whats my problem?

Question

hi

i hv a silly problem..i am 20 yrs old ...i am not comfortable when i am in a group of people and i cant talk properly ... i never go and inititate a chat with anyone ..i am an introvert

and i feel ridiculous about it ...it has happened with me that i have spent time with someone and when i meet them again i totally ignore them as if i dont know them.. and until the other person initiates i never make a move...it occurs more with people of other sex

people think i hv an attitude..how can i overcome it..hmmmmmmm

dont know

cheers

boeing

Answer 1

The next time you meet an acquaintance just SMILE your most winsome smile and it does magic. They will even be the first to start a conversation.

Answer 2

Have a stiff drink, then another. Seriously. Loads of people are like this, don't let it freak you out and certainly don't see a therapist yet. Why are you looking to initiate a chat? Wait until you have something to say otherwise you'll just be babbling. You sound like I used to be. It becomes easier with self-confidence but the process takes time, just be confident in speaking if you have something to say, if you don't have anything to say then listen. A group of friends should always understand and make an effort to include you. And just try "Hi" when your stood at a bar, or pass someone you might like to talk to or you recognise. Ignoring them is impolite but you don't need to have a huge conversation with them. Often that's enough, and often they'll come back with the conversation. Don't worry too much dude.

Answer 3

Well I think you have a serious problem. But before going hopeless, try to do something about it. I think you had a very traumatic experience in your younger age that affects your attitude now. Try to think about it and know the real reason why you are acting like that. Maybe you are hiding something that causes your being introvert. During your childhood, were you allowed to play and mingle with other children? Were you not being embarassed always? Were you given a chance to express yourself freely without being reprimand? Try to imagine yourself during your childhood years and then you will understand what causes your present attitude.
If nothing is wrong during your childhood, try also to analyze how do you look like now? If you have some physical problems then that is why, but If you are physically normal, there should be no reason for being uncomfortable with other people. Nobody is perfect. Everybody has something to hide or be ashamed of. It's just a matter of how you accept your deficiencies and be adaptable to every circumstances. Just be yourself and show the world that you are one good person created and loved by God.

Answer 4

The first step to making an improvement is being aware of the problem...
and you are, well done you're half way there already!

The next step is working on the improvement, and without the effort there is no improvement.
You are aware of how you lock up and lose your tongue when around people so you now know you have to go and find it.
When in the company of others, what goes through your mind?
Your fear, because of being aware of it-therefore could be creating it rather than working around it
You fear of being rejected or ignored?
You fear them not liking you?

You surely know the saying of you can't overcome your fear until faced your fear-so you got to be brave enough to face it to overcome it

Reverse it, be determined to concentrate on pulling yourself out of this pithole and not concentrate on the fear itself.
When you do finally find your tongue, the inner strength within you, the courage being shown by allowing others to see YOU, you'll discover that there really was nothing to fear but the fear itself.

Only you can do it, and you're half way there by being 'aware'

Good luck, and God Bless You
I wish you luck

xxxx

Answer 5

I don't think there's anything wrong with you other than you are just a little shy and don't have alot of confidence. Try branching out a little at a time. Remember that people are just people just like you. Noone is better than you. Make yourself say hello to someone of the opposite sex...once you've done it the first time, it will get easier. Focus on the good things about yourself. What makes you unique.

Answer 6

Quite often, the inability to initiate the 'first move' comes from wanting to please everybody; or rather, not wanting to upset anybody. This in itself can stem from self-esteem issues.

Of course, this is only one angle at which to approach this huge subject, but make a start by analysing yourself. Sit down, take a piece of paper and write down all of those things you actually like about yourself. Don't dwell on the negative. Begin to like yourself, which is very much the first step in helping yourself. From then, perhaps you do need to see a counsellor, who will be able to guide you in the right direction.

You're not alone in this and you're not unusual. There's also nothing 'wrong' with you.

Good luck:)

Answer 7

Don't go to therapy. You are young. Interacting with other humans takes experience. If you want to get over it, you have to conciously practice interacting positively with others. Make it a point to say hello to people. I was the same way when I was your age, but over time, I was forced into situations that being an introvert just wouldn't do. I do quite a bit of client interaction and public speaking now that used to scare the hell out of me. Just force yourself to interact and you'll find that your fears were unfounded.

Answer 8

Yo are nice person. You don't to be shy of any thing in your life. firstly, a little have some talking practice with someone who you know him,her.
Always imagined that you are not less than anyone else. which is true just you should change you rthinking and act upon it. what you think what you act.

Answer 9

I think you should relax sounds like it's just part of your personality for now..try spark a conversation looking for advice on such a matter with the opposite sex,(i'm guessing girls) I think you'll be amazed at how much they just wanna know what you are thinking. No booing, just tell them what you thinking...Believe me it works.

Answer 10

i was the same way when i was 20.and i learned to force myself to talk to people instead of ignoring them.juat have to give urself a shove and get out there and just talk.