give the girl some space and let her come to you. No more invitations until she's ready. She might think you're trying to date her or something. Godloveya.
2006-09-01 08:25:02 · answer #6 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit asking her.
Find somebody else to hang with.
Quit having her over for dinner.
Find somebody else to have dinner with.
She'll either A) be relieved that you got off her back about a date
or B) realize that you aren't going to hang around waiting for her to make time for you, and if she wants to go out with you she better put that at the top of the darn "to do list"!
2006-09-01 08:25:28 · answer #7 · answered by niffer's mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U r creeping her out, try to give her some space man. Girls kinda hate persistent guys. If she doesnt wanna, means she is not interested. But u could make things worse by making her hate u. So leave it at ' im not interested'. Its better thn 'ur a jerk'. Maybe once u save up for the ferrari, she wold love to go out wif u.
2006-09-01 08:19:30 · answer #8 · answered by Libra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well give her a call something and ask if she wants to go here or there. You also need to find something you all have in common and build a friendship off that.
2006-09-01 08:54:27 · answer #9 · answered by queenie_the_big_pushen_meanie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her "how come you always come over for dinner but you never want to hang out in public?"
2006-09-01 08:19:45 · answer #10 · answered by chocolateheaven84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋