i desperately need advice so i am hoping someone can help. i have been going out with my bf for 6 yrs and we desperately want to get married - we were hoping to do so next friday. however unfortunately for us we belong to different ethnic backgrounds. i am a muslim and he is asian... very different.
when i told my family, they arranged for me to marry this very rich guy who i DO NOT like. but they have set it up so that i am 'engaged' to him. they wont take no for an answer and on top of that it gets more complicated.
my father is very violent and has threatened to kill my partner and i know he will make my mother's life a living hell. however my mum wont put her foot down and divorce him because she wants to live off his income...
so now i am stuck. i either keep my family happy and ensure that mum and my little brother/sister have a dad (screwed up as he is) or marry the love of my life this friday and stuff up the life of my mum and the little ones.
Desperately need advice :(
2006-09-01 01:04:18 · 18 answers · asked by lilmisssquare 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You can't live your life for others. It is your mothers choice to stay, if the yelling or whatever your dad does was so bad, she could go, but like you said she stays for the money and that is HER choice.
Since your family is so messed up, marrying this guy they found for you will only add to the craziness.
This is your life, marry the man you love. If need be move away from your family and start a new life. They will either learn to accept this man or they won't, but that is their choice.
Good luck!
2006-09-01 01:08:57 · answer #1 · answered by silver 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is really sad, but not uncommon. I have heard many stories about the family arranged marraige vs. love. Unfortunately for you neither answer will make you happy in the beginning. It is amazing to me that a family that would arrange a marraige has allowed you to stay with your boyfriend this long. I have heard that it is a custom to have an arranged marraige in some cultures. I know you feel like you are in love, but if your boyfriend loves you that much I think he would not have waited 6 years to marry you. I personally feel that since you won't be happy either way it goes that you should at least let the rest of your family have joy and marry the arranged man; hopefully you will grow to love him.
2006-09-01 01:16:56 · answer #2 · answered by Ilovechristjesustheking 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would run away with the love of your life and never look back. Write letters to your mother and little brother and sister, but you must run away, so that your lover does not get killed. When you find someone that you love, you must be with that person, even if your family disagrees. Love really is a beautiful thing, and you are lucky to have found it. I wish the best for both you and your lover. I hope you do run away together and you live the best life ever. Maybe run away to America, but you can't live like that. Everyone is a half, until they find that person that they love, and then that person is a whole. They are complete. Do not marry that man that your father wants you to. The best thing to do is to run away wtih the man that you love.
2006-09-01 01:16:48 · answer #3 · answered by David 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're Dad is simply trying to do what is best for you by his old "traditions", warped as they are. He's threatening you the best way he knows how, by saying he'll harm someone you love. He doesn't realize how much this hurts you. After 6 years, you should know if you are in love and compatiable with your Asian man. If it were me, I would marry the love of my life, and move away for a little while until your Dad cools down. You will have to ease your way back into your family. But, you know, it's your life and you have a right to be loved and enjoy your time here. Godloveyou!
2006-09-01 01:20:52 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well personally I would follow my heart. If the Asian guy makes you happy and he is there for you then you do what you want. You don't have to please anyone but yourself. How do they know that you and this other guy is going to have a good relationship like you and the Asian guy. I say you and him move away and start a life with just the two of you and make each other happy, don't worry what others think they will come around in the end. It will be hard at first but it is worth it. Once they see that you two are happy they will be happy too.
2006-09-01 01:14:41 · answer #5 · answered by bossy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to marry your love, do it. I know that without your family's blessing, it can be difficult, but you must do what makes you happy. This is after all your life, not theirs. As far as your father's concerned, he may only be trying to scare you out of going through with the marriage. If he makes your mom's life miserable, she has a choice to make. If she decides to stay, that's her decision. She will have to deal with the consequences. If you are worried that your dad will try to harm your partner, as soon as you're married, leave the area. Go where he won't find you. Hopefully it won't come to that, but sometimes you have to take drastic measures in order to be with the one you love.
2006-09-01 01:13:06 · answer #6 · answered by T.G. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go imm marry the person u love . y u people before without thinking how u loved him. see with out love nothing is there in life . later u've to cry like anything . ofcourse life's goeson but u don't find love thinking about the sweetmemories u spent with him u die & cry each & every day. marry him later everything will be ok. maybe 2 to 3 years yr parents don't talk to u allow to their house but after u gave birth to a child . by seeing them most of the people change alot . trust me . "love is the essence of life"
2006-09-01 02:36:11 · answer #7 · answered by heart s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO what i did run away got married in Greece and never look back ... only to call your mom ..but make sure your far away!!
Today's people don't believe in love they believe in money.. that's no way to live happy married two years to the love of my life and i couldn't be happier!!! GOOD LUCK!
2006-09-01 01:10:19 · answer #8 · answered by Don't get me started 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're in the US, Western Europe, UK or Australia...Get very far away from your father, and marry the love of your life.
Your mother has made her choice and her decision. You need to make yours.
2006-09-01 01:10:34 · answer #9 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As an American, I can't imagine this.
You have to decide what is right for you. I think if you marry your love, you had better leave the country.
2006-09-01 01:13:14 · answer #10 · answered by brilliantyetconfused 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋