Hi, my husband (married for 2 yrs now, have a baby 11 months) i am 30 and he is 53yr..now my hubby has a bad temper and everytime we fight it's coz of it's temper in the sense that he gets so worked up, does something that annoys me so we end up not talking for days...and then he is the kind who can never say sorry or at least has a problem saying sorry. I am tired of sitting him down and telling him i hate this and that. Why can't he take the initiative...we just had a fight..haven't talked in 3 days!! he screamt actually yelled at the baby coz he was crying and he couldn't comfort him and i was sick and thought he should do it...so i got mad told him never to yell at him again and asked him to leave the room.since then we ain't talking..2day he sent me an sms saying that he still loves me even though i am upset with him. Why can't he just come up to me and apologize for his behaviours...i am waiting but will he? what should i do? i am tired of all these..is the age difference a prob?
2006-08-31 21:20:29 · 28 answers · asked by Carl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i didn't scream at him, i only told him never to yell at the baby...who would like that?? so he got mad and threw the baby bottle on the wall breaking things!!
2006-08-31 22:22:49 · update #1
Not all men react this way and I really think you two should go to marriage counseling.. It will be good and as well to help him vent out his anger. Screaming at one another as well is not a good environment for any children. Needless to say you both need to find away to communicate with one another .. good luck and hope things do work out.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-08-31 21:24:49 · answer #1 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need more than an apology! This is actually verbal and emotional abuse for you and the baby. The thing is, you probably grew up in a household with yelling and arguing and find this normal or you just have low self-esteem. It's not normal for this to happen! Parents should never work through arguments in front of their children or yell at their infants. I can see raising your voice (not yelling) at a 2 or 3 year old but 11 months, come on they are still babies and that is cruel. I grew up with a stepfather like this and it was very damaging for me. I still have issues with being accepted and it hinders me being myself. He needs to get help with his anger or leave. I can't believe you actually stop talking for days, when my husband and I have an argument we still talk even if we haven't fixed the problem. I think I need to add that when he married you, he was marrying someone to control (hence the 23 year age difference). You need to do something, whether you just leave him or tell him he needs to get help or you will leave him. This is not a healthy situation for your child or yourself!
2006-08-31 21:40:30 · answer #2 · answered by chrissy757 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex-husband could never bring it upon himself to apologise. He used to ignore me for days at a time and then just start talking again without an apology. If I was in the wrong I always apologised. Some men are just stubborn but now I have a wonderful man who always apologises and none of that no speaking stuff anymore.
You need to tell him that you expect him to apologise when he is wrong and it won't make him look weak as he may think but will make him seem a much better man in your eyes and it will do wonders for your marriage.
Good luck
2006-08-31 22:06:59 · answer #3 · answered by jaygirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A better question is: Why would you want to bring a baby into a marriage where you habitually scream at each other, and then live without even speaking for days at a time. I hope hubby is rich, cuz your child will probably need lots of help from a shrink. You folks WILL screw the kid up.
2006-08-31 22:17:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The age difference is a huge problem, but more important is that he is that age and hasn't learned to say he's sorry. I feel bad for you cause he ain't gonna change at this stage of the game. You either have to retrain him ...which may never happen, like I said or you will have to live with it and accept it. You can always leave, but you have your baby to consider and that my dear is your most important issue. Maybe he should go to anger management classes, they may help. God bless and good luck, I feel for you. Don't ever let him scream at the child.....that is such bad behavior.
2006-08-31 21:32:09 · answer #5 · answered by honeybee4u2c 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you do not element out if there is fault on his section to make higher an "i'm sorry" for. really frankly, over the years i have tried in no thanks to say something or to pursue an action while it worried a better half except I knew or became extremely particular i became most suitable formerly. So clearly if I have not something to convey regret for then i'm now unlikely to convey regret. in view that i have afflicted to take large pains formerly to do and say the right element, then I see no good reason to make higher extra attempt afterwards to make somebody else sense as even with the undeniable fact that they were precise in the journey that they were so obviously incorrect. per chance your better half is the same way. per chance he would not imagine he's sweet concerning what grew to develop right into a row, yet actual knows he's sweet. per chance because he already made the attempt formerly he then would not see why he could be stated as upon back and back to make any attempt afterwards. it is purely an concept, it really is what you requested for.
2016-12-06 02:18:15 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Superiority complex coupled with wanting an easy life....ie you do everything. Is this his first kid? If so he has got to his 50's and never had to think about them, now one has just taken over his life as he knew it. What about going to a parenting class together? Might sound namby-pamby but at least you would be doing something about the care of your baby together. Or just get some books and look into some stuff together, it sounds like he has yet to bond with your baby.
2006-08-31 21:37:28 · answer #7 · answered by rondavous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem with my husband. He almost never apologizes to me. Personally I think it all has to do with the male ego. I think they are afraid to admit they were wrong. I've just learned to accept that that is the way he is. When the steam blows off, I do sit down and have a serious talk with him about what went wrong and why. Always keep your lines of communication open.
2006-08-31 21:25:24 · answer #8 · answered by supermom05 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Age may play a role. But saying sorry to someone rather man or women comes from a more deeper place than that. Some feel that saying sorry makes them wrong, makes them look weak. alot of things come in to play.So if he is the type that cant or wont say sorry. then stop asking and/or waiting for it.Move on. stop saying your sorry when you are not. at 53 he is not going to change. So take a good look at your marriage.
2006-08-31 21:41:16 · answer #9 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's because his ego is as big as his temper. He's more concerned about being right than being sorry. At any rate, you should be more worried about how your child will be affected by his bad temper. It looks like he needs anger management classes. Don't expect him to apologize to you because I bet he's gone thru life not knowing how to do so and feels it's somehow unnecessary.
It is an art he has to learn all over again.
2006-08-31 21:26:46 · answer #10 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋