One year ago I kicked out and gave my husband divorce papers after finding out about an affair of 9 months while my daughter, age 6, (whom he adopted) was undergoing some major medical issues. I didn't have time to worry about what he was doing and her medical stuff. After that he got drunk one night and broke into my apartment, my brother was there that night and called the police because my husband pushed me out of the way to gain access to my home. Hubby was arrested and charged with DV. He had to go to counseling, anger management, and AA. After going through all the classes for 6 months, he decided he wanted to come back home. I made him conditions that had to be met in order to come home (getting a full time job, attend classes, no contact with her, no drinking, etc). He has done all of these very well, and now I am finding we are completing each other sentences. I think we are falling in love all over again. To be honest I didn't think things would go so well.
2006-08-31 22:26:04 · 30 answers · asked by Someonesmommy 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
u done the right thing to him & yrself. everyone deserve a 2nd chance if he has SINCERELY changed. time to time remind him that u appreciate he has CHANGE & BRAVE to turn over a new leaf. that made it sound like it come from a platform of apprecaition & encouragment rather than as a "i told u so" attitude & "u better remember the condition or else" attitude. also he might be the type who go for booze & sex each time he is under stress, like the time your daughter is ill. he need to know & be willing to conquer that probelm. anywhere hope u be alright, peace, man
2006-08-31 22:35:38 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If this is true, then who am I to put a damper on it. Maybe you two are some of the lucky few. If it's not broken now, don't fix it. Enjoy each other if that is what feels right.
Every moment is, and the next moment can stay the same, or something (I don't mean anything in particular) but I do know that in "the blink of an eye" or so some one said at one time, your whole life can be yanked out from under you. I certainly have no wish for that to happen, of course, but just keep in mind that in the whole scheme of things, we humans in our average 70 - 80is year long life are really only here for a very brief time.
If you are happy this minute, love it, enjoy every part of it, don't waste one second of true happiness that enters your life, because you don't know how long it will be here for. And also, don't waste it by dwelling on when and/or if it will end. Just "seize the moment".
Best of luck to you both.
2006-09-01 05:37:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody on earth can answer that. You have to make that decision yourself. I will say this, if you read what I just said to a lady about her divorce you will know where I am coming from.
My heart goers to you for your courage to succeed and if there is hope I would definitely look into it before closing the doors for good.
My wife left me and got everything just about and I still take care of her being single as I am after she blew everything. Your heart is where you should follow as I did and that is whymy ex is in a nice apartment right now that I pay, and she drives a new car that I pay and I really don;t owe her nothing, but I still love her I am just not sure we should rush things about getting married again. I'm smarter, but still have heart.
2006-09-07 15:10:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only you can answer that one, according to your heart.
Sometimes it takes a wake-up call like this for someone to realize their mistakes, and MAYBE he really did change.
However, if you do take him back, just be very cautious. Just don't fall into that trap of repeatedly being a sucker for an apology; and out of wishful thinking, believing that it's a one time thing, and he's changed... only to go through that same scenario several times, and discover you're in an eternal rut.
You've established the conditions - now stick to your guns, and don't back down! Obviously, it will take a while to rebuild that trust.
2006-09-01 05:47:56 · answer #4 · answered by ♫☼♥ ≈ Debbi ≈ ♥☼♫ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think positive dear.. maybe he learned a lesson.. and never make the same mistakes..
Sometimes we pass on confused moments during our life.. it can happen but sometimes we learn what we really love when we are loosing it.. It is complicated to explain the reason we have to loose to understand that we were winning.. But only trough mistakes and confusion u can find the right way..
Of course there will be other problems.. and life with him of for him with u, won't be always so wonderful and pink but together you both will win. BE BRAVE and go on
2006-09-01 05:58:08 · answer #5 · answered by tufty2310 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If in you heart you feel you are doing the right thing then you are. People change and grow up. He did that. Sometimes it takes something bad to happen in a relatioship for a person to see the light. He knew when he got drunk he screwed up and about lost you for good....I am glad he is doing good. i hope things work out for you two for the sake you your daughter.....My prayers are with you
2006-09-01 05:35:38 · answer #6 · answered by pam b 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Way to Go!
I am so happy for you. Just hold the feeling in your heart and it'll keep on going.
Thank you very much for sharing your LOVE SONG story with us. I am so ecstatic that it made you smile! :)
P.S.
I think you should change now your nickname so all good things will come to you and stick around for a long time.
Take care. Stay happy and in-love.
2006-09-03 14:37:53 · answer #7 · answered by Soul Sis 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the same thig happend to my parents she took him bak in he showed a real change but then she was soon being treated like crap and was cheated on 3 more times she found out abot the other to after the divorce so i would not take him back
hope this was helpful
2006-09-07 10:32:37 · answer #8 · answered by Chris 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since he's recognized he had a problem and is doing all he can to help himself, then yes, you are doing the right thing. I believe that people can change when they want to bad enough. Congratulations and keep up the good work. I wish you both luck.
2006-09-01 05:35:51 · answer #9 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, I cannot believe that you took him back. Your daughter, his stepdaughter was going through medical treatment, and it would have been hard on her and on you and you both needed him. But, while this stress was lying over your head on the condition of your daughter, he was in bed with another woman! I don't think you can get more sick! If he has changed, I don't think that should matter. He neglected his stepdaughter. He neglected you!
Nevertheless, this is your decision and life, and if you think he has changed and he's doing this right then I hope you are happy. But please, don't turn your head away from in, even in difficult times, because it seems he relieves his stress in a different way.
2006-09-01 05:33:12 · answer #10 · answered by susanradford18 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋